The chance to sleep in is a privilege, one that many people don’t get to experience nearly enough.
So when they have that all too rare opportunity, it’s understandable that they might be less than thrilled to be woken up.
Accidentally or not.
Redditor LazyWrite‘s work schedule required them to get up much earlier than their partner, requiring them to take extra care so as not to wake her up
But when their partner didn’t make the same effort on the original poster (OP)’s day off, they were understandably less than pleased, and weren’t afraid to tell her so.
But wondering if they might have overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for calling my girlfriend an inconsiderate wanker for waking me up on my day off?”
The OP explained how their partner had different work schedules, but while they made an effort not to wake her up when she could sleep in, their partner wasn’t quite as considerate.
“Every day I get up at 5am for work.”
“I do everything I can to be as quiet as physically possible to not wake my partner.”
“Of course it’s not going to be perfect every time, but I’d say around 90% of the time she doesn’t wake up at all while I’m showering and getting ready etc.”
“She on the other hand, can be flexible as to when she gets up and starts work.”
“She works from home, and in her role she doesn’t have any direct superior to monitor her, or at least one that cares.”
“Now, this woman is atrocious with punctuality and time management.”
“She’s always late to everything.”
“She wakes up late almost every day, but as she’s able to just log onto her laptop straight out of bed, she can just get away with it.”
“The fact I have to get up early for work every day means I really value a lie in on my days off.”
“It’s something I’ve always appreciated and taken pleasure in, sleeping in till 9 or 10am when possible.’
‘We have no kids or any other responsibilities that would make this an impossible or otherwise irresponsible pleasure.”
“I usually have weekends off the same as her, but due to the shift patten I’m on I sometimes have week days off, this week being Wednesday and Thursday.”
“Now this morning, as per usual, she woke up late for work.’
“Actually; she woke up, made a cup of tea, sat on TikTok for a bit, and then had to rush around because she was late for work.’
‘This is regular behavior for her.’
“She’s now frantically rushing around trying to get ready.”
“Quite literally running around the house, in and out of rooms, up and down the stairs, banging doors and stomping around everywhere.”
“Making it worse she was also wearing flip flops so I could hear them loudly slapping against her feet with every step.”
“When she finally stopped darting around like a cat on heat, she came into the bedroom to use her makeup and toiletries.”
“Every single can, bottle, brush, pencil, whatever, gets slammed on the table, some drop on the floor, hairspray and perfume being sprayed everywhere.”
“This is the same woman who asks me to spray my deodorant outside of the room because it’s loud and ‘makes the room toxic’.”
“She then says she needs to use the hairdryer.’
‘I responded ‘Oh, because you’ve been so quite up until now’.”
“She just replied ‘I don’t care’, and used the hairdryer, twice.”
‘This is what really pissed me off honestly.”
“She clearly could just not at all give a sh*t in the slightest is what really gets under my skin and has annoyed the f*ck out of me.”
“To me it’s just inconsiderate, and shows the ugly side of her character and somewhat sh*tty attitude.”
“So I angrily called her an inconsiderate wanker.”
“She almost seemed a little confused and said that it was really uncalled for, and that I’m overreacting.’
“I wouldn’t mind as much if this was a one off or rare occurrence, but it isn’t.”
“While typing this I do feel like I might have overreacted a bit, but it’s really aggravated me and made me wake up in a horrible mood.’
“AITA for reacting poorly to this, do I genuinely owe her an apology?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP had every right to clap back at their partner, and was not the a**hole for doing so.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s partner was being extremely inconsiderate, and deserved to be told so, with some questioning if it was worth it for the OP to stay in this relationship.
“NTA.”
“Sit her down and offer her two options.”
‘You either both do your best to let each other sleep when one has to get up early and the other doesn’t.’
‘Or neither if you do it and you’ll stop tiptoeing around her at 5am too.”
‘See what she picks.”
“And if she picks the latter, you’ll at least get an extra 30mins every day because you can now get out of bed and get ready much faster too, because you now longer need to worry about waking her.”- Fionsomnia
“NTA.’
“Show her how an inconsiderate wanker behaves at 5am.”- eatmeimadonut
“NTA.”
“I had a roommate who did this in the morning, but lost her shit if I needed a light at night for 60 seconds.”
“Some people think they are the main character in everyone’s life.”- AliManny
“NTA”
“My bf use to get up for work at 5 am, and literally start whining about having to be awake.”
‘I asked him once to respect my sleep.”
“He did well for a week.”
“Started up again.”
“So Saturday I woke him up at 7,”
“Made sure he couldn’t get back to sleep.’
“Sometimes you just have to play a little ‘Show instead of Tell’.”- Emergency_Squirrel80
“I think NTA, because I just am very into respect, especially toward one’s partner.”
“It sounds like you try your best to respect her sleep when you are getting ready for work, but it does not sound like she has shown you the same respect which is unfortunate.”
“You would have overreacted maybe if it was a one time thing, but you said this is not a rare occurrence.”
“What works for my boyfriend and I, as I am a very light sleeper and have problems falling asleep again once woken, is a white noise machine.”
‘Unless you have a master bathroom with no door to your bedroom, I would think she could quietly grab the makeup items she needs and use them and the hairdryer in the bathroom, with the door closed.’
‘Even better if the bathroom is in a hallway outside of bedroom with two doors to close.”
“The fact she did not make any concessions during this confuses me.”
“The hairdryer couldn’t be used in a different room?”- sengze
“If she doesn’t care about your well being and feelings, as stated by her own words, why would you continue to be with her?”- gw2kpro
“NTA.”
‘Because, to be fair, she is being an inconsiderate wanker.”- CheerilyTerrified
“NTA- dude, what’s the point in being with someone who is this inconsiderate.”
“Also if I did this sh*t then was called a wanker, I’d be laughing my ass off about it then apologize for running around like a bat outta hell.”- birdwithtinyarms
“For the next week, make it a point to be as loud as possible when you get up at 5 AM.”
“Slam down that toilet lid.”
“Toss your deodorant can onto the counter.”
“She wasn’t lying.”
“She doesn’t care.’
“So show her how crappy it is.”
“Is this healthy or mature?”
“No, but I’m neither.”
“Good luck!”- BradWTodd
“NTA.”
“She is selfish and inconsiderate.”
‘Re-think this relationship.”
“This behavior will spill over to every part of your life.”- Gidge0506
‘Stop being considerate boyfriend at 5am.”
“NTA.”-Whole-Swimming6011
“NTA.’
“Also… When is she going to get her ADHd diagnosed and on meds?”
“Saying that as a woman who has it.”
“I can be that level of infuriating.”
“Still my fault.”
“Still shitty to do to a partner.”
“Honestly it’s why sleeping in separate rooms can be a godsend.’
‘Have a guest room you can relax in for the nights you get to sleep in?”- Willdiealonewithcats
“Lol why are you even with someone who you describe like that?”- DogsReadingBooks
“This is one of those posts that gives the sub a bad name, because all of the top comments are screaming ‘break up!’ when this has tons of potential for resolution.’
“Is it a problem?”
“Absolutely.’
‘But breaking up at the first sign of a problem will guarantee a solitary life.’
“If she’s willing to sit down and communicate when you’re both calmer, then I see no reason why you can’t work this out.’
“I see two things to address – the ‘I don’t care’ reaction is a big deal.”
“I also think that name calling has no place in a healthy relationship.”
“But yeah. “
“Calm down, talk about it, and for god’s sake don’t take relationship advice from Redditors, especially Redditors in August.”- icecreampenis
It feels like common knowledge to treat others like you would want to be treated yourself.
Making it fairly surprising that the OP’s girlfriend didn’t seem to give even the slightest concern about disrupting their sleep.
Hopefully, she’ll change her ways after a civil conversation.
Particularly if she wants to stay in this relationship.