We all love our pets.
And though pets bring joy and comfort to all who own them, there are some who give their pets far more love than others.
Some would go so far as to consider their pets proper members of their family.
The wife of Redditor aitacatnomothersday felt that she was just as much a mother as anyone else, in-spite of the fact that she had no children, only a cat.
So much so, that she even got angry at her husband when he neglected to do anything special on mother’s day.
Concerned he’d really made a mistake, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I the A**Hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not doing anything for my wife on Mother’s day?”
In a short, concise post, the OP shared what his current living situation is with his wife, and his surprise when his wife expressed her dissatisfaction when he let Mother’s Day go by.
“So yeah this has been an issue since yesterday.”
“Important: my wife and I don’t have kids and she has never even been pregnant.”
“Last summer we adopted a kitten.”
“My wife came to me last night and said she was disappointed that I didn’t get her anything or take her out for Mother’s Day.”
“I was confused and said she wasn’t a mother so why would I do that?”
“She said she’s basically a mother because we have a cat and she takes care of him (we both do, he’s a cat it takes like 5 min per day to do everything for him).”
“I admit that I started laughing because I thought she was joking.”
“I tried explaining that, at minimum, qualifying for mother’s day should entail being a parent or potential parent to a human child.”
“I have no intentions of being celebrated on father’s day because I have a cat.”
“She is still mad at me.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was in no way the a**hole for doing anything special for his wife on mother’s day.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s wife was being unreasonable, and that raising a cat is simply not the same as raising a child.
“I had a cat for 16.5 years and at no point did I consider celebrating Mother’s Day despite calling myself a cat mom.”- heretic8921.
“First, because you paid the cat tax without us having to remind you.”
“Second, you can’t read her mind.”
“If she expected something, she should have spoke up.”- MaybeAWalrus.
“What the hell did I just read?”
“I like animals, and have no kids or grandkids, but trying to claim motherhood if you have a cat is just embarrassing.”
“Motherhood does not equate to being a hero or some kind of miracle worker, as some people would claim, but it’s a hard, serious, responsible job, and can’t be compared to cat ownership in any way, other than perhaps they depend on you for sustenance and shelter.”- Unit-Healthy.
“Next she’ll want the cat to make her a Mother’s Day card.”-Miiesha.
“Pray she never has kids if she thinks taking care of a cat is near the effort of parenthood.”-NotMyFirstChoice675.
“If you got her something as a joke, then fine.”
“It would be cute as she’s a ‘cat mom’.”
“But to expect a big celebration because you share a pet is just so weird.”
“I have a dog and this has never crossed my mind, and I personally think it’s super icky and weird.”
“This is odd.”-urpledurple94.
“If she were only like partially serious then it would just be funny and kinda weird, ‘ooo I’m a cat-mom hehe’ is one thing.”
“Being serious and actually expecting to get a gift is strange.”
“You’re definitely NTA at all.”- Cold_Chipmunk5728.
“Being a cat parent doesn’t mean you get celebrated on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.”
“Though your wife may get you something for Father’s Day to make a point.”-ChapSteve711.
“Also you have got to be f*cking kidding me.”
“I am a woman. 30s.”
“Absolutely LOVE my cat.”
“But never in a million years would I say I’m ‘basically a mom’.”
“If anything I love my cat BECAUSE it’s not a child lol.”
“I love animals and I love having pets, but pet culture has gone way, way too far with this ‘fur baby’ sh*t.”
“If you don’t have children you’re not a parent.”
“This is not a difficult concept.”-c0smicpancakes.
“I actually teased my husband about this yesterday.”
“I told him is was thoughtless to not even get me a card when the cats and I were planning a special Father’s day outing for him.”
“At first he didn’t realize I was joking until I said we were renting a boat b/c the cats wanted him to teach them how to fish.”
“This is a weird request.”- Corpuscular_Ocelot.
“I would’ve thought she was joking too, I don’t think you did anything wrong.”
“She was being a bit dramatic, especially to still be mad at you over it.”-vanhelsing069.
“Okay, so I could see celebrating Mother’s Day and Father’s Day for the kitty as a joke or even just as an excuse to have another holiday for presents.”
“But, if she’s GENUINELY mad?”
“HOWEVER, I’m wondering if this isn’t a deeper issue about her wanting kids and to BE a mom.”
“If so, I can see her being sensitive about this topic, so it might be worth talking to her about it and seeing where this anger is actually coming from.”
“If it’s not that, then I hope she keeps this same energy when June 19th rolls around.”-AVDisco.
“She isn’t a mother, her expecting something is very weird to me.”- DrMindbendersMonocle.
“Get her a gift on behalf of her kitten.”
“Something that shouts ‘here, this is for you, I made it myself’.”
“A dead mouse/bird/beetle/frog would probably do.”-SugarP48.
“She sounds a tad ridiculous to be honest.”-Ok-Prune-3952.
“As someone who had cats for 17 years and was totally that cat mom, I never ever expected anything on mother’s day.”
“I had friends who would wish me well for being a pet mom, but that’s the extent of it lol.”
“She isn’t a mother.”
“She has a cat and yes people will have fur babies instead of babies, but she is silly for being mad.”-SnooWords4839.
“NTA, owning a cat is like, 5% the work of having actual children.”
“She’s not a mother, she shouldn’t try to be celebrated on Mother’s Day.”
“Does she try and get celebrated on other people’s birthdays too?”-bethafoot.
“Women who don’t have kids aren’t mothers.”
“I love pets/animals too, but they are not your children.”
“I do not understand what is wrong with some people, jfc.”-stoprobbers.
“Nope, nope, nope!”
“I am a dog owner and this is a BIG nope!”-aspermyprevious.
“NTA – she is not a mother.”
“A kitten is not a child.”
“I have dogs.”
“They are not children.”
“I love them.”
“I take good care of them.”
“They are not children.”- BrinaGu3.
“A few people have wished me happy mothers day because I have a bunny lol but it’s been like a joke and I haven’t expected it from others.”
“Mothers day is for people with or who have had human children.”- Inside-Eye-3994.
A few pointed out that there was a more appropriate day where the OP could celebrate all his wife does for their cat.
“Also for future reference, there is actually a National Pet Parents Day that is the last Sunday of April.”-FairieWarrior.
“The last Sunday in April is Pet Parents Day.”
“In case you want to mark it for next year. :)”-aztec1313.
“International pet parent day was on April 24th.”
“There is a whole ass day for that and it was not important enough for her to google.”
“She is not a mother because of a kitten.”
“I am both a crazy cat mom, who loves her little fur baby to death, and a mother to a 10yr old human.”
“It is ridiculous to think you are entitled to a day that you haven’t earned the stripes to.”
“And parenthood comes in many different forms.”
“My daughter respects one of her aunts like a second mom and made sure to make her a card for mothers day.”
“But not by adopting or purchasing an animal.”
“She missed the day she should be asking for.”
“For future reference OP, April 30th 2023 is the next pet parent day.”-Little_Rip_1063.
“National Pet Parents Day is April 30th.”
“Y’all can celebrate next year.”- The__Riker__Maneuver.
One wonders if the anger of the OP’s wife stems from something a bit deeper than wanting to be recognized for being a cat parent?
Either way, it seems like some serious discussions are in order.
And hopefully, the OP can arrange something special for National Pet Parents Day.