When people move into a home with roommates, there is a general, if unspoken, understanding that the arrangement is temporary.
So when the news comes that one roommate is moving out, it is often met with all sorts of different reactions.
First, there’s the emotional reaction, where people must process their disappointment (or relief) that they won’t be living with this roommate anymore.
Then there’s the practical and economic issue of what this means to their personal living situation, namely do they need to find a new roommate, or a new place to live entirely?
A recent Redditor was initially happy to move in with two close male friends of hers.
Unfortunately, it didn’t take long for the original poster (OP) to grow tired of the situation.
So, naturally, when the opportunity to move into her own place arose, she decided to take it.
Her two roommates, however, were much less excited about this prospect, specifically owing to what this might mean for them.
Having doubts about how well she handled the situation, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for moving out of the house i share with my 2 friends and taking all of my furniture with me?”
The OP explained why her two roommates were anything but celebratory at the news that she was moving out:
“I 30 F[emale] have lived with my 2 friends, both 30 M[ale] for 2 years.”
“When we inititally decided to do this, we were all in a position where we couldn’t afford to live on our own and decided to get a place together.”
“It was a mutual decision and they somewhat rode on my coat tails with it as they are quite lazy.”
“I had to arrange all the viewings, do all the admin, drive to all viewings as i am the only driver, arrange all the bills etc etc.”
“Unfortunately, about 90% of the entire house is furnished with my property as i lived with my partner before and bought everything then.”
“The only rooms which are not are their bedrooms.”
“I am now in a position where I can afford to live on my own and quite frankly, i would like my own space.”
“The house is smelly and dirty unless I clean it, we have very different ideas of cleaning.”
“I’m the household taxi service, shopper, gardener, money lender and im quite tired of having to look after other people.”
“I’ve got back into the dating scene now and living with 2 guys who are always hanging around isn’t great.”
“They said it isn’t fair as they don’t have any money saved up to replace the sofa, kitchen stuff, living room tv, dining room table, literally the entire house.”
“I told them that they shouldnt be living pay check to pay check and throwing all of their money away every month.”
“I said that I’m entitled to move on with my life and they should know that this wouldn’t be it for the rest of our lives, we wont be forever single and retiring together.”
“I said i will give them a few months to put some money aside but I will be looking after this.”
“They said that wasnt enough time.”
“The property is more than affordable for 2 people, they both work full time and earn a decent wage.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for moving out, and taking her furniture with her.
Everyone agreed that the OP had every right to find a place of her own if she was in a position to do so, and it wasn’t her problem if her roommates weren’t financially responsible and had no furniture of their own:
“NTA.”
“If they don’t currently have money, they can find some furniture from a thrift store or a rental place.”
“The fact that they’ve gotten to use your furniture for free and used you for transportation should be something they’re grateful for.”- Having-hope3594
“NTA.”
“But holy crap, you need to learn to stand your ground on things.”
“It is wild to think that you were not only responsible for most of the furniture but the cleaning, bills etc for 2 years.”- applebum8807
“NTA.”
“Don´t you think you have catered to them long enough?”
“They are 30 YEARS OLD.”
“You need to stop treating them like you are their mum and their small children.”
“As of right now.”
“Sure, they will be mad and whine, but again.”
“They are 30 YEARS OLD.”
“The furniture is yours.”
“They can get their own.”
“Second-hand stores exist.”- Initial-Company3926
“NTA.”
“Your friends are both 30 years old.”
“They need to go to FB marketplace and second-hand furniture stores and furnish the place on the cheap.”
“Give them 3 months and then move out and take all your stuff with you.”- Comfortable-Sea-2454
“NTA.”
“Do not hold off on your plans. There’s no point to it.”
“You offered 2 months for them to save and their response was to whine, what does that tell you?”
‘It tells me you’ll be having this conversation every two months.”
“Just sorry you feel that way and then don’t discuss it.”
“I’m sure they’ll try to argue or whine at you, ignore it.”
“You need to move on, they’ll never grow up if you don’t.”- Ok_Homework8692
“NTA.”
“You are entitled to what is yours when you move and like you told them, they should have saved their money and you are giving t5hem time to do just that.”
“They have no right to what is yours, let them pay for their own stuff because it is past time for them to grow up and be actual adults and not petulant immature people.”- mustng66
“NTA.”
“They can buy everything from consignment shops, a cheap big box store, find it on Facebook Marketplace for free, rent/rent-to-own furniture, or go without until they can save up.”
“How do 2 men in their 30s not have $800 between them?”- Microwave_7
“NTA.”
“I would plan to move out when YOU want to. They can buy a bean bag chair.”
“They sound like petulant children.”
“I hope you are able to get your name off the lease and not have that hanging over your head.”
“Their failure to plan is not your concern.”- SliceEquivalent825
“NTA.”
“You’ve basically been mothering them for 2 years and it’s time for them to grow up.”
“Let them sit on the floor for a while, and they’ll figure out how to find cheap furniture pretty quickly.”-RightLocal1356
“NTA.”
“They are basically just saying ‘noo don’t go we dont want to have to actually do sh*t and manage our money’.”- ExtensionAwkward546
“NTA.”
“Don’t give them months.”
“Move whenever you get ready.”
“They are adults, not your children.”- FairyCompetent
“NTA.”
“You’re not their friend, you’re their surrogate mommy.”
“They are grown-a** men, and you are not responsible for them.”
“Move out, move forward with your life, and don’t look back.”- Blendinnotblandin
“NTA.”
“They are not your responsibility.”
“Did they think you would live there forever?”
“Just move.”
“Refuse to discuss it further.”
“They can buy some used cheap chairs until they can afford furniture or they can sit on their beds.”
“This is just stupid.”- Proof_Crazy_6632
“NTA.”
“Move out ASAP, they have fair warning.”
“Nothing will change whether you give them 1 month or 6 months notice.”- Bee03333
“NTA.”
“Life is too short to manage other grown adults.”- Ashamed-Broccoli-768
“NTA.”
“During college my son furnished an entire apartment from the thrift store which he was living several states away for an 9 month co-op position.”
“These guys can figure it out and make it work, lots of free/upcycle places, thrift stores, etc.”
“You can even offer to sell them some of your least favorite furniture pieces (and for a fair price, not give away) so you don’t have to move them.”- Kimbo151
“It’s not your job to be the house mom and do everything plus they can’t even clean properly.”
“Time for you to move on with your life.”
“NTA.”- SnooDoughnuts4691
“NTA.”
“But: ‘the household taxi service and money lender’??”
“Now that it’s all said and done, I’d focus on learning some boundaries and growing a spine.”-Malice_A4thot
“NTA.”
“You are not their mother and they are old enough to look after themselves.”
“They are trying to emotionally manipulate you.”
“Move and take your stuff.”
“They will be fine.”- Blueridgetoblueocean
“NTA.”
“Be careful.”
“They’re going to damage your things.”
“They’re going to damage them enough where you might decide that you don’t want to take them with you when you move.”
“That way, they’re left behind for them.”
“Do not let them do this.”
“And if they DO damage your things, take them out anyway, even if you end up putting them in the dump.”- FerroMancer
Moving into your first home without your parents is daunting.
However, it seems that the OP’s roommates were spared those challenges, as they had a surrogate mother in this OP.
It seems that by moving out, the OP will be doing her soon-to-be former roommates as much a favor as she will do herself.
Her own independence will finally teach her roommates how to be independent as well.