It’s not unreasonable to assume that we can always depend on their family.
Even so, like everything else, getting help from family members always has its limits.
Particularly when someone’s work or professional life comes into play.
Many people will assume that a familial connection will guarantee a discount or complimentary service owing to their employment at the business in question.
When they find out they’re wrong, they don’t always take their disappointment in stride.
Redditor Select-Tart-6113 was happy to let her brother partake in her business, even offering him a discounted service.
However, the discount turned out not to be quite enough for the original poster (OP)’s brother, who demanded she drop her going rate even more.
When the OP refused this request, the OP’s brother made no effort to hide his displeasure.
Wondering if she was being unfair, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA because I won’t give my brother daycare for $25/day?”
The OP explained why she rejected her brother’s request for special treatment at her work:
“I (33 F[emale], recently divorced mom) operate an in-home daycare with my sister.”
“For the last few weeks, we have been caring for our 10-month-old nephew, our brother’s son, with the expectation that my brother will eventually start paying us, including back pay.”
“We have cared for my nephew 14 days so far, about 4-7 hours per day.”
“My brother wants me to charge only $25 per day, whereas we usually charge $60 per day.”
“When I made a case that $30 per day is reasonable, he responded:”
“1- I am not a client, I am your brother and he is your nephew first off.”
“When you and [ex-husband] were considering selling your home I was going to do 1% commission instead of 3% because you’re family, which roughly would have been about and $8,500 pay cut.”
“[This was never discussed.]”
“2- I did pay hundreds for a daycare, and I have no problem doing it again.”
“The difference is a daycare I know 100% I can always take my son there, with him going to y’all, we have to figure out a solution using leave hours anytime the house is down with sickness or y’all go on vacation.”
“3- I am compensating based on the amount of work you have to do for the 3-4 hours he is there, actually hourly it’s more than compensating.”
“It is not my fault you chose a route where you don’t make a lot of money, but that damn sure doesn’t make it my responsibility to make up for it.”
“4- I think your mindset is a little twisted.”
“You have the opportunity to see and build a relationship with your nephew and get paid for it separately where we don’t count toward your attendance.”
“That is either $400-$450 a month for seeing your nephew or if you want to be petty it can easily be $0.”
“5- y’all are the ones that said over and over again you wanted to see [nephew] more often and wished he would go there.”
“I am not by any means strapped for money where I can’t easily put him back in daycare full time… but y’all wanted to watch him and I knew it would bring some extra money your way at the same time so should be a win/win.”
“Where you have it f–ked up is you think I need to take him there and you want to talk like he’s just another kid or I’m just another client.”
“I’m not the one to be getting in a back and forth with.”
“If you want the money every month to see your nephew then you need to check yourself, or I’ll keep him the rest of this week and he will start somewhere else next week, I’m not here to play ‘you’re hurting my feelings games’.”
“Let me know, but this isn’t a back and forth.”
“I thought it was a good way for him to spend time with his family and to put some money in your pocket, if it’s a problem already, just say so and I’ll gladly make other arrangements.”
“After that, I responded that I thought his message was entitled and disrespectful, and I think it’s best we do not continue a business relationship.”
“My brother says I’m ‘entitled’, my mindset is ‘twisted’, and I should ‘say less’.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing her brother’s request to lower his discount for her daycare services.
Everyone agreed with the OP that her brother was certainly behaving in an entitled manner for demanding a larger discount, with others feeling he was blatantly taking advantage of her and being manipulative, and some even urging the OP to stop watching her nephew altogether.
“NTA.”
“There might be argument for ‘but it’s just $5’ – but that response from him?”
“Um, no. I barely got to #2 when I was already thinking ‘don’t mix business with family’ and that you should just say ‘no’.”
“Glad to see you did.”
“With this attitude of his, I think he would become more and more of a problem.”
“He claims to have paid hundreds before and can do it again, but he hasn’t paid you yet and owes you?”
“Interesting.”
“Yeah – don’t watch your nephew.”
“It will only cause more issues.”
“And at this point, dont’ get into it with him anymore – just say ‘It’s best that we keep business and family separate from here on out’.”
“He spouts off more?”
“‘I understand’.”
“It’s best that we keep business and family separate from here on out’.”
“He ends up coming back and saying ‘O.k – look, I decided to do you a favor (because you know that’s how he’ll spin it) and pay the $30 a day’.”
“Response is ‘I appreciate that, but it’s best that we keep business and family separate from here on out’.”
“Over and over and over.”- Goalie_LAX_21093
“NTA.”
“That’s a lot of very aggressive arguing for someone who has ‘no problem’ going back to a more expensive daycare.”
“He’s trying to take advantage of you, he knows it, and he’s angry you know it too.”- CanterCircles
“NTA.”
“You are doing him a favor not the other way around.”
“I love that he’s tried to flip that on you.”
“Here I’ll do you a favor look after my child in lieu of a kid who pays the full amount and relish the time he’s ever so graciously allowing you with your nephew.”
“Well b*gger that.”
“You did the right thing.”
“If he has soooo much money then he can pay the full amount for daycare.”
“I don’t know why he fails to realise whether it’s in your home or not.”
“You are running a daycare.”
“He made his bed.”
“Now he can lie in it.”- northerntropicaz
“Not only would I say no to baby sitting for your brother, I’d go low/no contact for a while for your own sanity after this BS statement.”
“This is a service.”
“A service where you charge $60.”
“You’re already giving him a $30/day family discount.”
“NTA, he can kick rocks.”- KronkLaSworda
“NTA you’re offering a 50% discount.”
“I get that in home may be more reliable, but it’s f*cked to act like you’re flush with cash but only willing to pay strangers the wage they ask.”
“If he just paid you what you asked he would still come out on top.”
“His son is taking up a spot that could be filled by someone paying the full amount.”
“He’s using his nephews relationship as a weapon and that’s pretty abusive.”
“He needs to grow up.”- ModernZombies
“NTA.”
“Given his reason #2, I would suggest that he should go ahead and find a different provider so you don’t end up inconveniencing him if someone gets sick.”- OkeyDokey654
“NTA.”
“Tell him to go back to paying for ‘expensive day care’ tomorrow!”
“Brother is unhappy with a 50% discount.”
“Brother fails to see that his child will be taken care of by family not strangers.”
“Brother acts like he’s doing you a favor by dropping off his kid and paying you anything.”
“Tomorrow, that’s the day he needs go pay strangers a ton of money to watch his kid.”- LouisV25
“I pay $25 a day for my pet.”
“For about 15 minutes work.”
“Not my business but I would expect to pay more for a whole human being to be cared for for 4-7 hours!”
“Your business, but clients who can’t respect you maybe should find somewhere else for their child to be.”
“As family he should respect you enough to pay you full price not be trying to cheat you.”
“NTA.”- WickedJigglyPuff
The fact that the OP’s brother made it clear that he can afford expensive child care he felt such a need to belittle the OP for not lowering her discount.
Making it all the more difficult not to agree with all those who pointed out that he, and not the OP, was clearly the one with a “twisted” mindset”.
One can only assume that after only a few months of paying expensive daycare bills, the OP’s brother will come to regret the way he treated his sister.