Children can be a heavy responsibility.
Sometimes, it seems, this is more literal than one would think.
Redditor and Original Poster (OP) Icywintersun found herself on the wrong side of her family when she decided to place that responsibility down on the closest sturdy surface.
So, eager for an outside opinion, she turned to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for guidance.
She asked:
“AITA for putting a baby on a table”
She began with the setting.
“Yesterday, I was at a cousin’s house to meet their baby for the first time with my family.”
“It was a pretty okay day, had to miss work but got some lovely dinner made by my cousin.”
“Their baby is adorable but I’m not that big a fan of them haha.”
“So she wanted us to pictures with it and she wanted to take one of me holding it.”
OP then explained the problem itself.
“She wanted me to hold it in a cradle for several photos which was annoying but was fine.”
“But then I tried to give the baby back to her mom and she and the rest of the family decided to be funny and were like ‘nah you keep holding her, she likes you lol’.”
“After 5 minutes, her head ready began to hurt my arm, after 10 minutes, it become even more annoying.”
“I have diabetes and it makes me a lot weaker at times and yesterday was one of them.”
So the dinner table had a soft quilt over it, that was a little thin but I thought would be fine for her so when they weren’t looking, I gently placed her on the table.”
“She burst into tears and was swaying a lot, her mom gave me a death stare before picking her up.”
“Her Dad was like ‘wtf’ to me and I argued back and then my mom, being like she is chimed in, on their side of course.”
“It was a sh*tshow with them blaming me and saying I’m neglectful as the baby was crying.”
She was left to wonder.
“What do you think?”
Having explained the situation, OP asked Reddit for guidance.Â
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: Not Enough Info
There were some who were left with more questions.
“INFO: Was the baby in danger of rolling off or just crying because you put her down.?”
“I think NTA, but for future reference, don’t put small, squirmy, rolly babies on tables. They can roll off and get gravely injured.”~SnazzySusieQ
Though others felt very strongly.
“Apologies for hijacking the top post, but I think this needs to be called to everyone’s attention.”
“This isn’t what the OP asked, but it is actually what OP is asking:”
” ‘AITA for refusing to be made responsible for someone else’s child?’ “
“Because that’s exactly what was going on here.”
“The whole purpose of this operation by OP’s family was to”
“program OP into wanting to have children (preferably as soon as possible)”
“OP was absolutely NTA for saying ‘Nope, I am not going to play your childish, manipulative game.’ And look at just how well that game worked”
“– Almost everyone here, including OP, is paying attention to the ‘baby on the table’ issue and not noticing the”
” ‘extremely uncomfortable young person being forced to care for an infant against their will’.”~cat-lover76
And,
“NTA.”
“You told them you were running out of strength, then you put the baby down before you dropped her.”
“The baby cried because of their neglect, not because of anything you did.”
“But in the future, don’t put a baby on a table, because the sneaky little suckers can roll themselves off really fast when no one expects it, so put the baby on the floor if you have to”
“– walk right up to one of her parents and set her on the floor in front of them, then walk away.”
“The people saying, ‘use your words,’ aren’t listening — they were all doing that thing where they pointedly talk over and ignore the ‘peon’ they have decided to bully.”
“That’s why you put the kid down and walk away — but on the floor where she can’t roll off.”~HelenGonne
Some didn’t understand the problem.
“I don’t see how putting a baby, especially a very young one, on a bedded table with an adult watching could be harmful.”
“I’m assuming this is a newborn who can wiggle but not crawl or roll.”
“She was watching it and in proximity.”
“No one is getting hurt in this situation unless there’s some natural disaster that strikes, or it’s 1’x2′ table.”~pokemonprofessor121
There were personal stories.Â
“Story time.”
“My dad had me in one of those bouncy chairs, but I hadn’t really started bouncing in it yet, so I was just chilling in the chair.”
“My sister was messing with me a lot, so dad put me on the counter so he could cook breakfast in peace.”
“Guess who learned how to bounce in that exact moment?”
“Bounced riiiiight off the counter.”~iCoeur285
Or,Â
“Babies learn to do the most deadly stuff as soon as you take your eyes off them honestly.”
“My cousin figured out how to climb out of her cot when my dad was visiting.”
“He walked past her room and then heard the sound of her head hitting the hardwood.”
“Says it makes him ill to think about 20 years later. (She’s fine by the way, she’s just a dumb*ss)”~bequietbecky
Not everyone felt OP was in the right.Â
“In the comments, OP literally says she just tried ‘to give hints’.”
“I myself have a really hard time speaking up—if, say, I don’t know what to do with an empty plate, my instinct is always to circle the house several times and then try to observe others before ‘casually’ setting a plate down and running away, all before actually asking someone”
“—But I really don’t get all the sympathy for OP here.”
“This is a baby, not a plate.”
“You have to SAY something.”
“Her only saving grace in my eyes is that I understand how sometimes low blood sugar can make a person feel desperate and impair judgment”
“—But she had 15 minutes to ruminate over this while actively not speaking up for herself, so I’m not even sure that’s an excuse.”
“This is a solid ESH for me.”
“It is not at all a burden on her to tell the baby’s parents she can no longer hold it, and they were entitled to that explicit warning before she just set the baby down.”~harmcharm77
Babies are a heavy responsibility.
Literally and metaphorically.
Still, it’s always important to be clear with the people around you about what you feel comfortable with. Without direct, clear communication there can be no understanding.
That’s how you get babies on tables.