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Woman Considers Kicking Sister Out For Refusing To Stop Applying Migraine-Inducing Deodorant

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Sharing a home also means being mindful of your co-inhabitants.

As a result, every now and then we might have to find ourselves sacrificing something which usually gives us pleasure.

Particularly if what might be a simple pleasure to us, affects the health and safety of one’s roommate.

Redditor imbrokeandsleepy wanted to help out her sister, by offering her a place to live when she needed one.

But ever since her sister moved in, the original poster (OP) saw a health condition of her’s become exacerbated, and feared there might be only one solution.

Wondering if this would be too severe, the OP took to the subReddit “Would I Be The A**hole” (WIBTA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“WIBTA for kicking my sister out over deodorant?”

In a short, concise post, the OP explained how despite several requests to stop, her sister continues one of her everyday habits which was causing her physical pain.

“My (21 F[emale]) sister (25 F) has been staying with me for a while due to personal issues she’s had.”

“Which is okay, we get along decently, but the problem is that strong smells give me migraines.”

“And migraines suck.”

“Her deodorant is very sweet and very strong, the smell lingers around for hours after applying.”

“When she moved in a mentioned it, like ‘hey by the way, remember that migraine thing? Strong smells trigger it’.”

“And after two migraines I asked if she could apply it on the balcony, or in the bathroom with the door closed, or even in her car / on her way out.”

“She said she’d try to remember, she didn’t.”

“I gently reminded her once more after that.”

“It’s been two weeks since I’ve asked, I’ve been sick a lot, I’ve missed work, and I’ve just been feeling crappy.”

“There are no issues besides this.”

“WIBTA if I told her to stay somewhere else over this?”

“Since my sister uses deodorant in place of showers, I highly doubt she’d be okay with using an unscented one.”

“She’s also fully aware of how sick I’m getting, since we live together and she’s home a lot.”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

The Reddit community agreed that the OP would not be the a**hole if she told her sister she would have to move out if she kept using the deodorant inside the house.

Everyone agreed that the fact that the OP’s sister seemed to ignore her multiple pleas showed that she wasn’t being sensitive or respectful of the OP’s health, the OP had every right to give her an ultimatum.

“NTA, it’s not about the deodorant specifically, it’s about the fact that she’s making no effort to stop triggering your migraines when all it would take is a minimal amount of effort/inconvenience on her part.”- justchillinghbu87

“NTA .”

“And explain to her that it’s not ideal that you’re having to bring this up again but you really do feel strongly that she needs to either change deodorants or she please follows your instructions and that if she cannot do that, that it’s a deal breaker and she’d need to find somewhere else to stay.”

“Explain calmly it’s affecting your health and you’re not prepared for that to keep happening while you’re helping her out, she’s not helping you out.”- Empressario

“NTA.”

“I have the same condition.”

“Go buy her a deodorant that you can tolerate, tell her she can either wear this one or she can find a new place to live.”

“If she can’t respect your health, you need to care for yourself.”- Lia_Delphine

“YWNBTA.”

“She’s staying with you out of your kindness.”

“She’s repaying you by making you sick, causing you pain, making you miss work.”

“You’ve asked her not to do one small thing and she won’t comply.”

“Give her an ultimatum.”

“Get rid of the noxious deodorant or find another place to crash.”- debdnow

“NTA.”

“Be very frank.”

“’Hey, you’.”

“‘Unscented deodorant or you gotta go’.”

“‘You are quite literally making me sick’.”

“‘I love you but I also love my healthy self’.”

“Then tell her to shower immediately and throw it out.”

“If you wake up and smell it again, put her out, and feel fine about that.”

“Everyone makes choices and she gets to choose the scent while you get to choose your health and peace.”- YugeHug

“NTA.”

“You’ve explained it to her and she’s still causing you massive pain.”

“You have options, you could.”

“Wait for her to grab the deodorant in the morning and confront her about it right then.”

“‘I told you that makes me really sick and you keep using it in my house’.”

“Why?”

“‘Don’t you see me vomiting and crying?'”

“‘Do you just not care that you’re hurting me?'”

“‘I’ve told you a couple times, why are you doing this to me?'”

“‘Go into her room and throw out her deodorant and then confront her about continuing to use it when you told her it makes you sick’.”

“‘Buy a deodorant that’s ok for you and hand it to her’.”

“Tell her she has to use this one or move out period’.”

“‘If she opens the other one in your house at all she has to leave’.”

“‘Decide you’ve already done plenty and just ask her to leave for continuing’.”

“Don’t justify or give her options’.”

“Just ask her to leave and don’t let her talk her way out of it.”

“Talk to her one more time hoping that the 8th time is the charm.”

“Tell her she cannot use the deodorant in your house and if you smell it again you will ask her to leave.”

“If you want to be non confrontational, giving her deodorant is the best bet.”

“But you MUST go scorched earth if she opens up her old one again, or grabs a new smelly product.”

“No part of me believes she will not use her deodorant unless you hand her a new one and ideally get rid of the old one.”

“If you just chuck the old one she may get a new one out of spite/defensiveness.”

“This is deodorant for Pete’s sake.”

“This should be really easy to pick a different brand.”

“She just doesn’t care or she doesn’t believe you’re sick.”-highoncatnipbrownies

“NTA.”

“Strong smells are also a migraine trigger for me so I completely sympathize with your frustration.”

“Your sister either needs to compromise or stay somewhere else.”

“Would she be willing to use an unscented deodorant?”- Eldest_of_Five

“NTA.”

“You wouldn’t be kicking her out over deodorant.”

“You’d be kicking her out because she is harming your health, and doesn’t care enough to stop.”-kalequinoa

“‘Hey sis?'”

“‘Your deodorant is giving me terrible migraines’.”

“‘If you want to live here you have to switch brands to something odorless or less strong’.”

“‘Sorry, but my house my rules, and this is giving me literal migraines, so your choice’.”

“Be polite, but be truthful.”

“If you just do it without a talk first, then yeah, YWBTA.”- TheMaStif

“NTA.”

“You already asked her many times.”

“If she doesn’t understand that, or getting a no-odor deodorant, she can apply it elsewhere, in another home where she would live.”- moroco1829

“NTA.”

“But perhaps a more frank discussion instead of the nice conversations you’ve had.”

“She might not understand the seriousness, and may need an ultimatum to make change.”-nakedfolksinger

“NTA.”

“C’mon OP, grow a spine.”

“‘I cannot live with the smell anymore’.”

“‘You either stop using this deodorant and use a different one, or move out’.”

“Your choice’.”

“The End.”- earlysong

“NTA.”

“If your sister can’t respect your rules, she can’t continue stay.”- Skizzybee

“NTA.”

“Tell her to buy a different deodorant or she needs to find another place to stay.”

“Or throw it out and replace it with something you can tolerate.”

“Just tell her hey, I took care of the deodorant/migraine issue so you don’t have to find somewhere else to stay.”- winesis

“NTA.”

“However, I’d advise to talk to her first.”

“As in: ‘I’m sorry I keep harping on about it, but I’ve been so unwell because of the deodorant that I will need you to leave’.”

“Can you make the effort or change deodorants?'”

“‘If not, that’s okay, but I’ll need you to move out by the end of next week so I can function again’.”-AdAccomplished8342

“Nta.”

“She can buy an unscented deodorant while living with you.”- tlf555

“NTA.”

“I think it’s hilarious, or a bit sad, that so many people think it’s OK to try to cover an unpleasant smell with ANOTHER unpleasant smell.”

“Deodorant in particular should be unscented as any odor the deodorant has is totally defeating the purpose of the product!”

“It’s like if someone produced a liquid bath towel made of pure water.”- DistrictEquivalent79

Considering the OP opened up her home to her sister to help her out, the least she could do is put her deodorant on outside, as requested.

Hopefully, being threatened with eviction will knock some sense into her.

Otherwise, she better start looking for a new apartment.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.