We are told, at a very young age, that in order to achieve something we want, we have to work hard for it. This is, for the most part, true.
Obtaining our dream job requires hard work, dedication, and tenacity, which might seem exhausting, but when we take in all we’ve accomplished and what we did to get there, it also seems well worth it.
Of course, some people have it easier than others, knowing someone who might make it possible for them to skip steps and cut corners to get places others worked so hard to make it to.
Then too, people who worked hard to get to enviable positions are frequently approached about helping others get ahead, possibly avoiding some of the work that usually comes with it.
Redditor Trixie-Fox had been making a name for herself in her community providing a much-needed service.
Eventually resulting in the original poster (OP) becoming somewhat in demand.
So much so, that the OP’s mother felt that it would only be fair for the OP to spread the wealth a little and give her sister some of her jobs.
Something the OP flatly refused to do.
Wondering if she was being unfair, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not wanting to give my job offer to my sister?”
The OP explained why she wasn’t terribly excited to share something she earned with her younger sister:
“I (17 F[emale]) and my sister (15 F) both took a babysitting course, which our mom paid for.”
“After this course, I invested about four days in total to write posters, hang them up, and tell everyone around that I would like to babysit children.”
“After a long wait, a family finally contacted me.”
“I have been babysitting for this family for a year now, two to three times a month.”
“I really enjoy it.”
“Gradually, it’s getting around, and I often get inquiries if I have time; I always give out my number.”
“Now, my neighbor asked if I could watch her children, and I immediately said yes because I like to take the extra money as I enjoy buying pretty things or sometimes inviting friends over.”
“So, I told my mom that I got another job offer, and she asked me if I could give the job to my sister since I already have some, but I said no for the reasons mentioned above.”
“Now, my mother and sister are mad at me.”
“Should I give the job to my sister?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to give her babysitting gig to her sister.
Everyone agreed that not only did the OP earn her babysitting gig, but the family who hired her specifically asked for her, so it wasn’t even her decision to make.
“This family is requesting you because you have built a good reputation.”
“It’s like if I hire Tiger Woods to teach me how to golf, and then his brother Lion shows up.”
“NTA.”
“I have no idea what Tiger’s brother’s name is, nor if he even has one.”- VeronicaSawyer8
“NTA.”
“It’s not even appropriate to your clients to do this.”
“They are hiring you, not your sister.”
“They might choose to go with your sister if presented with the option, but maybe not.”
“Offer to show your sister how you found these jobs and let her do the same.”- interlnk
“NTA.”
“As a parent, if I asked for you, it would be because I wanted YOU. I’m sure your neighbor also knows your sister, so it’s not like they didn’t know she was an option.”
“If they didn’t know, that is on your sister for not marketing herself.”
“If you got a ‘grownup/official (for lack of a better term)’ job offer, you wouldn’t be able to kick it to your sister. Why should this be any different?”- Top_Detective4153
“NTA.”
“Your sister wants the same opportunities you’ve worked for, then she can put in the work for them.”
“You put forth the effort. You should be getting the rewards for that effort.”
“Your mother and sister are being ridiculous.”- BulbasaurRanch
“NTA.”
“And the job is not yours to give away–the parents hired YOU based on your reputation.”
“Certainly, in the future, especially if you are busy, you can recommend your sister to new clients.”
“It sounds like she hasn’t put much effort into finding her own clients and is just hoping for your leftovers.”
“When you started, you were 15+ and she was 14 or under.”
“Most parents will be more comfortable with a babysitter who is more mature.”
“That said, she is now approaching the age you were when you started, and soon enough, you will be leaving for college or getting a full-time job.”
“So some parents will certainly be open to having her babysit as she is likely to have a longer relationship with them than you are.”- 1962Michael
“NTA.”
“As a parent, you can’t just send someone else over to babysit their kids – you’d lose all my business!”
“They heard good things about YOU, not your sister.”
“I’d be pissed if you accepted my job then tried to pass it off to someone with less experience.”
“If you do this, you could lose business for yourself.”
“Your mom is the a**hole for wanting your sister to benefit from your hard work.”
“Also, unless you know your sister’s (or anyone who wants a job recommendation) work ethic, don’t recommend them.”
“I’ve done it before for a friend, then they screwed up big time, and it made me look like an idiot.”
“You are known by the company you keep.”- nw826
“NTA.”
“The market rewards initiative and effort, not entitlement.”
“You’ve built your reputation and clientele based on your own merit, and it’s unfair to expect you to hand over what you’ve worked hard for.”
“Your sister has the same opportunity to carve out her own path.”
“Perhaps it’s time she learns that valuable lesson.”
“If you’re willing, you could mentor her on starting her own endeavor.”
“It’s more beneficial in the long run than handing her opportunities on a silver platter.”- Equal-Appearance-583
“No you shouldn’t and tbh I doubt the family would want you, an experienced babysitter who’s 17 years old deciding to ‘give’ their children to your younger sister.”
“Many parents would be uncomfortable having a 15-year-old with no experience in charge of their children.”
“NTA.”- Impossible_Ask_3564
“NTA.”
“If they wanted your sister to babysit, they would have asked her.”
“If your sister wants work, she needs to look for it herself.”- Immediate_Fortune_91
“NTA.”
“Your clientele and your reputation are sacrosanct.”
“As long as you’re not overloaded, people who seek you out are yours.”
“Sending your sister over in your place isn’t what your neighbor is expecting.”
“If you have to reject clients based on scheduling or other concerns, then you could offer your sister’s contact information as an alternative.”
“Until you understand her ability and work ethic though, be careful with recommendations.”
“For future reference: Recommending someone (anyone, not just your sister) to a job (any job, not just this one) is inherently putting your own reputation at stake.”
“If that person flakes out or does a bad job, it will also reflect on you a bit.”- Tony_the-Tigger
“NTA.”
“Your sister is up for a rude awakening when she goes into the real world and realizes that she needs to work for what she wants.”
“Kudos to you for working hard on marketing your services and I hope your sister can learn from that.”- BootsAndBananas
“NTA.”
“You can’t give her the job because they want to hire you, not her.”
“You’re a 17 year old with experience and a good reputation – she’s a 15 year old no one’s ever heard of.”
“If she wants jobs she can do what you did and go earn them.”- KickLiving
“You were hired based on a referral or your overall skill set/age/abilities.”
“I’m not saying your sister is incapable, but it’s not fair to do a bait and switch for someone looking to have their child watched.”
“If they hire a 17 year old, they’ll Expect a 17 year old To show up.”
“Sending a 15-year-old in your place may not fly for the parents and could lose you income.”
“Your sister also should have made an effort.”- amandarae1023
One can imagine that the OP’s mother is worried about her younger daughter being jealous or feeling she isn’t measuring up to the OP.
Even so, she shouldn’t expect the OP just to hand over something she worked so hard to achieve, particularly considering she was specifically requested by this family.
If the OP is as in-demand as she appears to be, there will likely come a time when she won’t be able to accept all babysitting requests.
Opening the door for her to recommend an alternative, which would appear to be an easy task…