Sleep is a necessary part of life. Going without it for long periods can cause a lot of stress to the body and to life in general.
Sometimes people get so tired the body just can’t keep the eyelids open.
This can be an even bigger issue if one has plans and people waiting on them.
Is sleep getting in the way?
Case in point…
Redditor GatesDontKillMe wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for sleeping in on my G[irl]F[riend]’s birthday?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (M[ale] 25) have been dating my GF (F[emale] 22) for about 2 months and she got extremely upset with me after sleeping in on her birthday.”
“We agreed to have her birthday at my house, inviting all her young college friends who I don’t really trust yet and even having her DJ friend come, despite noise concerns.”
“I agreed to it because I wanted her party to be special and she had no other option.”
“I spent 9 hours straight cleaning my house top to bottom in preparation and even made edibles for the party.”
“Last week I had to fly out for 5 days on a business trip.”
“They ended up scheduling it on top of her birthday after I agreed to host it.”
“I fought to rework the entire project schedule and got multiple other people to change plans just so I could be back in time for the day of her birthday and then the party the next day.”
“This trip turned out to be one of the most mentally taxing projects of my career.”
“Both flights in and out were red eyes and the work required me to do everything late at night (as late as 6 am on a few nights).”
“I worked 62 hours and got an average of 4 hours of sleep per night in a 5-day span.”
“One night I only got 1 hour of sleep before working 12 hours.”
“I stayed in sketchy hotels, got an eye infection, and even ran into my bipolar ex that emotionally traumatized me.”
“Needless to say I was drained mentally and physically.”
“I took the day off after I got back so we could hang out on her actual birthday.”
“She spent the entire week with her mom shopping and hanging out.”
“We never agreed on a specific time or even plan on what we were doing.”
“I woke up early to a work call to fix one last thing from the project, said good morning to my girlfriend and we talked about getting coffee at some point.”
“My body just couldn’t physically stay awake anymore and I ended up falling asleep for more than 3 hours.”
“Finally I get up, get her some flowers, and head to her place to take her for her favorite lunch, see a movie she wanted, and get her favorite cake.”
“When I got there, she was extremely upset and crying really hard because I slept too long.”
“When I tried to explain, she dismissed my sleep deprivation because she doesn’t get a good sleep in general and said ‘Welcome to my life!'”
“She didn’t thank me for the flowers, lunch, movie, or cake.”
“I felt like I have been giving 110% to everyone and everything and yet I’m still getting yelled at.”
“It brought back feelings of never being good enough and walking on eggshells that my traumatizing ex gave me.”
“She even told me later that negative reinforcement works better.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“This is a very obvious case of ‘break up ASAP.'”
“You don’t need this in your life.”
“If she is like this after 2 months, she will make your life a nightmare.”
“Find a nice, well-adjusted girl.” ~ Pale-Link-9622
“Can you believe she had the audacity to make that comment!!!”
“OP, sensing the extremes you went to for this ingrate, I anticipate you’ll still allow the party to proceed.”
“I would suggest that shortly thereafter, you simply move on.”
“No explanation is necessary.”
“It will be a total waste of your time.”
“Seek out a woman for your next relationship. Good luck.”
“Oh, GF is TA.”
“OP is NTA.” ~ Tight-Shift5706
“People complain that responses on Reddit jump to ‘break up’ so much, but they ignore that people in good relationships rarely post anything here.”
“By the time someone posts here the relationship is having problems, usually bad ones.”
“In this case, I agree that if she is like this after 2 months they are not right for each other.”
“She needs someone in a 9 to 5 job who can spend the rest of his time worshipping the ground she walks on.”
“OP needs someone that realizes sometimes life just gets in the way of plans and adjustments have to be made.”
“OP is NTA, but the ‘GF’ is the AH.” ~ floridaeng
“Agreed. You don’t see posts like ‘I’m completely content in my healthy relationship and we solve issues in a mature and respectful way. AITA??'”
“Normally I say that everyone has a right to feel upset even if the intention wasn’t to upset them.”
“But this is clearly a scenario in which OP should’ve been offered some grace.”
“I think GF is allowed to feel a little sad that the day had a slow start.”
“But she blew it way out of proportion by taking that out on him and acting like he didn’t care while he literally inconvenienced himself and others to be there… yeah OP, not looking good.”
“She’s assigning too much meaning to you needing an extra couple hours of sleep.”
“She needs to grow up and learn that not everything is gonna go 100% her way and that she should pick her battles better especially when that person is already doing something nice for her.” ~ moth_girl_7
“‘Break up ASAP.'”
“And hopefully before the party.”
“I have a feeling that if the party happens, OP’s place will get trashed, and a bunch of his stuff stolen or destroyed.”
“If the GF has so little respect for OP, I can’t see her friends respecting him either.”
“And if she is complaining to her friends about this morning, some might look for some petty revenge at the party.”
“And that’s on top of OP already not feeling comfortable with all her friends coming over.”
“I’m also guessing that there is a decent chance that the girlfriend will dump OP after she gets her party.” ~ TheShadowCat
“Second this. I don’t like to jump to breakup/divorce in these posts, but this seems like a post that needs this. NTA.”
“Despite only being three years apart, they seem to be at very different mental points in their lives.”
“On top of that, OP’s GF just seems too immature to even be in a relationship.”
“Better to cut them loose.”
“It’s only been 2 months.” ~ AnnaK22
“OP is NTA.”
“The ‘crying really hard’ part is what got me.”
“Who TF cries their eyes out over something so silly?”
“She sounds incredibly immature and emotionally unstable.”
“This is the kind of person who will never be satisfied with anything OP does for her because it can’t possibly live up to her fantasies.” ~ Economics_Low
“Yes, this. It happened to me, it happened to my friends.”
“It is life, it’s life that sometimes you’re absolutely shattered and need a longer nap to function like a human being and pretty much pass out, I’ve been so jetlagged after work trips I couldn’t remember what happened sometimes.”
“If my boyfriend did what she did to me, I’d laugh in his face.”
“Temper tantrum over 3 hours of sleep you needed when you didn’t have set plans; she’s having a laugh.” ~ idasiek
“NTA. If you believe that you did everything in your power and your GF doesn’t care much about you even after you changed so many things just to be able to be back for his birthday.”
“Intelligent people understand that you can plan whatever you want but reality can bring changes at any given moment and it is all about willingness to find the best solution, you tried it and she didn’t appreciate it at all.”
“You have to figure out if she is someone that you really want in your life or not – you choose who you build relationships with so choose wisely.” ~ forgeris
“NTA. Even if she’s young and used to the birthday madness, it sounds like her life ‘may have been’ it’s time to grow up.”
“You haven’t been together long enough for this drama.”
“You did what you could.”
“Her expectations weren’t met.”
“It sounds like an honest adult conversation wasn’t possible.”
“You should probably move on.” ~ ladypi95
“NTA. A good partner would be empathetic.”
“She seems to be very selfish.”
“Have a conversation about how you feel and your boundaries and if she doesn’t respond with compromise then it’s time to leave the relationship as that’s not a good sign for a long-term or marriage.” ~ ListPlenty6014
“NTA. Putting real life before a birthday is normal adulting.”
“It’s pretty narcissistic to turn a birthday into a day that revolves entirely around the person having it.”
“Sounds like she made a week out of it.” ~ maj0rdisappointment
“Time for dumpies. NTA.”
“In my opinion, when anyone cares that much about their birthday, it’s a big ol red flag.”
“I think mature people can enjoy their birthdays of course but they won’t mind if they have to celebrate it a day or two late/early.”
“It’s just another silly day in our silly lives.” ~ bebepothos
“Ah, the plight of dating a 22-year-old.”
“Yeah, it’s silly, you did your best. NTA.” ~ RainyDayProse
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
You didn’t blow off her entire birthday.
It may be time to do some relationship evaluation.
Get some sleep!