When we think of best friends, we think of unconditional love and being best friends with them for the rest of our lives.
When they do something to betray us, it’s honestly a betrayal like no other, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Mundane-Alarm-5684 thought that her childhood best friend would be a best friend forever, and she was excited for her best friend’s child’s first birthday.
But when she discovered her best friend stole her credit card information to pay for an expensive birthday party for the one-year-old, the Original Poster (OP) was shocked.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for blocking my childhood best friend after she tried to make me pay for the catering at her son’s first birthday?”
The OP had been best friends with Anna forever.
“So here’s the thing—me (28 Female) and Anna (28 Female) have been best friends since forever. Like, we grew up together, went through school, first breakups, everything.”
“Naturally, when she had her baby, I was thrilled for her. I even helped plan the baby shower and got super involved in her life as a new mom.”
But then Anna started acting weird while planning her child’s first birthday party.
“But recently, things have gotten weird.”
“Anna’s son turned one last weekend, and she wanted to throw a huge party. I’m talking over-the-top: rented venue, professional catering, decorations, the whole shebang.”
“Now, I thought we were just going to have a nice little family-and-friends thing, but nope, Anna had a vision. Fine, no biggie. I figured she could do whatever made her happy for her son’s big day.”
“Fast forward to a week before the party. Anna starts hinting that she’s ‘a little stressed’ about costs and how ‘tight things are right now.'”
“I get it, having a baby is expensive, but she kept bringing it up in every conversation. I offered to help with decorations or pick up some snacks, but she waved it off, saying she had everything under control.”
Then Anna revealed what was going on.
“The day of the party comes, and it’s chaos, balloons everywhere, a bouncy house, and tons of people I didn’t even know. I show up early to help set up, and Anna’s running around like a headless chicken.”
“Then, as we’re putting out the decorations, she casually says, ‘Oh, by the way, I put the catering on your card.'”
“I hadn’t even seen a catering bill, let alone agreed to pay for one. ‘Uh, what do you mean you put it on my card?’ I asked, trying to stay calm.”
“She looked at me like I was being dramatic and goes, ‘Yeah, you know I’ve been struggling. I figured you wouldn’t mind covering it, and I’ll pay you back later.'”
“Excuse me?!”
The OP was shocked and disgusted.
“First of all, I never once said she could use my card, and second, I had no clue how much this catering even cost.”
“When I asked, she shrugged and said, ‘Only about 500 dollars. It’s not a big deal.'”
“Five hundred dollars?! For food I didn’t even order or agree to pay for?!”
“I told her no way. I wasn’t paying for something she never asked permission for, and frankly, I didn’t have that kind of money just lying around.”
“She acted all shocked and hurt, saying I was being selfish and how it was her son’s first birthday. As if I’m supposed to go into debt for a party I didn’t even throw!”
“We had a massive argument in front of some of her other friends, and I ended up leaving early.”
Anna tried to push the blame onto the OP.
“Later that night, she blew up my phone with texts saying I ruined her son’s day, that I was being a terrible friend, and how I didn’t understand how hard things are for her right now.”
“I just couldn’t believe the audacity. After everything, I blocked her. I couldn’t deal with the guilt-tripping, especially over something so ridiculous.”
“Now, some mutual friends have reached out, saying I was too harsh and that I should’ve just helped her out because ‘she’s struggling.'”
“But I feel like she crossed a line. You don’t just throw someone’s money into your plans without asking them, right?”
“AITAH for blocking her? Or did I overreact?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some were appalled by how the ex-friend had the OP’s card information.
“Why would your friend have your card to begin with? You might want to check all your transactions to make sure she didn’t use it previously without you knowing. Might also want to ask credit card company for a new card.” – Hawaiianstylin808
“Review your credit report asap and get new cards asap. She’s not your friend, she’s a thief.” – NickelPickle2018
“NTA. That’s fraud…”
“Also if one is ‘struggling,’ one doesn’t spend $500 on a one-year-old’s birthday party.”
“Your former friend is ridiculous.” – PetrogradSwe
“You need to cancel that card and get a new one. If I were you, I’d also freeze my credit for the moment. If she does this, she’d also likely justify to herself why it’d be okay to open up new lines of credit in your name that she can make use of.”
“She is not your friend, she is a thief who sees you as someone to be used. I’m sorry, but she really needs to experience the consequences that come with committing fraud and stealing.”
“Anyone who disagrees can front her the money for bail and pay her legal fees, or, maybe they can pay the restitution she is going to owe to your credit card company and, by paying it, they can all hope they can make it go away. Not your problem whether they do or don’t.”
“Both she and those who support her thievery, should be disappearing from your life, in any case.”
“NTA.” – Odd-Artist-2595
Others agreed and completely understood why the OP was upset.
“NTA for blocking your friend after she used your card without permission. That’s a huge violation of trust, and it’s understandable why you’d feel hurt and betrayed. Anna crossed a serious line by charging $500 to your card without asking, and her reaction when confronted only made things worse.”
“Even if she’s struggling financially, that doesn’t justify her actions, and you’re not responsible for covering the costs of her son’s birthday. Blocking her after that level of disrespect is a reasonable response to protect yourself from further boundary violations. You didn’t overreact.” – tamij1313
“NTA. Anna completely crossed a line by putting the catering on your card without asking. $500 is a lot of money, and it’s unfair for her to assume you’d just cover it.”
“You were right to set boundaries, especially when she tried to guilt-trip you after the fact. You’re not responsible for funding her son’s party.” – Katiescanlon_
“When the OP offered help, that would have been the time to ask her if she could help cover the costs.”
“Don’t get me wrong, it was a huge ask, even if done the right way. What Anna did was a crime.”
“OP, this friendship is over. She stole your card and submitted it for the payment. You don’t know how she got it or what else she charged.”
“There is no coming back from that, and any friends who say different probably need to check THEIR credit card statements.” – Vegetable-Cod-2340
“NTA. She stole from you. Stole. From. You. There’s no good reason for this behavior. Dispute the charges with your credit card company. Tell them your friend used your card by mistake.”
“She is NOT struggling. Struggling is working, and still not save or cover living expenses. The party was for her, not a one-year-old baby.”
“I’m glad you cut her off. If anyone asks you about it, tell them the truth, ‘She stole 500 dollars from me to pay for the catering at her one-year-old’s birthday party.'”
“If she gets blowback, it’s not your problem. She shouldn’t have done the thing that would cause her embarrassment if she didn’t want to be humiliated. Don’t further enable her by making up a more palatable version.”
“I’m sorry your friend betrayed you like this. Nothing about her behavior is normal.” – Ok-Try-857
The OP soon shared an update in a second post, in which her ex-best friend refused to accept accountability.
“I never expected this to blow up; thank you all for your advice.”
“I have already filed a dispute with my credit card company. I also told her parents about the incident, and they were shocked by her behavior. They said they would talk to her.”
“I figured they already did because after I told them what happened, she stormed over to my house, ranting about why I was making such a big deal by telling her parents and reminding me that we’ve been best friends who literally grew up together.”
“I explained where she went wrong, but instead of taking accountability, she accused me of being selfish. She clearly isn’t in the right mind.”
“I don’t know if she’s experiencing postpartum issues, but I’m not going to tolerate this kind of treatment. I also told her that if she didn’t stop harassing me over a problem she created, I would file a restraining order.”
“As for the money she used, I’ve decided to follow your advice and press charges so she can (hopefully) learn her lesson. Not only was my trust shattered, but so was my heart.”
In a second update post, the OP took additional steps to protect herself and her money.
“I really appreciate all your kind words. I have already sorted out everything with my bank and they told me the process would be seven to ten business days.”
“I also requested a credit card change because I don’t know if she still has access to my card. She’s still trying to prove a point on how I am a bad friend to her. I changed all my locks because she had a key to my house as she was my childhood best friend after all, and I shared almost everything with her.”
“My siblings and parents all went to my house after they heard what happened to keep an eye on me. I am now considering moving to another city because of what happened. Some of our mutual friends also apologized to me for defending her; apparently, she told our friends that the catering was my idea and that she only spent $100 for it using my card. They didn’t know it was $500 until one of them saw the post on Reddit.”
“Anna also saw the post and went berserk because she said I was ruining her image when I didn’t even mention her full name, and there are literally millions of Anna in the world.”
“And for everyone asking how she got a hold of my card, like I said in my previous post, I was asking myself the same question. It might be that she was snooping through my things while I wasn’t paying attention, or it might be when I was babysitting for her so she could get some rest. I really don’t know, and she won’t say as to how she got my credit card as well because she felt like she doesn’t have to explain anything because we are ‘best friends.'”
“I will be taking this to court since things already got out of hand, and she resulted in threatening me. I never expected that our 20+ years of friendship would end like this, my heart is broken and my mental health is unstable right now and she’s one of the reasons why.”
“Thank you again, everyone, for all of your kind words and advice.She won’t stop proving her point, so I filed a restraining order. My siblings and parents are also doing their utmost best to help me get through this.”
The subReddit was collectively shocked that the OP’s ex-best friend not only thought this was a good idea but that she did not feel like she needed to apologize for her behavior.
Fortunately, the OP was making moves to protect herself, and hopefully, her ex-best friend would learn enough from this to never try to do this to someone else again.