Everyone has that one family member that they are less than excited to reunite with.
A family member who seems determined to cause drama wherever they go, no matter who might be around.
Since they are “family”, more often than not we let their bad behavior slide, or at the very least tolerate it, so as not to cause any further drama.
However, everyone has their limits.
The sister-in-law (SIL) of a recent Redditor was anything but sympathetic when her daughter went through a very painful experience.
Resulting in the original poster (OP) telling her to keep her mouth shut, or else stay away from family gatherings.
The OP’s SIL initially obliged this request, only to break her promise in abundance a short while later.
Leaving the OP no other choice but to kick her out of a social gathering.
Wondering if she overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my Sister-In-Law to get out of my daughter’s baby shower?”
The OP explained why she became compelled to kick her SIL out of her house.
“I (47 F[emale]) have a daughter (25).”
“She is currently 26 weeks pregnant with her second child (a girl).”
“Her first child, Phillip, was stillborn two years ago at 38 weeks (a little boy).”
“When she lost him, she asked us to take apart the nursery before she got home and ‘get rid of’ the baby equipment (she saved his baby book, his ultrasound photos, and the outfit she planned to bring him home in, along with a lock of his hair in a memory box).”
“She’d had a baby shower for Phillip when she was pregnant, but her grief around his death was so strong that she couldn’t handle having the nursery and baby things.”
“We offered to return the baby shower gifts to the givers, most kindly refused and asked us to donate the items… except my husband’s sister, Rachel (43).”
“She made a HUGE deal out of my daughter being ‘hysterical’ and constantly, loudly talked about how ‘ridiculous’ it was to take apart the nursery.”
“We kept her away from my daughter and only allowed her to return to family functions when she promised to stop bringing it up.”
“We recently held a baby shower for my daughter’s new baby girl.”
“Rachel (along with the rest of my husband’s female relatives) was invited.”
“She kept making quiet remarks to everyone that we were ‘tacky’ for having a baby shower for a second child, but since she didn’t get near my daughter, I ignored it.”
“When my daughter began opening gifts, it hit the fan.”
“She loudly said ‘if you hadn’t torn Phillip’s nursery apart and gotten rid of everything, you wouldn’t be here begging for presents for this baby’.”
“My daughter froze and just stared off into space.”
“Tears started running down her face.”
“I just said ‘Rachel, please leave’.”
“She refused and started arguing with me.”
“I took her present out of the pile, walked to the door, and threw it out.”
“I yelled ‘Get out, NOW!!!’ and my husband came into the room and asked what happened.”
“His mom told him and he physically picked up his sister and put her down outside the door.”
“Now the family is divided over whether I should’ve yelled at her to get out and thrown her present.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community overwhelmingly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for kicking Rachel out of her daughter’s baby shower.
Everyone agreed that Rachel’s behavior bordered on cruel, with many feeling that, if anything, the OP wasn’t hard enough on her.
“NTA.”
“If anything, you were overly generous by trying to ignore her cruel, thoughtless remarks prior to the final horrific outburst.”
“Your daughter’s welfare was your priority and must remain so.”
“I can’t imagine how heartbreaking the loss of her baby was and to reminded of that so callously is unbelievable.”
“Your SIL took a joyous occasion; one full of hope and promise, and poured acid all over it.”
“You and your husband both should be commended for your restraint.”
“I hope your daughter enjoys a healthy pregnancy and that your granddaughter brings you all much joy.”- Pleasant_Test_6088
“NTA.”
“Honestly, if she had done and said that in front of my daughter, I’d have picked her up myself and tossed her a** in the street and probably would have punched her a few times.”
“Also, she’s a wretched person.”
“I’d cut all contact with her.”- Leviosapatronis
“NTA.”
“And since Rachel has proven she can’t keep her toxic views to herself, I certainly hope she’s banned from family functions for many, many years.”
“What is this woman’s problem?”
“Why was she so outraged by dismantling the nursery and returning the gifts in the first place?”
“Has she always been such a b*tch?”
“The remark about ‘begging’ for more gifts sure says this is about more than the nursery and gifts.”
“Is she jealous of your daughter?”
“I hope your daughter was able to get over that unwarranted attack quickly, and I hope she has an uneventful pregnancy and that she and her new baby are healthy and happy.”- 13surgeries
“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“I had a stillborn baby boy 37 years ago and still to this day, especially in August when I lost him, when I think about him I still grieve.”
“He was my first baby and I went on to have four more kids but you just never really get over the loss.”
“NTA.”- no_snow_for_me
“Who cares about the rest of the family.”
“What counts is your daughter and your husband.”
“NTA.”
“Don’t invite Rachel anymore.”- hadMcDofordinner
“NTA.”
“I commend your restraint because SIL needed to be laid the f*ck out.”
“I don’t know or care what’s wrong with her, but clearly, she has no sense of compassion, empathy, or decency.”
“What disgusting and cruel behavior.”
“It’s well past time to cut her out and off from your family.”
“I’m sorry about your daughter’s loss and even more so that she’s had to deal with such a vile excuse for a human being on top of it.”- Anxious-Routine-5526
“I am sorry for your daughter’s loss, and hope that all goes well with this pregnancy.”
“NTA.”
“You were trying to protect your daughter from a horrible/miserable old cow.”
“Aka Rachel.”
“That’s what good parents do!”- PielSucker69
“How is the family ‘divided’ about this?”
“What she said was totally unacceptable and you 100% did the right thing by asking her to leave.”
“She is a piece of slug shit to argue it.”
“Thankfully Your husband also did the right thing by physically removing her.”
“NTA don’t ever invite her to anything again.”- bygeez
“NTA.”
If anyone has the gall to be divided over this, then they are the dregs in the bottom of the barrel of low character.”
“My God.”
“I don’t even know you, and I’d have happily helped chuck her out with the trash.”
“You need to cut contact.”
“Completely go NC.”
“That woman is vicious and pure poison.”
“Tell any family who tries to argue with them that if they have a problem with you throwing out a hag who viciously scolded your daughter for taking down the nursery of her DEAD CHILD, then you are going to have a problem with them.”
“Say that they need to tell you, right now, if they believe what she said to your daughter was acceptable, because you don’t want anyone so vile anywhere near you or your daughter.”
“Right and wrong isn’t hard to figure out here.”- Shdfx1
The OP later returned with an update, sharing that the rest of their family had come to a mutual decision regarding Rachel:
“My husband and I gave a brief summary of what happened, backed up by witnesses.”
“The relatives that couldn’t make the shower are now aware of what happened.”
“The family consensus is that Rachel is unequivocally to blame and should not be allowed to be around my daughters or their kids.”
“Other people in the family brought up issues they’ve had with her in the past along similar lines (especially involving pregnancy and kids).”
“Rachel will no longer be included in large family gatherings.”
“Those who want to continue a relationship with her will do so on their own, and have been informed that advocating for Rachel to be forgiven and included or feeding her information about me, my husband, or our kids and grandchildren will result in us going no contact with them as well.”
“My mother-in-law has apologized profusely for making the remarks about being sad that she won’t have ‘both of her children’ under her roof for the holidays anymore.”
“We have accepted her apology because her feelings are valid and this is sad for her.”
“Thank you so much for all your support.”
“I will update when my granddaughter is born, if ya’ll would like?”
It’s more than a little shocking that Rachel didn’t seem to have even the slightest bit of sympathy that her niece lost a child.
Only a parent who knows what it is to lose a child has any right to have an opinion on these matters.