We’ve all been through heartbreak before, so we can all attest to how terrible it is to try to move on and start fresh.
But trying to heal shouldn’t inconvenience the people around us, pointed out the members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor DJ_maecyy just got married and was excited to leave on her honeymoon trip with her husband, right around the same time that her younger sister got her heart broken by her long-term boyfriend.
When her sister tried to come along on her honeymoon trip to “heal,” the Original Poster (OP) was shocked at her entitlement.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for refusing to let my sister use my honeymoon as her ‘healing trip’ after she got dumped?”
The OP was counting down the seconds until she could leave for her dream honeymoon.
“My (30 Female) husband (31 Male) and I just got married last month and planned a dream honeymoon two weeks in Greece.”
“It’s going to be just the two of us, relaxing, exploring, and enjoying our time as newlyweds. Flights, hotels, excursions are all booked and paid for.”
Unfortunately, the OP’s sister did not have the same joys to look forward to.
“My sister (26 Female) was supposed to move in with her boyfriend around the same time.”
“Unfortunately for her (and I mean unfortunately in the least sympathetic way possible), he dumped her two weeks before the move.”
“She was devastated, and my family went into full ‘protect and coddle’ mode.”
“At first, I was super supportive, listened to her vent, helped her pack up her stuff, and even let her crash at our place for a few days.”
The OP was shocked when her sister told her what she wanted to do next.
“But then, she dropped a bomb: She wanted to come with us on our honeymoon because she ‘couldn’t handle being alone right now’ and needed a ‘healing getaway.'”
“My mom backed her up, saying we should ‘be there for family’ and that we could ‘always go on another trip.'”
“I laughed, thinking it was a joke. I love my sister, but my honeymoon is NOT her rebound retreat.”
“But it wasn’t a joke. She fully expected me to let her tag along on what was supposed to be our romantic getaway.”
“I told her absolutely not and have not given her the itinerary.”
The OP was shocked by how her sister and mom teamed up against her.
“She cried, called me selfish, and my mom guilt-tripped me about how she’s ‘in a really dark place.'”
“Now, both my mom and sister are making me feel like I’m heartless for not making ‘a small sacrifice’ for family.”
“My honeymoon is meant for my husband and me to enjoy as newlyweds, not to be my sister’s emotional support trip. I get that she’s hurting, but that doesn’t mean she gets to hijack our special time. If she needs a healing getaway, my mom can take her instead.”
“I’m not heartless for prioritizing my marriage; I’m just setting boundaries!”
“Am I so wrong for refusing to turn my honeymoon into my sister’s breakup recovery trip?”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that this was her honeymoon and time to celebrate her marriage.
“NTA. You are spending time with your husband. You don’t have time to spend with her on a trip. That would clearly change the entire dynamic.”
“If your mom feels she needs a healing getaway and to not be alone so much, she should go on a trip with her. And you can see her when you get back.” – Super-Freedom8500
“NTA, but have a backbone and tell your mum she is heartless for supporting your sister in coming on a HONEYMOON!”
“Tell your mum she can take her to somewhere else! And they can have a girls’ trip!”
“I think your sister is doing it on purpose because she is jealous and wants to ruin your trip!”
“Don’t you dare give them an itinerary. Or if you have shown it. Then change it!! Because she will turn up to surprise you!. Change dates also.” – Strong_Storm_2167
“NTA, I honestly really hate the ‘be there for family’ line. It’s so manipulative and only ever works one way. Let her fund her own trip with her own money on her own time.” – berrywarrior
“Be petty and share all the wrong information. Let’s say the honeymoon starts with a flight to Santorini. You tell them your flight is into Corfu. Your planning on flying back from Mykonos, you tell them Santorini. Just mess everything up.”
“Then when the trip starts, you block all numbers but your husband’s because of ‘roaming issues’ and ‘cell coverage’ issues with your carrier.”
“If your family is respectful, nothing will happen but peace and quiet. If not, your sister can have some healing retreat on her own.” – angeldawns
“Imagine the complaints the OP and her husband will have to put up with because it’s their honeymoon! ‘You’re being too affectionate with each other, don’t you know I’m heartbroken?!'”
“H**l no! OP, don’t take her! She will poison your trip and make it all about her pity party.”
“Why doesn’t she go live with your mom? Ask your mother why she isn’t there for her family. She expects to coddle one daughter with the cost of happiness of the other.” – Professional-Ice4446
Others agreed and openly questioned the OP’s sister’s and mom’s logic.
“How is she supposed to heal by being a third wheel to a couple on honeymoon when the reason for her misery is her break up? Wouldn’t seeing a happy couple being romantic and lovey dovey trigger her sour memories of break up?”
“She is just jealous that she is single and her sister got married and is going on honeymoon. She doesn’t need healing, she just wants to ruin OP’s honeymoon.” – lonewolf369963
“I’m sure the OP’s husband would be expected to stay elsewhere while OP and her sister are supposed to be pampered while they b***h about how horrible men are!” – NotTodayPsycho
“Tell them your husband plans to spend the entire trip b**ging you like a screen door in a storm, so you don’t think your sister being around for that would make her feel any better about getting dumped anyway.” – flippysquid
“Please put on your most shocked and concerned face, and tell them:”
“‘It’s our honeymoon. We won’t be leaving our room. There’s nowhere lonelier than sitting at breakfast while your sister is having the time of her life, consummating her marriage.'”
“‘That’s the most insensitive idea you’ve ever had. If sis needs a holiday, the last people in the world to spend it with is virile newlyweds. Are you out of your mind?!'” – Cardabella
“NTA. Time to tell her to move the h**l in with your parents. They are all insane.” – jubangyeonghon
Some urged the OP’s mom to take her daughter on a trip instead of offloading it onto the OP.
“Oh h**l no!! Let mom take her on a healing trip. Do not share your itineraries or dates/times for anything. You will have an elephant of a party crasher if you do.”
“Radio silence and NTA!!” – Inside_Major_8072
“Suggest, ‘Watching you and your husband get all loved up and being happy’ is not going to help mend her broken heart.”
“If your mother is feeling so sorry for her, she should go away with her instead.”
“I’ll give you a laugh. I was 50 last year, so my family decided to club together and put some money into a gift for me. The gift was cash, so I could book flights for myself and my wife, and two grown-up kids to go and visit my sister who lives in Spain, in a two bed apartment.”
“That was it, they decided what I should do with my time, and in that case, money, as an adult. They thought, well, mainly my mother thought it would be lovely to go and do that.”
“I really enjoy the guitar I bought instead. Enjoy your honeymoon, not her rebound trip.” – ShowmasterQMHTH
“NTA. If your mom is so worried, she can take your sis on a trip herself. A honeymoon is not a group therapy retreat… But then your mom wouldn’t get a two-week break. That’s your mom’s real plan, to get the sister far away to get a break from the situation. Totally selfish of her.” – CemeteryDweller7719
“Your mom can book her own ‘healing trip’ if she’s so concerned. Your honeymoon isn’t a family free-for-all. NTA.” – Positive_Cloud_5362
“Let mom take her on a recovery trip. This honeymoon is for you and your husband, and that’s it. Go have fun guilt-free. NTA a million times over.” – Frequent_Couple5498
Everyone could understand going through something and experiencing a particularly tough heartbreak, but the sister’s healing journey shouldn’t happen on the OP’s dime or during her honeymoon.
There were countless other ways that the sister could begin to heal, like pursuing a new hobby, creating a staycation for herself and going to the spa, or even going on a girls’ trip with her mother.
The last thing she needed was to be the third wheel to happy newlyweds, and the last thing the newlyweds needed was a shadow.