Everyone has at one point told a little white lie, or at least what they thought was a little white lie, to get out of something.
However, when some people’s dishonesty is discovered, they often find themselves in far worse trouble than they thought their tiny fib could ever get them in.
Sometimes, owing to the fact that some people have rather skewed views of what constitutes a “little white lie.”
Some people even resort to luring others into their deceit, finding themselves facing consequences with even more people.
The boyfriend of Redditor AgitatedAttention662 recently lied to his boss to avoid work.
Fearing his ruse might not work, however, he begged the original poster (OP) to go along with him.
Horrified by the lie he told, the OP flatly refused to be a party to it.
After being called uptight by their boyfriend for their reaction, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for refusing to lie to my boyfriend’s boss after he asked me to play his ‘dead sister’ on the phone?”
The OP explained why they were not remotely interested in helping their boyfriend get out of a pickle with their boss:
“So I’ve been dating my boyfriend Jake, for about 6 months.”
“He’s fun but also chaotic.”
“He sent me a message A few days ago, saying he called in sick to work, but he had already used all his sick days.”
“To get out of it, he went to the extent of tell his boss that his sister died.”
“I was horrified, and he casually brushed it off like it was no big deal.”
“The next thing he asked me to do was something insane, pretend to be his sister’s grieving friend on the phone with his boss.”
“He wanted me to cry and say I was helping the family plan the funeral.”
“I didn’t even have to think twice, I refused immediately.”
“I told him it was dishonest, disrespectful, and if his boss finds out, it could wreck his career.”
“He called me uptight and said I wasn’t ‘ride or die’.”
“I told him if he needs someone to lie for him, he’s dating the wrong person.”
“Now he’s barely speaking to me, and some of our mutual friends are saying I should’ve just helped and that I’m being ‘morally superior’.”
“I get that this wasn’t my problem, but I also don’t want to be dragged into a lie that big.”
“AITA for refusing?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to play along with their boyfriend’s lie.
Everyone agreed that the OP did exactly the right thing. Many urged the OP to question how good an idea it was for the OP to stay in this relationship, as seeing her boyfriend had no trouble being dishonest, who knew how honest he had been to the OP in their relationship:
“NTA.”
“Side note- is this really the kind of man you want to date?”
“How could you trust him?”
“If he lied to his boss that easy, imagine how easily he’s been lying to you.”– BlondDee1970
“NTA.”
“This guy is nuts.”
“If you are out of sick days, you just take off the day and don’t get paid.”
“You don’t concoct an elaborate lie designed to take advantage of people having empathy.”
“That sh*t is sociopathic.”- destro23
“NTA.”
“You are morally superior.”
“Don’t say it like it’s a bad thing.”- South_Industry_1953
“NTA.”
“This is not just ‘chaotic’ behavior, this is unhinged.”
“Dump this guy, it will not get better, you will be drawn in to more and more bizarre lies and weird plots.”
“All this because he doesn’t want to show up for work?”
“Sounds like he has a LOT of growing up to do.”
“Have him do it without you as an accomplice.”- MarionberryPlus8474
“NTA.”
“Find a bf that doesn’t require you to lie for them.”
“Maybe one who manages to just show up at their job.”- ScarletNotThatOne
“NTA.”
“He is.”
“Break up.”
“He’s a liar and a manipulator.”
“Who is he going to lie to next?”
“You?”
“The IRS?”
“His friends say about you?”
“His parents?”- Spare_Ad5009
“NTA.”
“That’s really creepy, and he went way too far with this.”
“‘Maybe I’m dating the wrong person,’ maybe you are.”
“Better to learn 6 months in than 6 years in.”- SockMaster9273
“He doesn’t even sound old enough to have a job, with this attitude.”
“WTF.”
“NTA at all, ever, in any universe.”- Aelle29
“NTA.”
“Best advice I ever encountered on how to be a manager was ‘Never ask your employees to lie for you’.”
“‘When you tell your employees to lie for you, you are also telling them it is OK for them to lie To you’.”
“‘You are telling your employees that you don’t value honesty and integrity’.”
“This applies to personal relationships too.”
‘If you truly value honesty and integrity, he’s not the guy for you.”- Top-Entertainer2546
“NTA.”
“Your boyfriend is showing dark triad behaviors.”
“Look it up if you don’t know what that is.”- the_elephant_stan
“NTA.”
“I wouldn’t describe this as ‘chaotic’, this is cold.”
“Claiming that his sister died so that he could get out of A DAY of work is insane.”
“Not only was it incredibly disrespectful, but he tried to rope you into it in order to build the lie.”
“How far does he plan on taking this lie?”
“Who else is he going to involve?”
“And what is it that he so desperately needed to do that the death of a close family member was a necessary excuse?”
“Was he hanging out with friends?”
“Sick?”
“Hungover?”
“If he lies like this to get out of work, what will he come up with in your relationship?”-INK_ognito_
“NTA.”
“I might have helped, but that’s a really uncomfortable position to be put in and lie to tell.”
“He certainly has no right to be mad.”
“He’s probably going to be doing this to you your whole relationship- to get out of events, family stuff, other responsibilities.”
“Something to consider.”- Kittykatcha
“NTA.”
“And if you didn’t cringe and plan how to dump him after saying you’re not ‘ride or die’ then you’re crazy.”- M3rcury21
“NTA.”
“Not exactly a situation I’d ‘ride or die’ for either.”
“Pretty f*cked up.”- AlternativeCraft8905
“This guy is a chaos goblin.”
“NTA.”- lkvwfurry
“Let me get this straight.”
“He used all his sick days, which was how many (my guess is he wasn’t ‘sick’ then either), and now wants to get bereavement pay so he can miss more work because he doesn’t want to work.”
“What kind of husband and father will he be?”
“Will he be the kind of role model you want your children to emulate?”
“You know the answer, and you know what you need to do with this relationship.”
“NTA.”- Classic_Might_5948
“NTA and run, girl.”
“He will be out of work soon and need your support.”
“Don’t surround yourself with chaos unless you enjoy chaos.”
“This person is 1 step away from hobosexual territory.”- FairyFartDaydreams
“NTA.”
“There is nothing wrong with being morally superior.”
“You should not have to ditch your morals because someone else doesn’t have them.”-ImaginaryStandard293
“NTA.”
“If he were a decent person, he’d never have lied like that to is employer, much expected you to help him cover up his lies with your own.”- SavingsRhubarb8746
“NTA.”
“But you are to yourself for convincing yourself in your head that he’s a good guy.”
“He just showed you his true colors and what he actually thinks of you.”
“When will his true colors show you that this.”
“He’s fun but a but also chaotic.”
“Is what you have created in your head about him and isn’t really him.”
“Time to wise up, OP.”
“He might be good looking but is it worth it?”- slap-a-frap
“Own it -you almost did already when you said he was dating the wrong person because you’re not a willing liar.”
“Yes, I guess I am morally superior to a bunch of lying, job-dodging flakes.”
“Yes, I have ethical standards, I have practical standards, I do have moral standards, and apparently you guys don’t.”
“Then break up.”
“NTA, girl, and keep running with this – you’ll find a good man this way.”
“Lowering your standards will never get you a better man.”
“I could also ask, why are you hanging out in the sewers with this one anyway?”- Mandaravan
The OP later returned with an update, sharing where things currently stood in their relationship:
“Yup, dumping him today.”
It’s one thing to fib to cover yourself.
It’s quite another to lie about the death of a family member to get out of simply going to work and force other people to help you get away with it.
As many noted, the OP’s now ex-boyfriend was right about one thing.
They were “morally superior” and will hopefully find a new partner who is also.