When sharing a home with a roommate, most things in shared spaces, such as the kitchen and bathroom, are generally considered communal.
Even so, it’s still a good idea to ask before using or partaking in certain things,
Namely, food and cosmetics that might be valuable or expensive.
As the owners of these items are generally not thrilled to find them in suddenly short supply, with only one possible culprit.
Redditor DragonfruitFar6843 began to notice that a rather expensive item of his was going on empty.
When the original poster (OP) confronted his roommate about this, his roommate was honest, not seeing there being any real issue.
When the OP explained why he found this to be a big deal, his roommate went on to call him “dramatic” and “selfish.”
Wondering if this was the case, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for asking my roommate to stop using my expensive shampoo?”
The OP explained why he took issue with his roommate using his shampoo without permission:
“I (19 M[ale]) share an apartment with my roommate (20 M).”
“We get along fine, but recently I noticed my shampoo bottles emptying way faster than they should.”
“It’s not just any shampoo, I have a scalp condition, so I buy a specific medicated brand that costs like 25€ a bottle.”
“Last week I caught him using it in the shower.”
“I asked him about it and he said, ‘Bro, it’s just shampoo, calm down’.”
“I told him that it’s not ‘just shampoo’, it’s literally prescribed for my scalp and also really expensive.”
“He rolled his eyes and said I was being dramatic, and that if I don’t want him to use it, I should ‘hide it’.”
“I feel like he should respect my stuff without me needing to hide it.”
“I told him to buy his own, but now he’s being passive-aggressive and telling mutual friends I’m “’selfish over soap’.”
“So, AITA for asking my roommate not to use my shampoo?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for telling his roommate to stop using his shampoo.
Everyone agreed that the OP had every right to put his roommate in his place, with many feeling he should take his roommate’s advice and hide his shampoo to stop his roommate from using it:
“NTA.”
“And if this comes up with mutual friends, tell them he’s using your prescription shampoo that you have to get your doctor to order, and it’s really gross that not only is he using your expensive prescription, he’s pretending this is a conflict over a cheap bar of Ivory when telling them about it.”-KaliTheBlaze
“NTA.”
“But I would still hide your shampoo.”
“And at renewal I’d consider a more conscientious roommate.”- lanetrain6
“NTA.”
“He can call it ‘just soap’, so let him use dish soap then.”
“Let’s see how that goes for his scalp.”
“People like this only understand boundaries when they’re forced to.”- Traditional-Swan-130
“NTA.”
“Step 1) keep this bottle. when it’s empty put something f**ked up in it.”
“Mayonnaise or toothpaste.”
“Step 2) let him use it and watch him freak out.”
“OR, keep it in your room.”
“Lol.”- vixenstarlet1949
“NTA.”
“But since he can’t be trusted, hide your shampoo.”
“It’s a lose-lose sitch for you, though.”
“You hide it, he calls you dramatic.”
“You don’t hide it, he continues to use it cuz you’re apparently responsible for his behavior.”-Oldgamerlady
“NTA.”
“You need to tell your mutuals what he’s stealing is medicated soap.”
“Medication.”
“Medical item.”
“Not. For. Him.”
“And just ask if they’d let their friends grab a pain pill when they run out of Tylenol.”-Throwway_queer
“NTA.”
“This is why I encourage college students and people who share apartments to have lockable trunks in their dorm/bed rooms.”- Belaani52
‘NTA.”
“You’re not in a relationship where you share toiletries.”- bluetinycar
“NTA.”
“And this is such a red flag.”
“Your roommate will probably use up other stuff of yours so I would try to keep it all in your room as much as possible until the lease is up.”
“What an entitled AH.”- meeps1142
“You’re absolutely NTA, but he’s definitely not going to stop using it unless you keep it away from him.”- Kathrynlena
“NTA.”
“He is.”
“So, when you get the next bottle, tell him that his share is 12.50 Euros.”
“My guess is that regular, non-medicated, shampoo is a lot less expensive.”
“So if he looks at the cost, he will probably buy his own.”
“Me on the other hand, I shave my head, so a bar of soap is even cheaper.”- Nice-Yogurt-6741
“NTA.”
“But until you can get a different roommate, use a shower caddy to bring your toiletries back and forth.”- Spiritual-Handle2983
“NTA.”
“Keep it in a little basket in your room, only take it to the bathroom when you need to use it.”-Traditional-Bag-4508
“NTA.”
“It doesn’t matter how expensive it is or that it’s a prescription.”
“You’re roommate is being a bum, and it needs to stop.”- Shatterpoint887
“You need a shower caddy; keep it in your room.”
“NTA.”
“Don’t ask dumb questions.”
“Of course you’re NTA to ask someone to stop using your pricey shampoo.”- Typical2sday
“NTA.”
“Don’t keep it in the shower.”
“Keep it in your room.”- Living-Assumption272
“NTA.”
“Keep your shampoo in your room when you don’t use it.”
“And if you’re really petty, take a nearly empty bottle of it and put something disgusting in it.”
“Chances are he’s one of those guys who put the shampoo directly on his scalp instead of his hand first and then he hay mayonnaise in his hair or something.”
“Just don’t use something that could seriously hurt him.”- Quinn_Essenz16
“NTA.”
“But there’s a simple solution – don’t leave your shampoo in the bathroom.”
“Keep it in your bedroom and take it with you each time you shower.”- Mysterious_Luck4674
“Clear NTA.”
“It’s your stuff, not his.”- Fearless_Spring5611
“NTA.”
“But I would likely move it to my room.”- Ok_Map7691
“NTA.”
“But take it out of the shower and put it in your room, not difficult.”
“Also, retaliate by telling the same mutual friends he’s so cheap he has to steal prescription shampoo instead of using his own.”
“Problem solved.”- Reddit
“NTA.”
“Hide it.”
“He’s being immature and a poor roommate.”- RainInTheWoods
“Ask for his half of the money.”
“Or keep it in your room and keep an eye out for new roommates.”
“NTA.”- OkManufacturer767
“NTA.”
“But he’s shown he’s not going to stop.”
“Keep it in your bedroom.”- Edcrfvh
“NTA.”
“But you’ll have to hide it.”- gmanose
“NTA.”
“I do think keeping it in your room is maybe a good idea but f*cking Christ I would hate living like that.”
“I’d rather say, Hey, you can keep using my shampoo if you like it so much, but we are going to have to trade off on who is buying it.”
“When this is empty, it’s your turn. – and then if he doesn’t buy it you keep that padlocked behind lasers.”- HamHockShortDock
“NTA.”
“Don’t keep it in the bathroom.”
“Replace it with a bottle with nair in it for your roommate.”- SpecialModusOperandi
“I know this isn’t a petty revenge sub, but this is grounds for telling him that using the prescription could make him lose his hair, then replacing the contents with something that will do just that.”
“NTA.”- AccomplishedInsect28
“NTA.”
“Get you a bathroom caddy and carry it from the bathroom.”
“It has solved roommate-stealing issues for years.”- MoodOk4607
“NTA, but he’s straight up told you if you don’t want him using it you need to hide it.”
“I’d honestly just do up a little shower caddy you can keep in your room/closet.”
“Sucks, you shouldn’t have too but he’s not gonna stop using it if it’s easily accessible to him.”
“He sounds lazy and cheap and probably doesn’t wanna buy his own sh*t.”- redheelermage
“NTA but he is definitely TA for not only using your stuff but for running to your friend group and complaining.”
“He’s an AH just for saying ‘calm down’.”
“Every time he asks you about something you should tell him to calm down until he understands how annoying and patronizing that is.”- PhoenixRisingToday
“NTA.”
“Lock up your sh*t because this is not the only thing he is using without asking.”- PinkPaintedSky
“NTA.”
“Buy a lock for your room.”
“And key locks for your cabinets in the kitchen.”
“Lock away all your stuff, per his suggestion, including any appliances, cutlery dishes, etc that is yours.”
“Tell him, when he means, ‘it was your idea, I just wanted everyone to respect other’s property and buy their own toiletries but hey, if this is your scene, I’m down’.”- Viva_Veracity1906
It seems clear that the OP’s roommate needs to choose his words a little more carefully.
As the OP was neither dramatic nor selfish regarding his shampoo being used.
Then, too, he’ll probably regret suggesting the OP hide his shampoo.
As that’s probably exactly what he’ll do…