Young children require constant monitoring.
They can get into everything and anything.
When young kids are unsupervised for too long, havoc ensues.
You name it, they’ll find a way to destroy it.
Because havoc… can be expensive to repair.
Redditor OkInfluence8022 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
“AITA FOR ASKING MY SISTER IN LAW TO HELP PAY FOR CLEANING AFTER HER KIDS DREW ON MY WALLS?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Names changed for privacy.”
“I’m 25 F[emale], my husband is 23 M[ale].”
“We just repainted our living room after weeks of patching and sanding.”
“You could still smell the paint.”
“We hosted a family dinner last weekend, nothing fancy, pasta and garlic bread, everyone brought something.”
“My S[ister]-I[n]-L[aw] Jess 32 F brought her twins 5 M.
“So I set up a kids’ table in the den with paper, washable markers, and snacks so they’d have their own area.”
“I went to grab more drinks and my stomach dropped because the living room wall had loops and zigzags all over the fresh paint… one of the twins handed me a marker cap and said oopsie.”
“I didn’t even know what to say for a second.”
“I called Jess in.”
“She kind of laughed and said, ‘Boys will be boys, they’ll get bored.'”
“So I tried wiping, and the color just smeared into the matte paint.”
“Jess said they’re little ones and I can repaint.”
“That stung.”
“I’d spent nights on that wall, the next morning I bought the fancy cleaners the paint store recommended.”
“The ink lifted in spots, so did the paint.”
“We called a painter and he texted a quote for 200 to sand, prime, and redo the one wall, so I texted Jess asking if she could help cover it since I set up the drawing area and the kids wandered anyway.”
“She said I was punishing creativity, and I should have put the markers away completely.”
“Tom says I’m making too much of it.”
“He feels for Jess, she’s a single mom and money is tight, and he thinks this just starts drama.”
“My mom said Jess should at least offer something.”
“Tom’s brother helped me clean that night without making a scene and said he’d talk to her.”
“His mom told me to chill, kids will be kids.”
“I keep going back and forth.”
“We put time and money into the space, and I tried to plan for the twins.”
“Asking for help with the repaint feels fair to me, and then I think about Jess’s budget, and I feel mean.”
“What really got me was the laugh and the it’s just paint comment, and it made me feel silly for caring about my own house.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for asking my sister-in-law to pay part of the repainting cost?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Buy a multipack of Sharpies to gift the twins next time you visit them at their house.” ~ Medical-Aide5586
“NTA, but I wouldn’t push her to pay for it.”
“I would just never invite them over to your home again.”
“When they ask, if they ask, say they aren’t welcome after they damaged your home.”
“Be firm.”
“Say you are happy to go to their house or meet in the community.”
“By the way, I’d lose my s**t if my nieces and nephews drew on my walls.”
“Their parents would, too.” ~ Le-Chat-Blanc
“NTA, but also, I’d say the kids should not be invited back unless the parents are more prepared to help supervise.”
“I probably would have offered to repaint the wall if money were tight.”
“She had options.” ~ Major_Barnacle_2212
“This! Something similar happened to my house.”
“After seeing how both parents and their children behaved, I never invited them back.”
“When I tried to tell about it to other family members, they all went with the same irresponsible excuses: ‘kids will be kids.'”
“At their age, when my cousin and I misbehaved in the same way, we were all grounded.”
“It is on the parents to educate their children.” ~ Lilirain
“NTA. When it’s her house, she can have that attitude; when it’s someone else’s house, she needs to take property damage seriously… even family.”
“This ‘boys will be boys’ attitude needs to stop now before they learn they can get away with misbehaving and causing damage without punishment.”
“Soon those 5-year-olds will be 10, then 14, then 18… her attitude to their behavior gets a lot less acceptable as they get older and the damage they can do gets a lot more serious.”
“At the very least, the kid(s) owe you a sincere thank you.”
“Going forward, they shouldn’t be left unattended if she can’t be responsible for watching them.”
“And I’d be very hesitant to invite them over again for a long time.”
“If your husband wants to spend time with family, he can talk to one of them about hosting.” ~ BluePopple
“I would definitely ask her to contribute costs.”
“At 5 years old, they should know better, and I would question her parenting skills.” ~ Roxxxxxxxxxxx03
“NTA. Have you ever seen crayon, marker, or fingerpaint on the walls at your sister-in-law’s home?”
“If not, it’s probably not an issue of blocking creativity.”
“It’s because she doesn’t allow her kids to ruin her walls.”
“SIL needs to chip in for the repair.” ~ EmpressOfMyBackyard
“NTA — suggest since she can’t afford it, she should come over with her twins and sand and prep the wall (the twins just for the purpose of a teaching moment that what they did was wrong, not that they would really be able to do that work) and she can buy the paint and do the repainting herself (teaching moment for her to pay more attention to her kids).”
“Her attitude is the worst part of this situation.” ~ TravelDaze
“NTA, and frankly, I’d ask her not to bring her kids over until she teaches them not to be destructive.”
“Just because she doesn’t care about her home and belongings doesn’t mean others don’t.” ~ Very_Stable_Princess
“NTA, how are you punishing creativity?”
“Are the twins the ones expected to pay for it somehow?”
“Her argument makes no sense, and she should absolutely be helping to cover the damages that HER unsupervised children caused.” ~ A_Classy_Ghost
“NTA. Kids will be kids, but it’s up to the parents to ensure that they don’t damage other people’s property and/or to help pay for their damages if they do.”
“Next time, keep them outdoors or don’t provide anything that can be used to deface or break something else.” ~ Individual_Ad_9213
“NTA, but if you gave them the washable markers, lesson learned that they are not ‘washable.'”
“Even if she is broke, she could have offered to help repaint and teach her boys that this was not okay, especially when visiting.”
“I always taught my children that different families have different rules, and even if they don’t make sense to you, you follow them.”
“Coloring walls is not creative; it is destructive.” ~ MentionGood1633
Of course, some Redditors had a few different thoughts…
“ESH. Never leave kids alone with items that could harm themselves or their surroundings.”
“You gave them markers.”
“That’s on you.”
“No one supervised them.”
“They are five.”
“You all suck.”
“The mother is excusing the behaviour as creativity.”
“She’s an a**hole setting her kids up for failure instead of teaching them manners, rules, and civility.” ~ DgShwgrl
“She gave them paper, washable markers, something anyone would give children.”
“It is no one else’s responsibility or job to watch your kids.”
“The sister in law knew markers were involved, and her kid’s behavior is her responsibility.”
“Nothing grinds my gears more than a parent who shows up to a family function and then leaves their kids alone for the other adults to watch.”
“My sister dumps her kids on me so much at these things to the point where I had to start fully ignoring them, probably hurting their feelings, so I could spend time with family members I rarely get to see.”
“I did not choose to have those kids, I will not be responsible for children I did not have unless it’s an emergency or I agreed to look after them.” ~ DgShwgrl
“This!!! I hide all markers, pencils, and everything when kids come over.”
“I have 2 of my own, but they know we don’t do that to walls.”
“I’ve had one situation where husband’s friend’s kids are like wild Drew everywhere I ended up getting it off husband helped, but we both vowed we would run around like crazy and pick up and put in our own room anything like that.” ~ Such_Memory5358
“It depends on whether anything was agreed, as in your kids, your responsibility.”
“It sounds like a lot of parents, it was a case of ‘meh, they’re quiet, leave ’em to it.'”
“I feel ultimately the responsibility is with the parent, not the OP.” ~ No_Acanthisitta953
“ESH. Why any of you thought it would be a good idea to leave twin five-year-olds unsupervised with markers is beyond me.”
“And then to do it in a freshly remodeled room.”
“Like, have you ever met children?”
“But yes, obviously, their parent is ultimately responsible for them and any damage they do.”
“SIL should have offered to paint the wall, or pay to have it repainted.”
“Mainly, I’m confused why a quick coat of paint would require sanding and priming to the tune of $200?”
“Or why didn’t you just use a magic eraser to wipe off the marker?”
“They’re just markers.”
“The marks don’t need to be sanded off the wall to be able to be painted over.”
“That makes zero sense.” ~ m33chm
Most of Reddit is with you, OP.
It would be nice if your SIL coughed up the money.
She clearly has some parenting issues.
Children need constant supervision.
It may be time to call Judge Judy.
Good Luck.