Everyone wants all their nearest and dearest to be present at their wedding.
Of course, inviting everyone simply isn’t possible, as both money and space will prevent that from happening.
Which doesn’t stop some invited guests from asking if there’s anyway the soon-to-be married couple can squeeze just one more in.
Usually oblivious to the inconvenience this would cause.
Redditor Fivestarr_Diorrr was soon to be married herself and had a firm cap on their guest count.
Unfortunately, the original poster (OP)’s sister asked her if she could bring a guest along.
A request the OP firmly shot down.
Concerned she may have been insensitive to her sister, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not letting my sister bring her new boyfriend to my wedding?”
The OP shared why her sister was so angry regarding a caveat of her invitation to the OP’s wedding:
“So I (28 F[emale]) am getting married in two months.”
“It’s going to be a pretty small wedding about 50 guests max, mostly family and close friends.”
“My fiancé and I agreed that because of budget and space, only serious partners (like married/engaged/long-term relationships) would be allowed a plus-one.”
“Here’s the problem: my younger sister (25 F) has been dating a new guy for literally three weeks.”
“She texted me saying she’s bringing him to the wedding, and I told her no, because the rule has always been that plus-ones are for long-term partners.”
“She freaked out and said I was being controlling, that she should get to bring whoever she wants because she’s my sister.”
“She accused me of ‘not wanting her to be happy’ and said she won’t come to the wedding at all if her boyfriend isn’t invited.”
“I told her I’d be sad if she missed it, but the rule applies to everyone.”
“Even my maid of honor isn’t bringing her casual boyfriend because she respects the boundary.”
“Now my parents are pressuring me to ‘just let her bring him’ so there’s no drama at the wedding.”
“They think it’s ‘just one more plate of food’ and not worth the fight.”
“But to me, it feels unfair to change the rule just for her, especially when I already told other guests no.”
“So, Reddit… AITA for not letting my sister bring her new boyfriend to my wedding? Should I just let her bring him?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to allow her to bring her new boyfriend to her wedding.
Everyone agreed that the OP had every right to say no to her sister. Not only had she made the size limit of her wedding crystal clear, but that three weeks was much too early to bring a significant other to a wedding:
“NTA I don’t understand everyone saying ‘who will she hang out with??'”
“‘Won’t she be surrounded by family members?'”- wooscoo
“NTA.”
“Why is she making your wedding about her, and why is she picking this random dude over her own sister?”
“Why would he even want to come?”
“I would not be interested in meeting my gf’s entire family at a very intimate setting like a wedding.”
“She’s only thinking about herself here rather than being supportive and excited for you.”-mymoonjelli
“NTA.”
“I know a lot of people say invites to a wedding should always include a plus one, but that’s always struck me as ridiculous; you could end up with dozens of people you’ve never met before at your wedding.”
“You were very clear with your sister that you’re only extending plus-ones in certain circumstances, and she’s having a tantrum now because she feels you ought to make an exception for her.”
“Why does not inviting someone she has been dating for three weeks have any impact on that relationship?”
“She’s being ridiculous, and your parents are enabling the tantrum.”- scared-of-clouds
“NTA.”
“’I’m being controlling about my own wedding?'”
“‘Why, yes, YES I AM’.”- bobhand17123
“NTA.”
“Your wedding is about you and your husband.”
“There will be plenty of people there for your sister to socialize with, and she will be fine without her boyfriend there.”
“I hate when family thinks that the rules don’t apply to them because they are family.”
“Why is your mother not encouraging her to back down to keep the peace?”
“And honestly, does she want the whole family to meet her new boyfriend after just 3 weeks?”
“It may just be an extra plate to your parents, but why do they think she is entitled to an extra plate at your wedding?”- tiredoftryingtobe
“NTA.”
“Your wedding, your rules.”
“You made it clear from the beginning that only long-term partners would be allowed.”
“I would maybe let it slide if it were closer to 6 months, but at 3 weeks, she barely knows him herself.”
“It has nothing to do with her being happy and more about having people who you actually know at your small wedding.”- SnooSprouts6437
“I’m going to say NTA.”
“You guys have already had to budget around the final headcount you had and such, I don’t know if I think it’s fair to come to the bride and groom only 2 months before and ask about changing things, especially with it being a decently small-sized wedding.”
“I can also see it being a potential issue with such a small number of this guy being in a lot of the photos, and I don’t know if 3 months (by the time of the wedding) is enough time to be out of the phase of the relationship where everything seems perfect.”
“I think if you’ve already told other people no, it’s fair if you would like to stick to that.”
“As a personal anecdote, my mom’s sister brought her boyfriend to my mom’s wedding, and they broke up shortly after.”
“Now, every time my aunt passes the wedding photos on the shelves, she complains about her ex being there, and I can see it makes my parents sad because their memory of the day is beautiful, and her sister brings it down every single time.”
“I don’t know your sister, and I don’t think it’d be fair to assume she’d do anything like this, but I get where they want no short-term-relationship partners at a wedding.”- Little_Orlik
“NTA.”
“Your wedding and your guest list. Your sister and your parents can easily be uninvited if they cannot respect that.”- kiwimuz
“NTA.”
“Sis is crazy.”- nofallingupward
“NTA.”
“They have been dating the length of a Taylor Swift song.”
“You don’t know him and won’t get to know him in 2 months’ time.”
“Her demand is causing drama and stress, and giving in will cause those to continue.”
“She didn’t even ask you to consider it, just assumed.”
“It’s not like she’s going to some huge event where she won’t know anyone.”
“Her family will be there.”
“Boyfriend can sit this one out.”
“Ask your parents why they aren’t supporting you and aren’t helping you shut this tantrum down?”
“Regarding your sister – is it possible she’s not feeling like you’re acknowledging her in some way as a part of the wedding?”
“Her ‘gets to bring whoever she wants because she’s your sister’ sounds like it has some roots to more than just being excited to show off her new boyfriend.”
“If you haven’t already, try to have a sit-down in-person conversation (not with your parents) where you listen to her, ask what’s going on, and see if you can get to any deeper issues.”
“Does she feel left out in some way?”
“Were you in competition with each other growing up, that might be driving this need?”-Lulu_Brooksie
“My first thought…hey, 3 weeks MIGHT be long term for the sister!”
“My second thought, your wedding, your rules.”
“And whoever said the bride has 2 months to get to know the boyfriend..with.. it would be the boyfriend’s job to get to know the bride better.”
“Congratulations on your pending nuptials.”
“NTA.”- jwoogirl
“NTA.”
“Your rule is perfectly reasonable.”
“Even if you facetiously defined ‘long-term’ as 3 months, he still wouldn’t qualify.”
“I find her attitude pretty odd tbh.”
“I would not take someone I’d been seeing for 3 weeks to an important wedding.”
“He won’t know anyone else, and she’s going to have to spend the whole wedding with him, instead of socializing.”- Moose-Live
“NTA.”
“I’m guessing your sister is younger because this sounds like childish behavior.”
“I don’t know that I would want to invite someone whom I’ve only been dating for three weeks.”
“A family wedding is a big deal for such a new relationship.”
“She seems like the type of person who meets someone and suddenly they are her soulmate and are the most important person in the whole world.”- Wonderful-Seesaw6214
If the OP was refusing to invite her sister’s husband of many years, simply because she didn’t like him, that would be petty and immature.
Not inviting her sister’s new boyfriend, whom she barely knows, however, is an entirely different story.
Hopefully, the OP’s sister will come to realize this and not live up to her declaration of skipping the wedding.
A decision she will no doubt regret.