Having to wear diapers past a certain age can be a sensitive topic for children.
At night, sometimes accidents happen.
It doesn’t mean diapers will be needed forever.
But for a kid, it can feel like the problem may never end.
The last thing they want is their business exposed in public.
Redditor CryptographerOld5750 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
“AITA for not being more discreet at the store for my son?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My son, 9 M[ale], is upset with me right now for an incident that happened yesterday at the store.”
“Yesterday we were at the store to stock up on groceries, it was me, 37 F[emale], my son, 9 M, and my daughter, 7 F.”
“My son still wets the bed and wears Goodnites (big kid pull-ups for bedwetting) for it, and we went and got those first like we always do, so we can hide them underneath other stuff.”
“It went pretty well for most of the trip, but there was an issue when we got to checkout.”
“I was unloading the last of the groceries when I heard him say in a kinda worried voice, ‘No Mom, please stop,’ but I had already put his Goodnites on the belt.”
“I asked him what was wrong, he pointed out that his friend was at the store with her parents and might see us, and he didn’t want her to see his Goodnites.”
“I said it would be okay and put the last of the other groceries around his Goodnites so nobody would see them.”
“We got our stuff rang up and left with no problems, but my son didn’t say a word to me on the car ride home.”
“Later, I asked him what was making him so upset.”
“He said he didn’t want his friend to see his Goodnites, and that’s why he wanted me to stop unloading the groceries, and said I was being a jerk for not stopping, and his friend almost saw them.”
“I explained to him that I never meant to make him feel bad, I just needed to get the groceries unloaded so they could be rung up.”
“But this didn’t help, and he said I was being a jerk and didn’t talk to me much for the rest of the evening, and was very quiet at Breakfast today.”
“I asked him if he was still upset, and he said yes, he was cuz I was a jerk.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP WAS the A**hole.
“YTA. Even small humans deserve to have a say over things that embarrass them.”
“I would really try to order these online going forward.”
“You know your son is uncomfortable to the point that you hide them in your groceries, just remove the discomfort and order them online.”
“Kids can be mean, and they absolutely will use something like peeing the bed at that age to mock your child.”
“He’s right to want to protect his privacy and peace.”
“As grown-ups, we’re allowed to be embarrassed by things we buy and have the ability to buy them discreetly.”
“Give your son that same option.”
“ETA a judgement since I forgot one and ended up in the top comment!”
“YTA, but this is fixable.” ~ nikki57
“I mean, they could say it’s for a baby cousin, too, but it still doesn’t matter.”
“Little guy is terrified, and I think that really SHOULD matter enough to order them online or have them brought to the car for pickup (Walmart does this for free).”
“I was bullied my entire childhood/high school, as well as being abused at home, and it destroyed me.”
“I really feel for this child and his fears.”
“He deserves to matter enough to have someone consider his fear and get this private item in a private way.” ~ Moonfallthefox
“I had an accident in grade school; it happens.”
“My mom did not attempt to keep it quiet at home, and my sister told everyone she could find at school.”
“There are still grown a** adults I went to school with who remember this.”
“He won’t get over it.”
“Being a kid is traumatic enough; your parents shouldn’t be a source of it. YTA.” ~ emortens_liz
“I mean… you decide if you were the a**hole, but consider this.”
“If the kids at school got hold of this information, you would essentially end his life.”
“He would mercilessly be bullied for all of his formative years, in all likelihood.”
“You took that chance.”
“Your kid understood the stakes.”
“It clearly haunts him.”
“And you decided to play a little Russian roulette with your kid’s reputation.” ~ leaveitintherearview
“Not to your question, but I’d like to share.”
“My son never got out of nighttime diapers.”
“He started kindergarten with his twin, and I was concerned he might be embarrassed.”
“A family member shared that when her kids were young, she had the same issue and bought a ‘wet alarm.'”
“It’s a device worn on the wrist, with a wire running down to a clip that clips on the underwear in front of the privates.”
“If the contact is made between the clips (by getting wet), the wrist alarm beeps.”
“The child wakes and goes to the bathroom.”
“My son was cured in 3 days, and he’s almost 40 now.”
“I would highly recommend.”
“They’re probably higher tech now.”
“I don’t know what your son’s issue is, or if this would be helpful.”
“My son just slept too soundly to wake up.” ~ Unusual-Cloud-5048
“YTA, order them online or have them delivered.”
“I know delivery fees can be outrageous and inconvenient, but if it spares your son embarrassment, it should be worth it.”
“Or maybe buy them when he’s not with you, like on your way home from work.” ~ po-tat-o-bi*ch
“What would you want if the roles were reversed?”
“That’s what I think of when things like this happen with my daughter.”
“I would want someone to apologize first, then discuss with me what they could do differently next time.”
“It’s basically just being respectful.”
“This works every time with my seven-year-old.”
“Dismissing someone else’s feelings or becoming defensive only makes things worse.” ~ SJBirdofprey
“YTA. That’s the kind of thing that would absolutely be used to torture him at school.”
“It’s inconvenient, but I buy them without my kids in tow.”
“It sucks to make an extra trip, but it’s not worth my child being tormented at school because someone saw us at the store.” ~ cakeresurfacer
“Soft ESH.”
“He needs to recognize that other people don’t pay remotely as much attention to him as he thinks they do, but that’s hard at that age.”
‘He needs to not call you insulting terms, and he needs to forgive when it’s clear you weren’t intending anything bad.”
“You need to recognize the level of risk he feels.”
“To him, this is huge.”
“Exposure could mean complete social destruction.”
“Maybe the cashier could scan the Goodnites with a wand, so you don’t have to take them all the way out of the cart.”
“Maybe you can hand them to the cashier right when it’s time to ring them up, and put them right back into the cart.”
“Find some way to show him that you are doing what you can to minimize the visibility of the Goodnites, if only to demonstrate to your son that you understand how dangerous this feels for him.” ~ Tom_Tildrum
“I’m going to go against the grain and say it’s a soft YTA.”
“There’s clearly a lot of angst and insecurity about the whole thing (as expected), and you kinda dismissed and minimized your son’s anxiety in the moment, even if it was unintentional on your part.”
“He’s clearly struggling with this, so it might be worth finding a different way to get the pull-ups.” ~ MutantHoundLover
“I wouldn’t say YTA, but maybe a bit insensitive.”
‘Would you have plunked a case of adult diapers on the belt if your co-worker were within eyesight of your purchases?’
“The best thing to do would have been to take another turn around the store while waiting for the schoolmate and her parents to leave.” ~ aeraen
“Soft YTA.”
“Be more respectful of your son’s embarrassment and feelings.”
“He tried to speak up and let you know how he felt, and you minimized his feelings.”
“He will be less inclined to share his feelings in the future because of that. 😕.”
“Buy them without him in the future or order online, do grocery pickup, or something.”
“But mostly, LISTEN to your kids.” ~ earmares
“YTA, it doesn’t really matter if you are in the wrong or not.”
“What matters is how your son feels and your willingness to acknowledge his feelings.”
“Sometimes you can make a mistake, and the way you act after is what actually hurts.” ~ thewhaler
“YTA. Order them online or buy without him there.”
‘He asked you to stop, and you carried on.”
“Poor lad.” ~ TippyTurtley
OP came back with an Update…
“I just talked to my son and apologized to him for making him feel like I didn’t care about his feelings and being a jerk at the store.”
“I told him I never meant to make him feel bad, and I was sorry I did.”
‘I promised him we will be buying his Goodnites using curbside pickup from now on (we do most of our shopping at Fred Meyer’s and they offer free delivery for orders 35$ and up, so making his Goodnites part of a bigger delivery will work fine for us and not hurt our Budget).”
“He was quite glad to hear this, which makes me wish I had done it sooner.”
“He accepted my apology, and we cuddled for a few minutes, and now we’re about to cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie that he picks out.”
“Thanks, everyone, for your help!”
It’s great to hear that the situation was resolved, OP.
It’s nice to see that parents can acknowledge their mistakes and apologize to their kids.
Happy Shopping!