It seems like in 2025, almost 2026, that we should have a better grip on what pregnant women actually go through and how lasting their symptoms can be.
But there are still people out here who think that pregnant women shouldn’t gain weight, or should even lose weight, despite growing a small human, cringed the members of the “Am I Overreacting?” (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor mimblez_yo was eight months pregnant and had, of course, gained weight.
When her husband started monitoring her weight and expected her to lose weight, because she was gaining more than “the average,” the Original Poster (OP) was deeply hurt.
She asked the sub:
“Am I overreacting by getting upset that my husband told me to lose weight while being 32 weeks pregnant?”
The OP was naturally gaining weight while pregnant.
“I’m currently 32 weeks (eight months) pregnant with my second baby.”
“My starting weight was 69 kg (152 lbs), and I am 80.3 kg (176 lbs) right now. I’m five feet, four inches, tall.”
“I also got massive by the end of my first pregnancy, and I was diagnosed with polyhydramnios (too much amniotic fluid).”
“My husband looked at the weight I track in my Garmin app and compared it to the predicted pregnant weight gain on a graph.”
You can see the graph here:
Based on the graph, the OP’s “goal weight” was 55.0 kg (121 lbs), and her weight at the beginning of the pregnancy back in January was 69 kg (152 lbs).
The OP’s weight gradually increased over the course of the pregnancy, at first overlapping with the suggested weight gain, or “pregnancy gain goal” presented by the app.
Between August and September, the OP’s weight, at approximately 73 kg (160 lbs) went above the app’s pregnancy gain goal. As of the present in December, the OP’s weight was charted at 80 kg (176 lbs), while the app suggested approximately 76 kg (167 lbs).
The OP’s husband’s suggestion was to lose weight, even though she was still pregnant.
“He said I am weighing too much and I should lose two kilograms.”
“I got upset, told him he was mean to me, and left the room to cry.”
“He said I was overreacting.”
“This was not the first time he commented on my weight or how much I eat during this pregnancy, either.”
“AIO?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You’re Overreacting
Some reassured the OP that pregnant women did not need to lose weight in the vast majority of cases.
“It is also incredibly unhealthy to try to lose weight when pregnant that would not be good for you or the baby who needs the nutrients you are eating for them.”
“The only people who should be discussing weight, exercise, or anything else linked to your body are the medical professionals caring for you.”
“I think that’s exactly what you should tell your husband! And possibly that this won’t be an issue again since he is now about as appealing to you sexually as a whelk (not a cute whelk one with bad breath!)” – Fanoflif21
“I think for the majority of us, being pregnant is hard. What an awful thing to say to you.”
“I don’t think someone capable of saying that while pregnant really cares about you. But you have your history and your reasons… You should try to talk about why that hurts (even though it’s obvious).”
“In my opinion. If you struggle to have those conversations and you’re not heard, there’s a major problem going on.” – beapleites7
“She’s eight months pregnant. She’s ready to burst with his kid, and he’s commenting on TWO KILOGRAMS.”
“Even I know that we don’t f**king care about a few kg on a very pregnant woman, and I’m a gay with negative awareness when it comes to these issues.” – PigeonBoiAgrougrou
“Tell your husband to go to the doctor with you, then tell the doctor what he said, and he will be eating his words. This is would probably be the only way to save the marriage.”
“This kind of person needs a doctor to tell them why they are wrong.”
“I’m a guy here before anyone thinks otherwise, telling your pregnant wife that she’s getting too fat, and then telling her she’s overreacting when she cries is just evil, to me that tells him he’s just not capable of being a good husband and probably father.”
“If you can humble him now, maybe things will change, I recently got diagnosed with autism and I realised the symptoms are everywhere (and even if the husband doesn’t have autism, autism is just having too many symptoms and too frequently so I reckon the advice can still apply if someones acting this way), my dad is the one who probably gave me autism and in my personal experience we say the wrong thing, get very stubborn about it etc the only way to convince my father (or me) that we’re wrong is a professional/authority explaining why we’re wrong.”
“I’m not saying he has autism or it’s an excuse but imo the only way to deal with stubbornness like this isn’t to argue with them, it’s to get an authority to tell them they are wrong, if he can’t admit his mistake, then it’s gonna be a rough road.” – RelevantIndividual27
“You should lose weight, approximately 77kg of a**hole.”
“NOR. His lack of consideration towards you while you are MAKING A HUMAN INSIDE OF YOU is just inexcusable.”
“You just keep doing you, bring your beautiful baby into this world and surround it with love, mama. Ignore the poor choice you have in men for now, deal with it once you’re past this last stretch.” – MercyForNone
Others found the OP’s husband to be terribly inconsiderate and hoped she’d leave him.
“May this love never find me.”
“This man is an id**t. He’s inconsiderate, focused on the wrong things, mean, and misogynistic.”
“The fact that you wonder if YOU are overreacting is the biggest concern here because it means he has done quite some successful gaslighting already.” – cat-like-creature
“I’m 30 weeks pregnant right now and would lose my S**T if someone told me I needed to lose weight. Tell him to try growing a baby and see how he does with his weight. NOR, your husband’s a d*ck for that.
And if that doesn’t get through to him, you can lose a few dozen kg by throwing the whole man away if he doesn’t sincerely apologize and change his behavior.
I’m not pregnant, nor do I have plans to be, but I get fiercely protective of pregnant folks. Diaparaging someone for their weight is already gauche af. To do so when someone in actively creating a whole new human?? Get the f**k out of here.” – vikingunicorn
“How are we in 2025, and some people still don’t know that pregnancy changes your body? Even permanently, sometimes.”
“And not just physically. After my first, I somehow became lactose intolerant! It took an embarrassing amount of morning cereal and rushing to the bathroom to figure that one out. I also have a friend who developed a shellfish allergy while pregnant, and she and her child are both allergic to shellfish now.”
“Op, your man needs to grow up. Before a man becomes a father, he needs to understand and appreciate the gravity of pregnancy, development, and parenthood.” – Mommyfish
“You cannot convince me that this man is not a complete and utter AH in the rest of their lives together.”
“There’s no way that somebody is at unspeakably mean, and grossly insensitive, and this is a one-off. I guarantee you this guy is a huge jerk, and OP has just been so conditioned that she accepts it a lot of the time.”
“Things like this don’t exist in a vacuum. This isn’t just a one-off. He’s probably an a**hole constantly, so she ignores it.”
“But this one stuck out as overtly a**holery conduct because she knows she’s not doing a thing wrong.”
“Poor OP. I bet her PP journey is rough. With my first couple of kids, I bounced back quickly. With my last two, I didn’t lose anything until I stopped nursing when they were almost two years. Nursing made me ravenous, but even with exercise, I just couldn’t lose it. It melted off once we stopped nursing, but still.”
“If my husband had expressed anything critical about my weight, I would have definitely spiraled. Instead, he was so proud of me for finally successfully breastfeeding and not using formula at all. I got back to my normal eventually.”
“This guy is going to give her a body image complex. She deserves better!” – KatesDT
“The OP wrote, ‘I got upset, told him he was being mean to me, and left the room to cry. He said I was overreacting.'”
“Great husband. Will be a fantastic, emotionally aware father… (ends sarcastic comment).”
“I understand OP is married to this man, and they already have another child, but I am begging other young women reading this: please stop letting men like this procreate.”
“A man who is going to tell you you need to lose a small amount of weight while you risk dying for his child, should have zero access to p**sy, period. There are better men.”
“I don’t care if it sounds mean, I am p**sed on OP’s behalf, since being as p**sed as she should be will probably detonate her life; these types of men should be the real incels. Truly involuntarily celibate because they don’t deserve it from any woman on earth.”
“There are signs that a man will be like this. I’ve been with one, in my 20s, who would make just ‘little quips’ about my weight or how much I ate, or what I was eating. I bet if I had ended up pregnant and gained ‘a lot’ (in his eyes), he would have said something.”
“My current partner has never once made a single comment about any of those things to me in five years. He’s actually never made a single negative comment about my appearance or body, even once. Ever.”
“One time, he told me my nose contour looked off in real lighting when we got in the car, so I could fix it. That’s the only incident. Even when I gained 30 pounds in the relationship, and eventually losing that was my choice too.”
“Men should be happy their wives and babies are alive and healthy during pregnancy. Nothing else. And they should be painfully aware that either of those things can drastically change in those nine months on a dime, and as such, be filled with love, kindness, and gratitude.” – PinkDeserterBaby
The subReddit was disgusted by how the OP was being treated and hoped that she would not listen to her husband and that she would learn to expect more from her marriage… if she chose to stay.