Content Warning: Creepy Behavior, Boundary Crossing, Mentions of Stalkers and Serial Killers
We’ve all heard the advice that if we want something good to happen for us, sometimes we have to take the first step and shoot our shot. Maybe things will work out, and maybe they won’t.
Being the catalyst for an affair when you have a wife and children at home, and over the holidays to boot, probably isn’t something you should shoot your shot for, though, side-eyed the members of the “Am I Overreacting?” (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Latter_Tutor_5235 lived above a doctor who had a wife and three young children, and with the holidays coming up, Christmas cards started pouring in almost as often as the monthly bills.
But when she received a Christmas card from the doctor, inviting her to visit while his wife and kids were out of town, the Original Poster (OP) would not ignore the creepy feeling she had.
She asked the sub:
“Am I overreacting by being creeped out by this Christmas card I received from my neighbor?”
The OP received a note from her downstairs neighbor that was questionable at best.
“This is a Christmas card I got from my neighbor. It’s really pretty weird, and I feel rather creeped out by it, but maybe I’m overreacting.”
“I do not know this neighbor well at all; we’ve had pretty minimal interactions.”
“I know he’s married with three young, all under 10, kids.”
“I’m sorry that it’s really hard to read; his handwriting is awful.”
You can see a photo of the card the OP received here:
“Dear Little Red-Haired Girl,”
“We wanted to wish you a very Merry Christmas for your first year in the neighborhood.”
“I know you live alone and don’t even have boys over, so if you are feeling lonely, don’t hesitate to come over.”
“My wife is taking the boys to see their grandpa this year, but I have to stay to work.”
“The ER is always busy. I am an EMP if you didn’t know. So I will be lonely this Christmas, too.”
Ironically, the pre-written message inside the card read:
“With joy we receive Him;”
“With hope we share Him;”
“With love we celebrate Him.”
“May the gift of Jesus bless your life all year!”
The OP was creeped out by the card.
“So, to start with, his addressing me as a little girl made my skin crawl. Why not use my name? My name was on the envelope, so he does know it.”
“Secondly, apparently, he’s been watching to see if I had any men over, and decided that since I haven’t, I must be lonely. I guess he missed that my girlfriend is often over here, or just assumed she doesn’t assuage my apparent loneliness.”
“Thirdly, why is he trying to invite me over to his place while his family is gone?”
“And lastly, he signed it as if it were from his family, but he’s the only one who wrote anything on it, and it’s clearly about him alone, and I really doubt his wife signed off on the message.”
The OP wanted to confirm if she was reading too much into the message.
“This is super creepy, right? I feel like I should go speak to his wife, but I really don’t want to be responsible for causing drama or creating tension in someone else’s family, especially not right before Christmas.”
“I am also considering asking my girlfriend to come stay with me for a while, so that I’m not alone, and he has no reason to try making me feel less ‘lonely.'”
“Please tell me I’m overreacting and he’s just awkwardly trying to be friendly.”
“AIO?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You’re Overreacting
Some confirmed that the card was definitely, undoubtedly creepy.
“It doesn’t matter how old this man is !!! It’s creepy as all h**l regardless, especially because OP said they live alone.”
“In neighbor situations, all kinds of s**t can and will send off alarm bells, but this feels like a five-alarm fire scenario to me and clearly to lots of other people, and Dr. Creepazoid’s age truly has no bearing on that.”
“OP, if you see this, please trust your gut and do whatever feels safest. You’re definitely not overreacting.” – Independent-Park7555
“NOR. Forty-something man here. It’s actually not that difficult to not be creepy, and even less so to this level of creepiness.”
“‘Little red-haired girl’ was what Charlie Brown called the girl he had a crush on but never really had the courage to talk to, so take that for what it’s worth, but that seems infantalizing and not cute or appropriate. Also, what kind of 40-year-old makes a Peanuts reference? This whole thing is all kinds of gross.” – cornfedpig
“Ma’am, you’re underreacting. This is wildly creepy, and he 100% wrote it in hopes you know his wife will be away and will come visit him.”
“I would get a card and write ‘Happy Christmas, neighbors!’ in it and stop his wife when you next see her, tell her, ‘Thank you so much for the Christmas Card, I wanted to give you mine personally. I hope your visit to your parents with your kids will go well,’ and show her the card you got from her creepy husband, so she can see what her creepy husband is propositioning you with.”
“100% she does NOT know what he wrote in the card, although she may well know a card was sent and thought it had a generic message in it.”
“This is not a man awkwardly trying to be friendly, he’s absolutely propositioning you in a ‘plausible deniability’ creepy way. He’s straight up saying his wife and kids will be out of town and he’s going to be lonely, and since you’ll be lonely too, you should come on over so you two can keep each other ‘company.'”
“Tell his wife. Trust your instincts. Make sure your doors are locked and get cameras that cover them if you don’t have them already in case Creeper McCreeperson neighbor gets a little holiday cheer in him and decides to knock on your door. Do not open it if he does.” – HelpfulName
“‘Little’ is a weird and inappropriate thing to call a neighbor. Whether it’s in reference to their age or physical stature, super creepy undertones.”
“‘Red-haired’ is a weird and disrespectful to call an adult acquaintance by a physical feature rather than their name.”
“‘Girl’ is weird if she’s living alone, she’s a woman, and regardless, sounds like he knows her name or could just say ‘neighbor.’ The way he refers to her is SO GODD**N creepy.”
“‘I know you live alone’ suggests that it’s time to get security cameras, ensure the doors and windows lock securely, and maybe a weapon.”
“‘And don’t ever have boys over’ confirms you definitely need a weapon, he’s watching this person’s house/routine enough to assert they know this.”
“‘If you’re ever feeling lonely’… You know what’s worse than feeling lonely? Feeling completely uncomfortable and terrified in your own home because of your insane neighbor.”
“‘Don’t hesitate to come over’… This is classic groomer/abuser language. Don’t second-guess yourself, don’t listen to your gut, just come over.”
“Got bored, but there are seven things that individually might describe your take. All of them together? This is f**king deranged, and would be if the guy were in his 40s or 80s.”
“It’s so not okay, and I am gobsmacked that even if this was from an old man, people think it’s even in the galaxy of being appropriate in any way.”
:This dude is in his 40s, married, with three kids, and supposedly a doctor who has other people’s health in his hands, and this letter is the result of his judgment. Lusting after a neighbor, all the creepy stuff, putting it in writing…. dude is not stable.” – kunderthunt
Others encouraged the OP to get the neighbor’s wife involved.
“Go up to his wife and VERY innocently and sweetly say, ‘Thank you guys for the card. The writing was hard to read, so I could only make out part of the message,’ then show it to her and ask her to help you with the words that are hard to read.” – Professional_Cold511
“If she goes to the wife, it is pretty ‘harmless,’ as it was signed as being from the family. And in case it is just an awkward old guy, his wife’s reaction would answer whether he’s a creep or just awkward.”
“The wife is already leaving for Christmas, so they probably have issues anyway, not really OP’s fault if it causes drama.” – Osseus555
“This is what my mom would do to make sure the wife knows, but the wife almost certainly already knows her husband is a creep. This just makes it harder for her to deny it. This doesn’t protect OP in any way.” – Mission-Street-2586
“Okay, this reminds me of a true and now funny story. Once upon a time, my boss’s wife called and thanked me for the Christmas gift I got her husband. ‘Uh, yeah, thanks, I mean, yeah,’ I replied, not sure what she was talking about.”
“I didn’t dare say I hadn’t gotten him anything because both my sister and I worked at this private school together. I assumed she must have given something to him from both of us.”
“A week later, I got a thank-you card, again from the wife, for the cologne and socks I gave my boss. I went running to my sister’s classroom. She knew nothing of this gift, and now I was horrified that my boss and his wife thought I was sending him cologne.”
“I had to ‘fess up, so I called them and let them know the gift was not from me. They weren’t upset. They were quite relieved. They sent a thank you card to the kindergartner with the same first name as mine.” – ApocalypseCheerBear
After receiving feedback, the OP shared an update in a second post.
“I waited most of the day for Dr. Creepy (confirmed 47 Male) to leave for work and went over to talk to his wife with my girlfriend.”
“I asked her about the card, and she was aware it had been sent out but had not read it herself.”
“She seemed both shocked, confused, and defensive throughout the conversation, and I didn’t feel that I could really trust her, so I didn’t make any accusations, and I kept my feelings to a minimum of feeling uncomfortable with the card.”
“The first and biggest red flag is the handwriting itself. She said that he does not ordinarily write in cursive and often struggles to remember how to write the letters. She showed me other cards that he had written in his regular handwriting, and they are much more legible and in print. My card is the only one that he wrote in cursive on. She couldn’t think of any reason he would do that other than a flight of fancy.”
“There’s only one reason I can think of: He wanted to be able to deny he wrote it if I confronted him directly, and he’d have the other cards as proof it’s not his handwriting.”
The neighbor’s wife did little to make the OP feel better.
“We went through the letter together, and she tried to explain some of it that she could.”
“‘Dear Little Red-Haired Girl,’ she says this was a harmless reference to Peanuts because the family had been watching the Peanuts movies together recently. Still feels really creepy to me.”
“On the part of him knowing I don’t have boys over, she said, ‘We both think it’s odd a pretty young woman doesn’t have a boyfriend,’ while my girlfriend was sitting right next to me. Instant dislike.”
“About the invitation to come over during Christmas, she said it was meant for while the whole family was there, but she is leaving with the kids this Friday for almost two weeks. She didn’t really have an explanation for that. I told her I didn’t feel comfortable going over while he was alone, and she agreed with that at least.”
“I did keep the card and just sent her a picture of it. Like I said, I don’t really trust her, and I wanted to keep the card as evidence in case he tried to do anything else.”
The neighbor’s wife’s defensive remarks continued.
“She said him talking about being lonely for Christmas was just him trying to empathize with me. Pressing X to doubt.”
“She said she would handle the situation with her husband, but I’m not sure what she means by that, and didn’t really elaborate. I don’t have much faith in her doing anything since she was mostly trying to explain away the weirdness of the card.”
“As for my personal safety, my girlfriend is staying here for a while. She brought some weapons (pepper spray, taser, crowbar) and said she’s ready to crack heads.”
“While I appreciate her eagerness to defend me, I truly hope that will be unnecessary. New cameras were ordered and should be arriving tomorrow, so I can set those up and watch the house from my phone.”
“I’ll be going to my girlfriend’s parents’ house for Christmas, so I will at least be out of the house on the day that he feels most lonely.”
“Hopefully, there won’t be much else to update.”
Fellow Redditors were even more creeped out than before by the wife’s response.
“What the actual f**k. The beginning of a horror movie or true crime.”
“Merry Christmas, here’s 10 cameras, a crow bar, and some mace.”
“How old is he? I’d dig in, happy for this to be on the internet and not real life. Sorry! You’ll be fine! I’m now invested!” – PuzzleheadedFudge285
“Bro, he wrote in cursive like how serial killers send mail in using a fake font. He called you little red haired girl, that’s only okay if he’s 80, and you’re like 13.”
“He, a middle-aged man, in the same note, noted you didn’t have any male lovers and offered you to come over while his family was away. And his wife’s… defending him?”
“F**k that.” – BMF_Dad
“She’s definitely trying to rationalise his creepy behaviour to herself. Gross.” – TwoFingersWhiskey
“Maybe she’s used to him cheating, or they have an open marriage, so she doesn’t see it as a big deal. To be honest, they both sound weird and creepy, so I would keep away from them and never answer the door to them.”
“Hopefully, now you’ve told his wife, he’ll keep away from you out of embarrassment that his card made you really uncomfortable. He’ll probably try to say he was just being friendly or something, but I’d steer well clear of both of them.” – Sleepllama23
“Honestly, her being defensive about it is probably her own self-protection… she’s probably upset and angry about it and was trying not to show it.”
“(My neighbour was the EXACT same when her husband tried things with me, she apologised after she left him for how she reacted at first. It’s not an uncommon thing to do when you’re suddenly being told the man you built a life with turns out to be a creep, as per my therapist at the time.)”
“I’m glad you’re not alone and getting out of the house during Christmas itself. Stay safe.” – meowcatpanda
The subReddit was thoroughly creeped out on the OP’s behalf, first because of the card and then for the wife’s possible acceptance of it. It was one thing to be friendly, especially around the holidays, but it was another thing entirely to overstep boundaries and then use excuses to dismiss it.