Money matters in a roommate situation can be a hassle.
Even when everyone goes in on the deal with firm boundaries, problems still often arise.
And once issues arise and fester, attitudes are rarely ever the same.
High bills and shelling out more money never make anyone friendly.
Redditor Imaginary_Block8773 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback, so naturally, he came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
He asked:
“AITA for telling my roommate I’m not paying for utilities they waste by leaving lights/A[ir] C[onditioner] on constantly?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (22 M[ale]) live with a roommate (23 M), and we split rent and utilities 50/50.”
“The problem is he’s constantly leaving lights on in every room, runs the AC at full blast even when he’s not home, and takes 30+ minute showers.”
“Our electricity bill has been insane the past few months, and when I brought it up, he just shrugged and said that’s what utilities cost.”
“I started keeping track, and he’s definitely the one driving up the costs.”
“Last month, the bill was almost double what it normally is.”
“I told him I’m only paying my fair share based on my usage, and he needs to cover the extra he’s wasting.”
“He got pissed and said we agreed to split everything 50/50, and I can’t just change that now.”
“I told him the agreement was fair when we were both being reasonable, but I’m not subsidizing his wastefulness.”
“He called me cheap and said if I can’t afford utilities, I shouldn’t have moved in.”
“Now it’s awkward as hell, and some mutual friends are saying I’m being petty over a utility bill.”
“But I don’t think it’s fair that I’m paying for his carelessness.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So… AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP WAS the A**hole.
“YTA only because you ‘think’ you know how much extra his habits are costing, but you don’t know.”
“Unless and until you can find a way to calculate that, then there’s nothing you can do really.”
“You could see if he’d be game to try for one month, shortening showers, watching the AC, etc (lights are bullsh*t and don’t really contribute, especially in an apartment, and everything is likely LED) and seeing if it makes a difference.”
“Then you’ll both have a little more knowledge about how much or how little effort it takes to affect your utility bills.” ~ LiveKindly01
“You also have to be smart about AC usage.”
“You can’t just turn it off when you leave and not expect it to be 85 when you return, making you have to blast it all the more to get the temp down.”
“Assuming OP is in the southern hemisphere.”
“Heat also needs regulating.” ~ Traveler691
“Exactly.”
“It uses less energy to let the AC run at a higher temperature while you’re gone and turn it down when you get home than it does to turn it off completely and let the house get hot and humid before trying to pull all that heat and humidity back out.” ~ Kr_Treefrog2
“Good idea.”
“My electric company can even break it down by the hour on their online usage chart.”
“It comes out the following day.”
“I’m logging my daily usage due to recent cold weather.” ~ SilverStory6503
“Are you in the US?”
“It was really, really cold for a good portion of last month.”
“Everyone’s utility bills are going to be higher.”
“Ours are at their highest mid-winter and mid-summer.”
“The only thing you listed that will affect it to any major degree is running AC/heat even when you aren’t home.”
“Leaving lights on is making pennies of a difference literally.”
“You’re going to have to work out some agreement, but blaming it all on your roommate is nuts when it’s 90% the weather making your system work harder. YTA.” ~ unknown_user_1002
“YTA here.”
“How do you even track your usage?”
“There is no way this is going to be a situation you’ll be able to reconcile with any certainty.”
“You can talk about the economical use of utilities, but there’s no way to track individual usage.” ~ Willing-Helicopter26
“How are you going to prove that the electric usage was him and not you?”
“Does your AC not have a thermostat where it turns off at a specific temperature?”
“Doesn’t the AC still stay on typically even when not home, just at a designated degree?”
“I’m gonna go on a limb here, but a 30-minute shower isn’t out of the question.”
“Maybe he likes to get clean.”
“Maybe he’s yanking it because he doesn’t want to do it in the room if you could hear him.”
“Maybe he has a skincare routine.”
“I take long showers.”
“You’re not wrong for being upset, but YTA to ‘only pay your share!!'”
“When you can’t prove that, and bills fluctuate depending on the weather and time of year.”
“If you don’t like it, don’t renew the lease and live with him again.” ~ makethatnoise
“YTA, you don’t get to go back on an agreement when you can’t even reliably calculate how much he’s using.”
“A conversation needs to be had about him changing his habits and if you’re even compatible as roommates at this point.” ~ ohnoshedidntox
“YTA. You don’t move in with someone and decide to dictate their usage of utilities, nor use their habits as an excuse to not pay your half.”
“Don’t like it?”
“Live alone.” ~ Aidyn_the_Grey
“The AC has to compensate if they did shut it off, and the lights barely use sh*t.”
“This is not a hill to die on.” ~ Office-Scary
“I can understand why you’re frustrated with your housemate.”
“I think you could approach this in a way that would make things more amicable, though.”
“You have agreed to split the bill 50:50, so you do need to do that, I think.”
“Maybe have a discussion about how high the bill is and what a huge difference it would make adjusting the temperature of the A/C by a degree or two, or having shorter showers.”
“My husband and I share the bills 50:50.”
“He eats more than I and showers twice as often.”
“I don’t say he must pay more for the food because he eats more of it, and likewise with the shower.”
“Some things are just never going to be 100% exactly fair when you’re paying 50:50 each.”
“That’s just how things are.”
“People are different and live in different ways.”
“A discussion about how stressful the high bill is for you is the way forward here. YTA.” ~ Broken_Woman20
“YTA. You have less of a monitor and have been calculating your electric use vs his, you can’t reliably say how much each of you is spending.”
“You’d have a 50/50 agreement.”
“If you want to change that, it should be a discussion.”
“If you look at how much a light bulb costs, it ain’t much.”
“Also, more often than not if can be cheaper to run the AC consistently rather than turning it on and off several times a day.” ~ Broken-Ice-Cube
“YTA. I had a roommate who was obsessed with turning the lights off to save 50 cents a month and would turn them off when I was on the stairs, causing me to get hurt carrying something.”
“Same roommate would also constantly turn the AC off when it would be 90 degrees+ in my room.”
“You want to save a minuscule amount of money at the cost of others’ discomfort is shi**y, live by yourself if this is how you want to be.”
“And yeah, utilities go up during heat waves and cold fronts, go figure!” ~ JaggedxEDGEx
“How insane of a utility bill are we taking here?”
“Most lights use such a ridiculously low amount of energy these days, it’s not even worth arguing over.”
“Yes, of course, you should try not to be wasteful for any reason, but we are talking a fraction of a penny per hour.”
“A/C can suck a lot of power, but in some cases it makes sense to leave it on vs having to remove a huge heat load.”
“Very climate and system dependent, however.”
“If your roommate is a polar bear, north of the equator and blasting AC all day in February, yeah, that’s weird.”
“As for the shower… As with all things, that depends.”
“You may need to get over this so you can keep the peace or find a compromise.”
“Having roommates isn’t always convenient.”
“Too many variables to say if you are the one in the wrong here.” ~ snecseruza
“YTA. This doesn’t cost as much as you think.”
“A modern LED light bulb costs like $1-2/year if you leave it on all the time.”
“If the AC is a problem, install a smart thermostat.”
“I installed one in my last apartment.”
“It made a difference, but not earth-shattering.”
“All of your complaints add up to maybe the cost of a pizza.”
“If you want to argue over the cost of a pizza, then you probably shouldn’t have a roommate.” ~ BreadMaker_42
“Where do you live/what season is it?”
“It is normal for utility costs to double in the summer, and it is actually less efficient/more expensive to turn the A/C on and off because it has to work that much harder to cool the house back down after the interior temperature rises.”
“Also, leaving lights on only uses very minimal electricity.”
“A few dollars a year per lightbulb.”
“Without further context, I think YTA.”
“You have a binding agreement to pay 50/50.”
“Are you new to paying utilities?” ~ Ok_Ant_9815
“YTA, either pay up or move out.” ~ Sh0wMeY0urT*ts
Reddit is NOT with you, OP.
You made a deal.
This is the situation.
Perhaps the two of you could have a conversation with a mediator and see what can be worked out peacefully.
Good Luck.