Being a chef is not an easy gig.
Has everyone watched “The Bear?”
That show explains it all.
Chefs have rules.
And most chefs do not take kindly to breaking their rules.
It can be a whole situation.
Redditor im_gonna_eat_ya wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for denying my coworker lunch?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“So I’ve been a chef for around 4 years now, working in a lot of different environments.”
“About 6 months ago, I started in my current job, which is a private ‘restaurant’ for a senior apartment complex.”
“I’m the only chef working there 100%.”
“Other chefs only come in when I have a day off.”
“We serve a lunch menu between 12.00 and 13.00 and a 2-course dinner at 17.00.”
“I start at 10.00 and finish at 18.00, so I’m pretty busy all day between prepping, serving lunch, cleaning, ordering, taking deliveries, dinner, and closing down.”
“One of my coworkers, who’s in charge of marketing, has been asking for staff food after lunch hours are finished.”
“I always serve staff food for everyone who orders, given they order either before or during the lunch service.”
“3 days ago, she asked for a cinnamon bun, which was the dessert for the dinner that day.”
“I told her no, and explained that I only make the amount needed for the guests.”
“But that she could have one after dinner service, if there were any left.”
“She said she ‘only wants one if she can have it now’ and pretty much left it at that.”
“Yesterday she came one hour after lunch and asked for a couple of slices of bread and some salad.”
“I told her no, because all the bread I had was frozen at the time.”
“She then asked for a croissant, to which I informed her that all of them were sold during lunch.”
“She proceeded to go home for the rest of the day after telling another coworker that she ‘can’t get any food here.'”
“Then today she comes into the kitchen 5 minutes after lunch, while I’m running to clean up everything so I can start on the rest of the prep before dinner.”
“She starts, ‘I’ll have some eggs and bacon.'”
“I tell her, ‘Sorry, but lunch is over for today. ‘”
“She raises her voice at me and says, ‘Do you have something against me?!'”
“Still running to clean up, and pretty shocked, I say, ‘Against you? No? I’ve been doing lunch for the last hour?'”
“She proceeds to angrily walk up to the manager and tell her about how I’m denying her lunch.”
“Manager says I should he flexible and look for solutions instead of denying requests.”
“I probably could’ve toasted some bread to defrost it on the second occurrence, but I’d already worked my a** off that day and didn’t want to fix problems for people who can’t follow lunch times.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So am I the a**hole?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Friend, my husband has been an executive chef for 25 years (the last 15 in daily corporate dining/events). Your complaint is one I hear from him constantly.”
“I’ve worked in food service too.”
“Particularly seeing that you are alone in your kitchen, see your union or your Contract and contact your superior, with an email in writing (not a phone call, which could be disputed), stating that you have been asked for meals after hours.”
“Still, you have no support for after-hours meals (not stating the disruptive worker’s name), and the client should inform their workers that meal hours are run by one person.”
“No flexibility is available on those hours due to a lack of personnel, and you cannot deliver food after hours as you cannot guarantee it’s quality for the safety of your client.”
“I know you harbor no ill will against this worker, but she is either feeling forced to do other work during lunch time, or she uses her lunch time to do whatever, then expects YOU to pony up with lunch whenever she is ready (my husband’s team sees a lot of this). No.”
“Keep a paper trail through email. Be kind — ‘Oh, I’m so sorry, but the sandwich station is closed now for sanitation,’ but email your boss consistently and gently, stating safety and hourly regulations.”
“Good luck.” ~ 1angryravenclaw
“NTA. I think she might need some written rules she can stick to and try to get stuff.”
“She’s been winging it, and I don’t think she truly knows and understands when it’s appropriate to stop by and when it is not.” ~ OrdinaryMajestic4686
“Honestly, the whole workplace is winging it.”
“I love my job there, but the non-restaurant people have no understanding of how a kitchen works and needs to run.”
“While I’m technically the head chef, I don’t hold any actual power over anyone or anything, which puts me in a weird position when trying to establish order.”
“And since the manager what me to ‘solve’ it, I’m lost.” ~ im_gonna_eat_ya
“Mate, if you’re technically the head chef and holding it all together, be as rude as you want.”
“Head chefs have been some of the biggest psychos I’ve ever worked with.”
“They mostly liked me because I brought them drinks.”
“This place won’t function without you.”
“If this staff member can’t follow the rules, no soup for you!” ~ Ok_Work7396
“Obviously, you’re NTA.”
“While your manager is right that you could be flexible, I would still tell her no. You need to email this coworker (and cc the manager), reminding her in writing that staff lunch is available as long as it’s requested before or during the scheduled lunch service.”
“Emphasize that as soon as lunch service ends, you need to immediately break down the service, clean, and begin prep for dinner.”
“There is literally no time for you to do anything extra at that point.”
“Giving in once is like giving a mouse a muffin.”
“Just don’t.” ~ BunnySlayer64
“Actually, I don’t think OP can be flexible, as it amounts to way more work if they already started cleaning/done cleaning and start dinner with OP alone, there is a major inconvenience.”
“The coworker can be flexible and come earlier or ask when to come.” ~ Organic_Start_420
“This. NTA, as she can’t follow simple and obvious workplace rules.” ~ ServelanDarrow
“Have you communicated to her why you’re saying no, and if she was during allotted hours, the answer would be yes, or is there something in her role that makes it so she is unable to come during the stated hours?”
“If the answer is yes and no, respectively, then NTA.” ~ 2300abar
“Unsure if I’ve specified that she will receive food if she orders during lunch, but it’s always been implied, at least from my point of view.”
“She’s usually in her office or in meetings with potential residents.”
“She often comes into the kitchen before lunch to drop off dirty glasses or cups.”
“Never says anything, only if she wants to eat.”
“I find this pretty disrespectful, so I probably seem hostile towards her when she does decide to talk.” ~ im_gonna_eat_ya
“NTA. You are, however, missing an opportunity.”
“You have the right and responsibility to the kitchen workers to set reasonable expectations.”
“For instance, lunch is served ONLY between 12 and 13, and paid customers go first.”
“Place leftover food in an agreed-upon area and allow staff to choose from that food only.”
“Between 13:00 and 17:00, all staff food is self-serve only from a limited selection.”
“Same general approach for the 17:00 meal.”
“Your co-worker apparently believes you are her private chef, which is absurd and entitled as f**k.”
“By working at a senior complex, you are surrounded by people who have no understanding of your skills, your work requirements, or your multiple responsibilities.”
“If you worked at a restaurant, the respect and gratitude for your skills would be known and respected.”
“Your co-workers are clueless, so be very specific about what kitchen workers are required to do and why catering to staff is not a priority.”
I’m guessing other professionals at the senior complex are equally unappreciated for their skills: nurses, therapists, O[ccupational] T[herapist]s, P[hysical] T[herapist]s workers, accountants, drivers, librarians.”
“Find ways to support their needs for respect and professional courtesy so that they will return the favor.” ~ Ravenmn
“I would have a lengthier conversation with the manager about this.”
“That person really needs to set expectations for employee lunches, such as when they can eat and what they can eat.”
“It sounds like it’s the wild west right now.”
“That manager needs to decide when and what employees can eat.”
“Then they need to communicate that to everyone concerned.”
“Either that, or if you want to take it on, set expectations yourself.”
“Tell this woman exactly when she can come by and what she can order.”
“Explain the impact of ordering after cleanup.”
“Explain that she can’t take food from paying customers.” ~ thereisonlyoneme
“Agreed! I also wonder about management supporting both of you, something like setting boundaries about hot meal order times and providing a selection of non-perishable items (soups, ramen, granola/protein bars, etc.) that can be accessed outside of the hot meal times?” ~ Interesting_Rip3602
“NTA – sounds like she thinks it’s a universal kitchen that everyone can eat at.”
“I mean, to give you an order that wasn’t even on the menu that day is mental.”
“Set up boundaries.”
“It’s your kitchen.”
“If the manager has a problem with you denying requests, then no more requests. Problem solved.”
“If the manager doesn’t like it (I’m willing to bet they have very little experience at best with how to run a kitchen), ask them for a solution and extra compensation for handling requests that go above and beyond your scope of work.” ~ slap-a-frap
Right is with you, chef.
This woman seems to think rules don’t apply to her.
Maybe a serious chat with the two of you and management is a good idea.
She clearly doesn’t care how much work you’re putting into your day.
Good Luck.