Work friends and relationships can be an essential part of life.
Sometimes work friends become forever besties who travel the world together.
Others remain just work friends, but they make the passing hours a much more pleasant work experience.
These relationships sometimes have a tendency not to mix well with romantic partners.
Jealousy can always find a way to slither in.
Redditor Even_Masterpiece4551 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
""AITA for having my male co-worker bring me Advil for my period cramps?
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I (24 F[emale]) work at a large coffee shop chain."
"I have a coworker, Mark (21 M[ale]), who I have worked with for the past 2 years."
"Mark and I have a work friendship."
"I don’t see him outside of work, but we do text, and it’s always work-related or complaining about the problems currently in our store."
"It’s never been weird or inappropriate, just us talking about work in our messages."
"Mark has been dating Stacy (20 F) for about a year."
"She’s nice, though I really don’t know her well."
"She’s quite reserved anytime she comes to the store, and she really only comes in when he’s working and only lets him take her order."
"Onto the incident: while working, I started having the worst cramps of my life."
"Now I am not someone who usually gets cramps; if I do, they are mild and don’t last long; however, every once in a while I will have some awful pain."
"I asked everyone around me if they had any kind of painkiller."
"No one had any, but Mark was scheduled to come in soon, and there is a drug store on his way in."
"I gave him a quick call asking him to pick up some Advil for me, and I’ll pay him back."
"I didn’t give a reason why I needed it, and he didn’t ask; he just said okay."
"I got it; all was good."
"He asked why I needed it when he gave it to me."
"I joked and said that he was a man who doesn’t have woman problems."
"About 3 days later, his G[irl]F[riend] came into our work while he wasn’t there."
"She started saying how I was trying to steal her guy and that I was inappropriate with my relationship with him."
"I was confused since I had no idea what she was talking about."
"She then mentioned the Advil."
"She said that a man buying a woman products for her 'monthly time' was a romantic gesture and not just a friendly ask."
"Now I am newly married and definitely not trying to steal her guy; however, she went on and on about how this was micro-cheating, and I am tempting her B[oy]F[riend]."
"She was escorted out, and I was left humiliated."
"Some of my coworkers agree with her and say I am an a**hole for getting into their relationship, but some agree with me, where I think I did nothing wrong."
The OP was left to wonder:
"So... AITA?""
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - More Information Needed
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole.
"NTA. Asking a coworker to grab you Advil isn’t a romantic gesture, plus the conversation stayed completely work-related."
"His girlfriend’s reaction was way out of proportion." ~ DearKarley
"NTA. She’s super insecure, clearly." ~ Weaselpuss
"His girlfriend let everyone at his office know how insecure she is." ~ Shoesietart
"NTA - the gesture wasn’t intended to be romantic, nor is someone picking you up pain medication."
"However, I doubt this thought came out of the blue; there was probably a slow build of jealousy that resulted in confrontation."
"So I would stop texting outside of work even if work-related." ~ EstablishmentSoft244
"NTA. I’m a 55-year-old male teacher."
"My 30-year-old neighbor teacher GroupMe’d the entire school if anyone had Advil, like NOW."
"I was on my prep, downstairs, in my wife’s room, and got the message."
"I looked at it, asked my wife if she had it."
"Well, the wife understood immediately and gave it to me and told me to go."
"I’ve worked with mostly women my entire life, and my wife had never been (seriously) jealous."
"The accusation of trying to steal the mate seriously is unhinged."
"It really does take a village." ~ Big_Bookkeeper1678
"NTA. It's Advil, bruh, not roses."
"His girlfriend probably has some insecurities to get that upset."
"I wouldn't stress about it, to be honest." ~ FerociousTea
"NTA and anyone who thinks asking a buddy to pick up Advil on the way into work is getting involved in his romantic relationship is either young, insecure, or both."
"That's ridiculous behavior, to be honest."
"You didn't ask him to bring you tampons."
"Would anyone have thought it was a problem if you said it was for a hangover?"
"Come on, now. NTA." ~ MachineGunGlitter
"NTA. I've done this for female coworkers in the past; I'd often look for the 'maximum strength' options."
"My condolences on your struggle."
"Her reaction is the problem." ~ SuperEngine9030
"NTA. It's a painkiller, not a tampon."
"If it isn't romantic to get you Advil for a headache, neither is this."
"The girlfriend is crazy insecure and might actually be cheating herself because cheaters like to project." ~ Nightingale0666
"NTA, she's insecure and a bit nuts by the sounds."
"Even having an insecurity isn't a dealbreaker, but showing up to your work to confront you about this?"
"That poor dude."
"It's great that you two have a good work friendship."
"I hope his girlfriend doesn't ruin it for you both." ~ aido_3927
"It's not 'romantic' to buy pain medication for someone."
"I mean, unless he was hand feeding them to you while you were both naked and lying on a sex nest made of black rose petals imported from Halfeti while Barry White played on an 1877 Edison Tin-Foil Phonograph."
"Which, although it doesn't state in your post, I HIGHLY suspect was not the case 😂."
"Got carried away there. NTA." ~ Dispositionate
"WTF? NTA."
"I’ll admit I’m biased, as I did the same."
"I used to work in a field office where I usually parked near a convenience store and a drugstore."
"A few of the ladies there who sit behind me and belong to another division’s sales team would ask that favor frequently; product or painkillers."
"My wife knew, and she’s met a few of them."
"That said, I did complain about the painkillers to office management and said it should be included in the med kits."
"Lo and behold, they were there, and a quick confirmation with policy, and you could log in period pain to get them."
"My boss found it hilarious that it was a guy who pointed it out." ~ tango421
"Dude, you just asked for ADVIL."
"Where are you working where people are taking her side?"
"I don't know how any of that is romantic."
"With that same mentality, you could see it as creepy if workplaces provide hygiene products in private employee bathrooms."
"Nothing you're doing is interfering with their relationship." ~ Peebnids
"NTA- the men in my family actually carry allergy meds, Tylenol, midol and pads and stuff into their work, and keep stuff stocked for everyone cuz they also think it’s stupid it’s not provided. "
"We’re a family of mostly women, and the men just kinda realized how horrible a situation can turn for women, and it became a thing."
"Helping a human being is not romantic."
"If you're not helping a human being in pain simply because it’s that time of the month, you're being a sexist a**."
"To me, this is why it’s a problem that basic human decency is considered the bare minimum of romance."
"It should be the bare minimum of being human- effort should be needed for romance."
"And if you’re in a relationship, you shouldn’t have to be an a-hole to other people so your partner feels secure."
"This is all crazy to me." ~ WhyNot_ThinkCritical
"NTA. I am a guy and usually have Advil and Tylenol handy in case of migraines and such, and will offer them if someone is suffering."
"If your text started with 'Hey babe...' I can see why she was upset, but from the sound of it, you asked a colleague to pick something up for you, and they did."
"I wouldn't care, and my wife wouldn't have any problem with it, so you are not TA for it."
"It could get murky if it is less platonic from his end and she knows."
" f he talks about how attractive you are, how smart, how funny, etc she may be concerned he has a crush on you, or he may have admitted to having one, at which point she will be more likely to see anything he does for you as problematic."
"Likewise, if he has a history of cheating, or if her ex cheated, even an innocent gesture could be misinterpreted. None of that makes you TA, but it could explain why she reacted so seemingly irrationally." ~ dave7243
"NTA. I have asked my best friend, who happens to be a man, to get me pads and all sorts of things."
"It's never romantic."
"It's being there for a friend."
"She feels threatened."
"He did you a favor."
"Mark needs to look out for more red flags."
"Also, you did not get into their relationship LOL."
"She is the only one who made it about that." ~ angel9_writes
"100% NTA."
"I sense a lot of insecurity coming from his GF."
"She’s young, and her brain isn’t fully developed quite yet."
"Unless she starts coming around the store and attempts to harass or intimidate you, I wouldn’t pay her any mind." ~ OkWillingness637
Reddit is 1000% with you, OP.
This was wild. Thank you for sharing.
Mark may want to do some soul-searching about his relationship.
You didn't ask for something scandalous...
It was Advil!
