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Agnostic Woman Livid After Her Christian Sister Refuses To Respect Her Boundaries

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Religious is always a touchy subject–so much so that religious difference often have the power to tear families apart.

That’s the situation a woman on Reddit found herself in with her sister. So, she took her sibling drama to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for some perspective.

The Original Poster (OP), who goes by ButterBody95 on the site, asked:

“AITA for telling my sister that if she’s going to spread the word of god to leave me out of it or leave me alone altogether?”

She explained:

“Mine (25F[emale]) and my sister’s (27F[emale]) relationship has always been strained due to total difference in personality, views, and morals. We just started talking again on New years Eve after having no communication for 7 months.

“She is fully aware that I am agnostic and hold resentment for Christianity. About 2 years ago we had many conversations about how my boyfriend at the time kept pushing how he wants me to accept Christ, and that it upset me because he knew I didn’t believe and was never going to.”

“At that time, she agreed with me that it is not his place to push his faith on me, as she was not Christian either. Today she texted me and these are the exact words that were exchanged:”

“Sis: Please accept Jesus into your heart soon. He loves you and so do I. I know you dont believe but I really hope you reconsider. I love you.”

“Me: Lmao I love you too Please just don’t send me texts like that man. I don’t like being preached at and I will never reconsider. Thanks though”

“Sis: Im not preaching at you. That’s how you see it. Jesus loves you and if you don’t want to accept him i can’t force you. Just pray for you and i am going to spread the word of god.”

“Me: Stop. Seriously. Don’t talk to me about it. I don’t text you and stay please stop believing. So stop. If you’re going to spread the word of God and involve me I’m not going to talk to you. It makes me uncomfortable. So kindly, don’t.”

“Sis: You dont have to get so angry. I never prached to you. I said one thing. You can stop talking to me that’s your choice. But im not gonna silence myself to certain people. Sorry. Its probably for the best anyway.”

“Me: Okay bye It is also your choice to preach at people who clearly don’t want to hear it. Christianity makes me angry. The things you said made me angry. You don’t get to dictate how your words make me feel.”

“So enjoy spreading the word of god. That’s YOUR choice. I will not pretend to be okay with you talking to me about things that make me uncomfortable.”

“You don’t have to silence yourself. Just leave me out of your spread, or leave me alone entirely.”

“Sis: Ill leave you alone. If christiany makes you angry i unfortunately how no interest you being in my life.”

“You shouldn’t let words make you so angry. I wish you all the best. I hope your eyes will open soon before its too late.”

“Am I the a**hole for my reaction after I told her to stop and she didn’t?”

“TLDR: sister that I don’t get along with texted me asking to accept Jesus into my heart knowing I disagree entirely with christianity. Told her not to preach to me or leave me alone entirely.”

OP’s fellow Redditors were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this situation using the following acronyms.

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

And many of them—including some Christians themselves—were firmly on the OP’s side.
“NTA. It’s people like that who give the rest of us a bad rap. If someone comes to me asking about Christianity, I’ll talk to them about it. Otherwise I won’t go trying to preach. Everyone is entitled to their own set of beliefs.”Telal15

“it’s like the jehova’s witnesses: their preaching’s goal is to make the members of the cult experience constant rejection which makes them feel isolated from the outside world, through which the bonds inside the group are strenghtened. it’s so cult-y and unhealthy, but it’s also really hard to see it for what it is once you’re ‘in’.”soursheep

“NTA. You told her calmly and respectfully that “hey I’m not into religion please stop preaching at me. You can do what you feel is best but leave me out of the religious stuff” she turned around tried to gaslight you and tried to shove religion down your throat. She got mad when she was called on it…”Alyssa_Hargreaves

“NTA, it seems to be difficult for some religious people to understand that some of us don’t want any religion. And they can’t change our minds. So while you are not TA I do think you should consider going LC or NC with her until she understands having no religion is your religion. Best of luck”lacitar

“NTA. I would’ve said worse.”popebologna

“NTA. You very politely asked her not to talk about religion with you, and she gaslit you by saying she wasn’t preaching to you, and then refused to respect your request.”photosbeersandteach

“NTA. Your sister is the complete A. Bigggg A.”

“Sorry, Christianity seems to do that to a lot of people.”l3rambi

“NTA I hope this is okay to say but I am a christian and as far as i’m concerned your sister did not behave in a Christlike way. We are called to show love to everyone regardless of their religious (or not!) beliefs.”

“You cannot convert someone who isnt already looking for something and continuing to try can be annoying at best and downright harmful at worst. Your sister knew your feelings and showed a lack of respect and kindness by pushing the issue.”Squidstickss

Here’s hoping the OP’s sister can learn to live and let live.

Written by Peter Karleby

Peter Karleby is a writer, content producer and performer originally from Michigan. His writing has also appeared on YourTango, Delish and Medium, and he has produced content for NBC, The New York Times and The CW, among others. When not working, he can be found tripping over his own feet on a hiking trail while singing Madonna songs to ward off lurking bears.