Driving to and from the airport can be a pain.
It can be especially stressful with early morning and late night flights.
Friends and family do it for one another, but shuttle services and Ubers have become more popular.
But not for everyone…
Redditor West-Construction-27 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
“AITA for refusing to drive my husband to/from the airport for his work trips?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“AITA for refusing to drive my husband to/from the airport for his work trips?”
“I am 29 F[emale and my husband, 30 M[ale], we live in a suburb 45 minutes from Boston.”
“Currently, I work in a town 45 minutes from our home, Monday through Friday, 7:30 am to 4:00 pm, and my husband works remotely from home unless he has a business trip.”
“Most of these business trips are commutable by car, but there are still a few that require air travel.”
“These trips normally have early/late hours of take off and touch down, like 5 am and 10 pm out of Boston.”
“His company covers all travel expenses, including flights, Uber, and shuttle transportation.”
“Several times now, my husband has asked me to drop him off or pick him up from the airport.”
“This includes times that would be late the day before work or very early on one of my few days off during the week.”
“When asked why he’d like me to do it instead of just using one of the paid-for services his company provides, he says he wants to see his wife before he leaves and see her right when he gets back.”
“He says that the company would reimburse us ‘mileage’ if I drive him, which is about $60 per trip to the airport.”
“However, I would like to, instead of driving him, get more sleep and be relaxed when I see him after a trip, or do some household chores I don’t always have the time for.”
“If his company pays for transfers and I don’t need to, I do not think it is the responsibility of the spouse to drive their partner to their job at odd hours and in often heavy traffic.”
“I am willing to wait an hour to see my husband, but I have no time to relax or do household chores.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for holding a boundary between me and my husband’s work?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. It’s not wrong for him to want that.”
“But it IS unreasonable for him to expect that, or to imply that you’re in the wrong for saying no.” ~ smallishbear-duck
“She’s getting up a lot earlier than 4 am if the flight itself is at 5 am.”
“Ridiculous expectation on his part.” ~ 99sports
“Agreed. Perhaps she can offer a compromise just so he’ll refuse and take the darn paid-for-by-wok option.”
“Say they normally go to sleep every evening at 10.”
“She can drive him to the airport the night before and arrive back home in time to go to bed on schedule, so she has enough sleep before her own job the next day.”
“If he arrives at midnight on the return flight, he can sit in the airport until she comes the next morning.”
“Either he takes what his work offers or he waits and amuses himself until she is available.” ~ Relatents
“Seriously. I fly relatively frequently from an airport 45 minutes from my home, and I wouldn’t dream of asking my wife to drop me off or pick me up.”
“That’s 1.5 hours of her time, not including the potential for rush hour traffic after the early morning drop off or fighting it for an evening pickup.”
“NTA OP, your hubs is not really appreciating what he’s asking.” ~ Intelligent-Panda-33
“All of this.”
“I travel for work and often take early am or late evening flights cause it works best with our schedules with kids.”
“I would never ask my husband to get out of bed or stay up late to take me to/from the airport.”
“I get paid mileage and the cost to park at the airport, so you bet I’m parking in the closest lot and enjoying my quiet 45-minute ride.” ~ annagrace00
“NTA, I often have work trips that require me to go to the airport.”
“I live 10 minutes from the airport and have rarely had to be picked up/dropped off at unreasonable times.”
“If my husband did not want to pick me up, I would take an Uber.”
“I make sure to let him know this. It’s not his job to pick me up, and there isn’t a ‘let’s save money for us’ reason not to use alternatives (since the company is paying).”
“Asking is reasonable, but expecting is not.”
“There’s no reason she needs to do this beyond his comfort, and frankly, that’s not more important than her comfort/time.” ~ Wandering_Scholar6
“NTA, I have business trips where everything is paid for too, and would never think of asking a family member or S[ignificant] O[ther] to pick or send me to the airport… why should they waste the time and effort?”
“Especially the 5 am one, bad enough that I have to wake up that early, why would I want to drag someone else into suffering such timing with me?” ~ uselessprofession
“NTA. That reimbursement is only for the miles on your vehicle.”
“Your time is also valuable.”
“Surely your husband’s company would also pay for a taxi.” ~ TrappedInHyperspace
“NTA. Travel to and from the airport is part of his work commute, just like your daily 45-minute commute to and from your job.”
“Since he normally works from home most days, maybe you can suggest that he drive you to and from work a couple of times a month.” ~ DrawSudden2494
“NAH for asking.”
“If he constantly bugged you about it, though, and pouted, I would go with NTA.”
“His reasoning is cute, very TV and movie scene, honestly.”
“Does he expect you to park and go in, or just drop him off at the curb?”
“If he’s someone who doesn’t ask for much, and does a lot for me, I would probably do one way every once in a while to make him happy.”
“Relationships are about compromising.”
“If he takes 6 trips in a year, driving him 3 times isn’t really that much.”
“But it would really depend on the dynamics of the relationship.”
“If he doesn’t really understand what you would be giving up, wouldn’t appreciate you giving up the time and sleep, or I was always taking on the hard adult tasks… take an Uber, dude.” ~ starry_nite99
“NTA. It’s nice he wants to see you, but those are crap times to travel, and it’s an hour and a half for you, at these crap times of day.”
“That he can do for free.”
“If I had to do a 45-minute drive, arrival at 5 am, the time it took for me to dress and wake up enough to be able to drive someone to the airport, I’d have to get up at 3 am, then wait for them to check in, and then get home again?”
“Heeeeeeeell no.”
“All the way no.” ~ Napalm_Springs
“NTA. OMG, if his company is paying for the service to get him to and from your apartment, tell him he needs to use it!”
“Meanwhile, when he gets reimbursed for the mileage, is he pocketing that?”
“Seems like that might be what he’s trying to do rather than needing to see you before he gets out of the car at the airport.” ~ Possible_Raspberry75
“NTA, in addition to wanting to see you, he’s also probably thinking it’s an extra $60 per trip in your pockets.”
“If he is still insistent, maybe compromise one trip… then perhaps he’ll see how exhausted and cranky you are and start taking the other transportation.” ~ soaringcats
“NTA. My husband travels for work, while I have a job with a rigid schedule that requires me to be well rested (elementary school teacher).”
“We live far closer to the airport than you do, and I still won’t drive him if it interferes with my sleep (especially on a weeknight) or would require me to take time off of work, as I only get a couple of personal days for the year.”
“I’ll do it if it falls at a good time, but my drive is much shorter than yours and in lower traffic.”
“I don’t know if I’d be willing to do 3 hours (1.5 hours round trip on each end) in Boston traffic regardless of timing, and I doubt my husband would want me to.”
“It’s just a lot of unnecessary stress and wasted time driving.” ~ OtherPossibility1530
“NTA, but your husband sure is a selfish one.”
“My husband does a lot of traveling, where he has to leave early in the morning.”
“Not once has he expected me to drop him off at the airport.”
“Instead, he tries to get ready quietly in the morning so he doesn’t disturb my sleep.”
“Your husband sounds only focused on what ‘he’ would like, not what is best for you or looking out for you.” ~ Divine_in_Us
“NTA at all.”
“If they pay for Uber, he needs to use it.”
“You have a job that is regular business hours, and you deserve to get proper sleep because of it.
“You’ll be there when he gets home.”
“He’s being selfish by thinking about what he wants when it is stressing you out!” ~ Busy_Raisin_6723
“You work. NTA.”
“It’s unreasonable and frankly childish not to use Uber/Lyft.”
“Perhaps he’s cheap and wants the $60 per trip?”
“I’ve heard of crazier.”
“I use Uber, and I’m 15 minutes from the airport.”
“It’s ridiculous to expect my wife to rearrange her schedule.” ~ 182RG
Reddit understands your frustration, OP.
Though on paper, it seems like his reasoning is romantic, it’s also time-consuming.
If the company is covering it, he should travel that way.
Maybe if you share the Reddit thread with him, he’ll understand.
Good Luck.