There’s very little more exciting than a big trip.
However, the “getting there” portion of the trip is never particularly fun.
And we’re not even talking about the final destination.
Indeed, the low point of any trip is almost always getting to the airport.
Redditor danyellitaz and her husband were both excited about a long-in-the-works trip to celebrate a very special occasion.
Unfortunately, the original poster (OP) and her husband could not agree on when to get to the airport to get the trip going.
With the OP’s husband even going so far as to call her “selfish”.
Wondering if this was the case, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for wanting to leave early to the airport for our first international flight?”
The OP explained why her honeymoon was not getting off to the best start with her husband:
“Me (31 F[emale]) and my husband (32 M[ale]) are going on our first trip to Japan for our honeymoon/1st year wedding anniversary.”
“Our flight is in less than 2 days and we are in disagreement as to how early we should be arriving to the airport.”
“Our flight departs LAX airport at 11:30am and I want to be at the airport by 7:30am (4 hours before departure).”
“He wants to be at the airport by 9:30am (2 hours before departure).”
“For context, He has never flown international and is afraid of flying so his anxiety is very high right now.”
“He claims he doesn’t want to end up waiting at the airport extra time before the flight because the anticipation will make his anxiety worse.”
“I myself am anxious that if we don’t allow ourselves extra time for things to go wrong and for possible traffic delays (we live 1.5 hours away from LAX) then we could end up missing our flight.”
“For further context, I have planned this entire trip myself with very little input from him.”
“By his choice because he has been anxious just thinking about flying for 12 hours on a plane.”
“I researched, purchased the tickets, booked hotels and excursions, prepared the itinerary and arranged for our ride to and from the airport.”
“I am adamant about arriving 4 hours early due to a stormy weather forecast, government shutdown chaos, possible traffic delays as we approach the Los Angeles area and also to allow time to eat breakfast and relax before the flight.”
“He says I am selfish (an a**hole?) and don’t care about his anxiety for possibly making him wait at the airport for a longer time before the flight.”
“Am I the a**hole?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for wanting to arrive at the airport four hours early.
Everyone agreed that the OP was only taking every precaution into account, with some pointing out she was going by most airlines’ recommendations. Others pointed out that if anything could make her husband’s anxiety worse, it would be cutting it too close to the flight:
“NTA – airlines explicitly tell you to arrive at least three hours early for an international flight.”
“If you’re flying in the next few days, you absolutely need to get there 4 hours early because of the reasons you outlined.”
“Sincerely, an Angeleno who has never gotten to LAX in less than 45 minutes, and I live in Hollywood, not 1.5 hrs away.”- Filosifee
“I have a rule.”
“If I don’t plan any of the trip, then I roll with the trip planner’s agenda.”
“You put in how many ridiculous hours of research?”
“The man can roll into the airport two hours earlier than his preference.”
“It’s already a tough airport then add it the lingering traffic controller chaos + customs?”
“If he continues to complain, then tell him you’re going to be at the airport 4 hours early.”
“He can plan one tiny portion of his trip and decide how to get himself to the airport in his desired 2-hour window.”
“NTA.”
“PS: Tell the man to get a prescription for an anti-anxiety.”
“Not being mean, there’s just no reason for him to spend so much time having anxiety over having anxiety.”- Unfair_Bonus_3225
“NTA.”
“Before the pandemic, I traveled internationally a few times a year.”
“For all of the reasons you mention, I’d try to get there by 730, too.”
“I’m a planner and preparer, and I’m usually responsible for other people who are not prepared.”
“That extra time keeps me calm and lets me be more helpful to them.”
“If your husband’s anxiety is this bad, I suspect leaving the house later isn’t going to reduce it because he knows he will have to go eventually.”
“I’d also respectfully suggest he check with a physician about a short-acting sedative like Valium.”-matchy_blacks
“Absolutely NTA.”
“Most of these commentators have NEVER flown out of LAX, and it shows.”
“It’s taken me an hour JUST to drive from the LAX freeway exit to the drop-off zone before.”
“Coupled that with the air traffic control/flight cancellation fiasco, I’d say 4 hours is actually the minimum.”
“LAX is large too, and you may need to bus inter-terminally, which takes time as well.”
“DON’T RISK YOUR FLIGHT.”- Majestic-Series1837
“3 hours before international flights, especially if you’re checking bags and don’t have pre-check or Clear.”
“I don’t know if you’re going out of the international terminal or not, but that security checkpoint can be hit or miss, speaking from experience.”
“Course that can be security anywhere, but still.”
“LAX used to be my base airport, so I feel your pain. Three hours should be fine.”
“Plus the government shutdown is over (or it was reported to be over when I looked earlier so pardon me if I’m wrong).”
“Anyway, if he puts his foot down about longer than 2 hours, explain to him that if he thinks he’s going to be anxious in the airport waiting, that’s nothing compared to the anxiety that he’ll feel if you guys are in a big security line and at risk of missing an international flight.”
“Get there earlier.”
“NTA.”
“Are you going business?”
“Can you access a lounge?”- DarthRedYoga
There were others, however, who didn’t think the OP was selfish for wanting to get to the airport 4 hours ahead, but sympathized with her husband’s anxiety, with some even wondering if he even wanted to go on this trip:
“As much as I hate to reduce a marital dispute like this to ‘you’re right, he’s wrong’, I used to fly out of that terminal a lot for business, and … you’re right.”
“Especially with the current disruption with flights, but in the best of times LAX generally, and that terminal particularly, are a crap shoot, and with your travel time as a consideration planning to arrive 4 hours before your flight is the right move.”
“BUT, does your husband even really want to go on this trip?”
“At all?”
“To a person with anxiety about planes, LAX to Japan would be nightmare fuel.”
“You’re in the air for 12 hours, likely in the plane for closer to 14.”
“Add the time before the flight and the time to clear customs and get out of the airport on the other side, and that’s 20 hours of hell.”
“You said you’ve done all the planning, because he is anxious, but are you sure that he’s not trying to tell you something here?”
“It sounds like this trip is really important to you, but I strongly suggest that you sit down and talk with him, and make sure he’s not just agreeing so as not to disappoint you.”
“I’m afraid you’re setting you both up for a horrible situation when he finally loses it and can’t get on the plane.”
“Blessings on you both, whatever you decide.”
“NAH.”- OfAnOldRepublic
“NAH.”
“It’s recommended you get to the airport about 3 hours before an international flight.”
“I’d compromise and do that instead.”- crackerfactorywheel
The OP later returned with an update, sharing how things eventually turned out for their honeymoon:
“We left our house with the intentions of getting there 4 hours early.”
“We left early enough that we missed the heavy rain pouring down and the accidents that followed near the LA/LAX area.”
“Everything went smoothly, and we were at our gate within an hour.”
“We ended up with 3 hours to kill before our flight (husband was not happy about this, of course), but he got over it quickly.”
“We got breakfast, sat down, and relaxed.”
“My brother, who dropped us off, got stuck in loads of traffic on the way back, unfortunately.”
“Anyways, we made it to Japan and are enjoying every second of it!”
Anxiety is easily triggered, often in the most unlikely and unexpected of places.
It did seem that the anxiety of the OP’s husband was likely going to be set off by any number of things surrounding this trip.
Thankfully, it seems all went well, and the OP and her husband are enjoying their honeymoon.
Now the question is, how early will they get to the airport for their flight home…?