Deaths should be a moment where family members come together to support one another through their grief.
Unfortunately, when a will is involved, the opposite can often happen.
Redditor Ok_Oil_324 recently learned this the hard way when her aunts came after her inheritance from her late mother.
The interactions drove the Original Poster (OP) to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
She asked:
“AITA for not sharing my inheritance?”
The OP went on to provide more context.
“I [25-year-old Female] recently lost my mother to cancer. Me and my brother [35-year-old Male] are her only children.”
“For the past seven years, I’ve been staying in an apartment my mother bought.”
“She always told me that when she died, she wanted me to have it because she worked so hard to ensure I always had somewhere to live.”
“So when she died, she left me the apartment in the will. My brother has no issue with this. He makes more than enough of his own money and actually owns an apartment in the same building.”
“However, my aunts (A and B) have an issue with this. A has had money issues for as long as I’ve known her, and my mother was always helping her out with money when she was alive.”
“B is financially stable but in no position to help A.”
“They both think that since I make enough money to be able to rent a place, I should let A stay in the apartment and rent my own because that’s what my mother would have wanted.”
“I said no, stating that my mother wanted me to have a place of my own. I am currently saving all the money I would have used on rent and intend to buy my own house when I have enough saved.”
“When I said no, they then suggested that I should share some of the money my mother left me with them. She had two life insurance policies, both of which went only to my brother and me.”
“She also left us the house and her car. Basically, everything was split between my brother and me and no one else got anything.”
“My aunts feel that this was wrong and that they, especially A, deserve some of the money.”
“My brother blocked them all on platforms when they asked this of him and suggests I do the same, but I feel guilty about cutting off my family.”
“But I also feel strongly that if my mother wanted them to get money, she would have left them something. But she didn’t. She chose to leave EVERYTHING to my brother and me.”
“My aunts are saying that my mother did that because she assumed we would share. But I knew my mother. She would have told me if she wanted me to do that.”
“All she said was that she wanted to die knowing that me and my brother would be able to support ourselves.”
“So, AITA for not giving money to A or allowing A to stay in my apartment?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“There is absolutely no way you’re the AH in this situation.”
“Sorry for your loss, but I’m afraid the only way forward is to cut your toxic aunties out of the picture, as your brother did.”
“NTA” – SybariticDelight
“SIBLINGS ARE NEVER ENTITLED TO INHERITANCE!!!!!!”
“OP, your aunts have ZERO right to your mom’s inheritance. It goes spouse then offspring then back to parents before going to sibs if there are no specific stipulations in the will.”
“Block them. They’ve now revealed themselves as the type to rush in and steal all the silver before the body is cold.”
“Go NC [no contact] for good and never pay attention to a single peep no matter their circumstance. It sounds like your mother was a lovely woman, but she let your aunts take advantage of her.”
“You shouldn’t do the same.”
“eta NTA” – Throwawayhater3343
“NTA.”
“1. Everyone can do what they want with their money. Everyone should respect that.”
“Your mother decided to give you and your brother everything, so making sure that happens is respecting her wishes and memory.”
“2. I’ve dealt with an inheritance mooch in my family. If you ever give them anything, they will never give you peace until you die. There will always be a reason for you to give them more.”
“3. 2 caused 1, in my opinion. Your mother understood the ethics of her sisters and left them nothing because they don’t have any.”
“4. If you–unwisely, IMO–follow my bad example and compromise with the dysfunctionality of an inheritance mooch, your best hope (not that it’s a good one) is to make them sign a legal document to the effect that this is a one-shot adjustment and that any attempt to get anything more for any reason will result in you cutting off contact with them.”
“It probably won’t help. You will probably hear those tiny violin strings often.”
“5. Your brother is doing exactly the right thing.”
“If all the honorable people in the world refuse to deal with all the people trying to prey on their good natures, the former will be free of toxic people, and the latter will have to deal with each other.”
“6. Here’s a good rule to determine toxicity… if you’re in doubt. Would you or anyone you respect do this?”
“I’m imagining my brother and sister-in-law dying and my nephew getting everything when he is well off and I am poor. It’s laughable to think I would ask my nephew for a piece of the pie.”
“That would make as much sense to me as walking down to a bank and asking them for some money since they have so much.” – Sea_Speed9807
“NTA, your aunt wants you to RENT a place? And give HER your apartment? The one you’ve been living in for years? The same one your mother wanted YOU to keep?”
“The audacity… I wish you good luck with such relatives. I’m really sorry for your loss…” – IRoastRudePeople
“NTA – A is being a very entitled vulture, and your brother is wise in blocking her.”
“It’s one thing to say, ‘Hey I’m not doing very well financially. Any chance I could bunk in at your house now that there’s a room?’…”
“and ’Hey, you need to move out of your family home and go rent somewhere else because you have money’”
“The fact that she’s the latter is a big red flag. Stay awayyyyyyy” – ThomzLC
“Nta.”
“‘because that’s what my mother would have wanted.’”
“Such sh*t reasoning. Your mum said what she wanted in her will. I have family members like this and expect the same problems when my grandparents pass.”
“Ignore them, block them, f*ck them. She wanted you to have a home, not for you to continue on the cycle of being used by family.” – thisistemporary1213
“NTA and your brother is right. Block them. Their behavior is shameful.” – PsiBlaze
“NTA. Take your brother’s advice.”
“Note that in most jurisdictions ( in the US), if your mom didn’t have a will, the aunts wouldn’t be entitled to anything. The fact that your mom specifically left them out speaks volumes.”
“Stop listening to them, and put aside any guilt. Otherwise, they will bleed you dry. Don’t be their ATM. If needed, go no contact.” – Hot_Aside_4637
“NTA.”
“Ant and the Grasshopper. They didn’t bother to plan ahead, so why, exactly, is it your job to parent full-grown adults?”
“It’s not.” – canvasshoes2
“NTA and follow your brother’s lead. Your mother left them nothing because she wanted you and bro to be taken care of.”
“Do not, under any circumstances, fall for their nonsense. You’re 25 and just starting out in life. You need all the help you can get.”
“Your aunts are grown women and should have figured their situation out decades ago” – FortuneTellingBoobs
“NTA. Speaking as a mother: I want to take care of my children, not of my siblings. Your mother made her will intentionally. She had time for it.”
“She also had time to tell you if she would want you to share with anyone. She didn’t. And it doesn’t make any sense at all that you would be required, at the age of 25, to take care of your aunt.” – Jocelyn-1973
“100% NTA. I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing your mom at 25 is a sh*tty deal. Having your aunts come after you for money instead of trying to help you cope with your loss is even sh*ttier.”
“I n f o: I’m just super curious — is there some reason your aunts think they “deserve” part of your mom’s estate, other than that they want/need it and were previously able to mooch off of her?”
“Were they going over and above in caring for your mom during years of illness or something?”
“Leaving all the money/property to the kids is exactly what everyone “should have” expected in this case.” – PurpleVermont
“NTA, and it sounds like you already know this. Don’t let family guilt make you feel selfish. You’re not.”
“Like you said, if your mom wanted them to have anything, she would’ve left it in the will. Your aunts sound very greedy, and I’d follow in the same path your brother did if I were you. Blocked and NC.” -Revolutionary-Hat407
Hopefully, the OP can mourn in peace in the comfort of her own home.