Enlisting the help of a babysitter to watch one’s children demands a whole lot of trust.
Whether the sitter comes highly regarded from a trusted referral, or it’s a family member or a friend, nothing raises the stakes quite like the safety and well-being of a child.
A recent post on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit illustrated the lengths some parents go to ensure that safety.
The Original Poster (OP), known as jonesbbqqq on the site, used the post’s title to explain the source of conflict.
“AITA for getting uncomfortable about hidden cameras around the house I [20-year-old female] babysit for?”
OP began by sharing a recent, surprising incident.
“I babysit my boyfriend’s 9-month-old baby cousin for his aunt 3 times a week and I was never made aware of cameras around the house directly pointed at me.”
“This makes me extremely uncomfortable because I had no clue and it’s been weeks and now know I’ve changed in front of the cameras and stuff.”
“Today, every time I opened the baby’s door I heard a camera click on and I realized that I was being watched.”
Then OP shared some reflections.
“I am 100000% okay with cameras to watch babysitters! Especially when they’ve had a bad experience in the past. I work in childcare and babysitting and fully support checking on those watching your kids!”
“But I also believe I deserve privacy OR I should at least be made aware that I am being watched. I have no clue if they’re on, if they’re being checked, or if there’s more somewhere else.”
“I brought it up to my boyfriend and his mom called the baby’s mom (my boyfriends aunt) and apparently got mad at her.”
Then word made it to the baby’s father.
“The father then came home unexpectedly and absolutely ripped me a new one for telling my boyfriend I was uncomfortable.”
“He started telling me the cameras didn’t work, but I told him it turns on every time i walk in so I know it’s on. then told me they don’t even have time to check them, and then he also said it was actually so their neighbor can watch him, not them.”
OP felt stuck.
“So I was just confused, alone in the house with his angry father who makes me extremely uncomfortable to begin with.”
“Like he was just piling on excuses and getting mad that I had an issue with the fact that I didn’t know. He said that’s the point of home security but I told him that I’m a young woman and would prefer to know when I am being watched.”
“He was so rude to me about talking to my boyfriend about how I feel. I didn’t know my bf was going to tell his mom and start a huge deal.”
But she had some views to share.
“I told the baby’s father that as a young woman, secretly being monitored like that makes me very uncomfortable and I just would have liked to know so I was aware just in case I had to change.”
“He got pi**ed and said that it’s “not about that” and I know that but I was just telling him my concerns.”
“He told me I should never be reaching out to my bf about absolutely anything and must text him but he makes me uncomfortable and I never feel like I can talk to him.”
Again, OP found herself counting the seconds.
“I just had to sit there alone while this man I barely know angrily barged in and absolutely roasted me for being uncomfortable?”
“It just doesn’t sit right with me and it just made me feel even worse about things:(“
She then turned to Redditors.
“AITA for getting uncomfortable and talking to my bf?”
“Like i said i know it’s their house, their baby, their right to have cameras. But I also feel like it’s my right to feel uncomfortable not having known and to talk to my own boyfriend about things.”
“I would have been fine had they just said ‘oh yeah we have those and check once in a while!’ Instead of getting mad at me for feeling uncomfortable.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors not only assured OP that she not the a**hole, but speculated something else was likely going on here.
“NTA. While it does make sense to have cameras watching a babysitter just in case, you should have been notified.”
“Kinda seems like he might have been watching you and now that he’s been caught he’s making excuses.”
“I would consider quitting this babysitting job if i was you.” — chickenwing4life
“NTA….the baby’s father got mad because he now knows that you know he recorded you changing. And yes, he DID watch the video of you changing by now if he hasn’t watched it already. He secretly recorded you changing.”
“That’s creepy. I also think it may be illegal if you were unaware you were being recorded. Edit. Baby’s dad is in deep sh**.” — TurdFrgoson
One person shared a lengthy analysis.
“NTA. The father sounds 100% like he wanted you to not know they were there so he could potentially peep on you changing.”
“When you figured it out he got upset and tried to manipulate you about the cameras and their purpose so you would doubt yourself and not feel outraged enough to tell anyone else.”
“The fact he told you to reach out to HIM about your outrage about HIS behavior points to the fact that he knows what he is doing is wrong and wants to control the situation.”
“I think that cameras to watch the babysitter is not a bad idea, but you absolutely need to let them know they are there specifically for the reason that happened to you.”
“I would not ever set foot in that house again if I were you, and you absolutely need to inform your b/f about his father’s behavior and what he asked of you (to go to him with concerns, etc.). If he is not properly outraged or wanting to stand up for you, then I would be seriously concerned.” — Dr_A**hole_PhD
Others gave some very direct and serious advice.
“NTA. That’s shady as hell not making you aware of the cameras and worrying that you unknowingly changed in front of them. His violent reaction was worrying too. This house is full of red flags, leave and don’t go back.” — Dont-trust-it
“NTA. And do not babysit for them again. Not because of the cameras but because of the father’s behavior. He sounds unsafe.” — Squinky75
“NTA – hugely NTA. Quit that job. Never be alone with that guy again. Listen to your instincts. The body KNOWS. Tell your bf that his uncle cornered you alone and crept you out.”
“There is no way people act this shady if they aren’t doing anything creepy/wrong.” — DrBezwik
So if OP does indeed deem Redditors a credible source of wisdom and insight, her post may have saved her from a seriously bad situation.