Community gardens have become so popular over the decades.
They’re especially fancied in big cities, where gardens are sparse.
But community gardens can hold a lot of drama.
Everybody isn’t always the best neighbor, and this can stir up the mulch.
Redditor ThickBus3577 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for banning my neighbor from our community garden?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I live in a small apartment building with a shared garden at the back.”
“We all get one raised bed. “
‘My neighbor (Lisa) always ‘forgets’ tools, leaves her weeds on the path, and sometimes last year she accidentally pulled up half my carrots thinking they were weeds.”
“I was annoyed, but I let it go.”
“This year, I finally grew perfect tomatoes.”
“I’ve been babying them for months.”
“One day, I came out to find Lisa picking them.”
“A whole bowlful.”
“She smiled and told me they looked so ripe, and she thought she’d help before the birds got them.”
“I snapped and told her those were mine, and she had no right, and that she’s consistently disrespectful of the shared space.”
“I suggested that until she learns to ask and clean up after herself, she’s not to use the garden.”
“Our building’s group chat agreed.”
“She respected the exclusion but was so furious and said I’d publicly shamed her over a few tomatoes and that I overreacted.”
“Even my closest neighbor took her side on that and said I was just not willing to share and could have left her alone after the warning.”
“I felt bad and tried to talk to everyone to forget the whole thing and let her use the garden, but no one agreed.”
“Even the neighbor who took her side was silent when she could have voted in support.”
“To be honest, my reaction was from the anger from the tomato incident, not really her general behavior.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So… AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA, she was just straight up stealing; she knew those weren’t her tomatoes.”
“Also, if literally not one person spoke up when you tried to bring her back into the garden, suggests to me she’s been pissing everyone off, and no one wants her there, even the neighbor who took her side.” ~ cheesecatsvideogames
“NTA. I have a blood feud with the doves in my area because one of those sons of a bi*ch ate my very first ripe tomato of the season.”
“I had even looked at it the day before and knew it would be perfect the next day.”
‘And an a**hole dove ate half of it.”
“I may have netting now, but I will never forgive the entire flock nor their descendants.”
“If my neighbor did it???”
“Oh, I’d have gone feral.” ~ baconbitsy
“Tomatoes automatically mean you’re… NTA.”
“She was straight up trying to rob you of one of the simplest pleasures in life.”
“The only time I didn’t get pouty when someone would steal from my garden was when my brother’s Irish Wolfhound would carefully and delicately eat every goddamn strawberry I had, but can’t get mad at the Best Boy.” ~ soupboyfanclub
“Why do you feel bad?”
“Yes, you publicly shamed her over some tomatoes, AS YOU SHOULD HAVE!”
“Look, people don’t have to take their medicine, and thank you, they just need to take their medicine, and if this neighbor would rather maintain an alliance with her thats cool.”
“Everyone doesn’t have to agree and be happy about everything all the time.”
“That nonsense is why you lost your carrots last year.”
“Sometimes we must correct behavior. NTA.” ~ pottersquash
“NTA, she suck,s and she stole your stuff.”
“You don’t have to back down just cause some other doormat says you should lie down flatter.” ~ BigWeinerDemeanor
“She wasn’t helping pick your tomatoes for you.”
“She was helping herself and wasn’t going to ask you if she could have some.” ~ BookishIntrovert99
“NTA. If Lisa doesn’t like being publicly shamed, she shouldn’t do shameful things.”
“She went into your garden bed without permission and took your tomatoes.”
“That’s straight-up stealing.”
“Maybe you would have been happy to share if she had enough decency/respect to ask.”
“I mean, you’re neighbors, it’s not like she couldn’t figure out how to contact you.”
“Lisa knew full well that she was stealing and was hoping to get away with it.”
“The fact that the majority of the other neighbors agreed to the ban indicates they are also displeased with her.” ~ Stranger0nReddit
“I think a lot of people are having a hard time reading, or (very possible) I’m the illiterate one.”
“People are not against OP; OP tried to reverse the ban, and nobody supported that, not even the neighbor that took the lady’s side earlier, i.e., people still want the nosy neighbor gone.” ~ milkysin
“You can really tell which of the commenters here don’t garden and haven’t experienced how utterly shameless some people are when it comes to stealing home-grown produce.”
“‘Maybe she was just helping.'”
“No, she knew exactly what she was doing. NTA.” ~ CaliLemonEater
“NTA. Sharing with someone means they ask first, not just assume you’ll be okay with it if they help themselves to a few of your tomatoes.”
“She was a thief and got caught; that was just the tip of the iceberg that got her banned.” ~ naranghim
“NTA. She had no right to pick your tomatoes.”
“She’s a hindrance to the rest of you.” ~ Regular_Boot_3540
“NTA – sort of.”
“Lisa is a thief.”
“And she’s also a bad member of the community garden: leaves rubbish, sabotages plants that aren’t in her area, messy.”
“But the use of the garden is on her lease.”
“Try to reverse it again by pointing out that you all are bullies.”
“Make it clear to Lisa that she has a designated area and cannot touch anything outside of that zone.” ~ lemon_icing
“NTA. You may have initiated the ban, but now all the neighbors support it.”
“The funny thing is, there’s probably nothing to stop her from stealing veg or flowers if she wants to in the future.”
“It takes police involvement to trespass her from the garden officially, and not sure they can since it’s a shared space and she lives there.” ~ 1962Michael
“NTA, Lisa is entitled and acting outraged as a smokescreen to cover for stealing your tomatoes.”
“And she is a special AH for taking tomatoes at the peak of ripeness, when they should be bound for margarita pizzas and tomato sandwiches and caprese salads!!!” ~ That_Bee_Baker
“In a shared space, people should respect others.”
“You all have a raised bed, and she needs to keep away from yours.”
“As clearly others agreed. NTA” ~ Dogmother123
“NTA. If she doesn’t want to be viewed that way by her peers, then she shouldn’t be behaving that way in public/shared spaces.”
“No one made her touch what wasn’t hers.”
“You didn’t have to speak in order to shame her.”
“Anyone else could have caught her in the act; it was just you that one time.” ~ oclafloptson
“NTA- Lisa was banned after a hearing.”
“Had she done these things to someone else in the community space, perhaps she would still be getting away with her bad behavior… or maybe she would have been reported long ago.”
“People have different tolerance levels for intrusive and careless behavior.”
“I’m not clear if Lisa was ever told clearly to keep her hands out of your garden before the tomato incident… but I’m willing to bet she understands now, and if she’s ever allowed to garden again, she’ll mind her own peas and carrots!” ~ RagdollsandLabs
“NTA, I think it’s more about no one else wanting to come off as being mean, so you’re taking the heat.”
“As you said if they felt differently, they could have voted her back, but they didn’t.” ~ Ramo2653
“NTA. Plus, the neighbor who said you overreacted and took her side is a hypocrite.”
“If she took her side, then she could also vote to put her back in, but she didn’t want to because SHE WAS ALSO PISSED but didn’t want to look like a ‘bad guy.'” ~ Chemical-Mine1192
“NTA. You should have called the police and reported her theft from your garden.”
“Yes, I know she’s your neighbor, and yes, I know that will escalate things.”
“But she needs to learn not to be a thief, and the police and the judge seem like the ones who need to teach her the lesson.” ~ cecebebe
“NTA. Community garden thieves make the whole experience miserable for gardeners who abide by community norms.”
“If you don’t have a written policy on garden use, you need one.”
“Make everybody sign it before getting a plot.”
“Any thieving, out they go, and they can’t say they didn’t know it would be a problem.” ~ Amiedeslivres
“NTA, it’s always the people doing the transgressions that tell you it’s no big deal and that you’re overreacting.”
“They don’t get a say during the consequences, as they were the ones creating the disharmony in the first place.”
“She knew after the first carrot was pulled out it wasn’t weeds, but she continued until they were all gone.”
“She ate them.”
“No one spoke up on her behalf because you’re not the only one she has done it to.”
“The results are she is banned from the Garden of Eden, and rightfully so.” ~ Longjumping_Win4291
“NTA and a whole bowlful is not a few tomatoes.”
“I love how these shared areas are shared by those who have done nothing to maintain them.” ~ GoingNutCracken
“NTA. She STOLE from you.”
“It doesn’t matter that they’re tomatoes.”
“They have a monetary value; it’s theft to steal them.” ~ Wealthier_nasty
Reddit is with you, OP.
Let her grow her own tomatoes.
Happy Planting.