We all have hard days sometimes, and the most ridiculous, little, petty things will make us angry.
But it’s never a good look to berate our partners, no matter the reason for it, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
That didn’t stop Redditor No_Aioli_1227 from criticizing her boyfriend after a hard day at work for not being able to do something she insisted he should.
When he took her criticism hard, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she had gone too far.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend for not knowing how to peel hard-boiled eggs?”
The OP was frustrated while making dinner.
“So I (30 [female]) was making 6 soy-marinated hard-boiled eggs for my dinner/leftovers.”
“I didn’t cook them correctly or ice them long enough, so the shells were sticking while I was peeling them and I was getting increasingly frustrated.”
“I saw my boyfriend (32 [male]) sitting at the table, twiddling his thumbs, waiting for me to finish so we can walk the dogs together.”
“I had already fed our 2 dogs, made a week’s batch of homemade dog food for one, and gave my boyfriend leftover pasta I had cooked last night.”
“I was the only one who hadn’t eaten and I had a long, busy day at work and was really tired. I hadn’t sat down since I got home.”
The boyfriend didn’t help the OP the way she wanted.
“I was hungry, annoyed that everyone was getting antsy to go out, and I told my boyfriend to help me peel the eggs.”
“He then tried to crack it in half like a normal egg and nearly split one, and I complained he wasn’t doing it right.”
“He then said, ‘I don’t know how to do it,’ and and that literally set me off.”
“I got mad, saying things like, ‘How could you not know how to peel an egg, it’s so simple,’ ‘I’m tired of telling you how to do things,’ and ‘When I ask for help, I have more work telling you how to do it correctly,’ etc.”
The boyfriend didn’t appreciate the criticism.
“He told me I was rude for getting mad at him for not knowing how to peel an egg and then stormed off to walk the dogs alone.”
“I cleaned up and did a bunch of other chores and haven’t talked to him since.”
“He left for work (night shift), and it was a cold exchange.”
“I don’t know how to talk to him to resolve this when I really feel he is incompetent sometimes.”
“I don’t know how to genuinely apologize when I feel like his mother and that I don’t feel like I can respect him when he just replies with ‘I don’t know how’ to things I ask him to help with.”
“AITA for blowing up at my boyfriend over a hard-boiled egg?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the OP was wrong to criticize her partner that way.
“He literally doesn’t know how to peel a boiled egg. I mean as odd as that might sound to some people, that explains his weird way of trying to do it and certainly doesn’t deserve being yelled at over.”
“If OP is venting her anger at him about something else, then deal with it in the appropriate setting, not over peeling some hard-boiled eggs.” – jackdembeanstalks
“YTA. He said he didn’t know how. If you wanted the help, why didn’t you just say let me show you?”
“Even I have a tough time with hard-boiled eggs sometimes.” – Lt-shorts
“It feels like BF was in a no-win situation.”
“OP was already frustrated because she doesn’t know how to cook a hardboiled egg according to her post. She was not successfully peeling them so BF didn’t even have an example to watch.”
“Honestly, if my partner yelled at me when I didn’t know how to do something, I would for sure never volunteer to help or I would not be in that relationship.”
“If OP’s standard is that her partner needs to know how to do XYZ, then fine, leave him, and find someone you are compatible with. The solution is not to abuse the person you are with.” – Important-Season-778
Others disagreed and said the boyfriend could help around the home more.
“The boyfriend had already eaten and was just sitting next to OP, watching OP struggle with the eggs. OP hadn’t even eaten yet. OP has made sure everyone else in the household, including the dogs, were fed and is now struggling with the eggs.”
“The boyfriend had to be asked to help with the eggs! He was just sitting around doing nothing and probably trying to rush OP. If the boyfriend had volunteered to help with peeling the eggs, then I’d agree that OP should have been more patient.” – saucynoodlelover
“Why is it mostly men who think ‘I don’t know how’ excuses them somehow from making an effort when it comes to household chores?”
“I don’t know how to change a diaper.”
“I don’t know how to clean the toilet.”
“I don’t know how to load or run the dishwasher.”
“I don’t know where to put the groceries away.”
“I don’t know how to prepare a meal for myself.”
“Etc., etc., etc.”
“He doesn’t know how to peel an egg? He’s 32 years old. It’s time he learned.”
“Spare me the deliberate incompetence. NTA.” – PrivateEyes2020
“I mean, it sounds like she was mad that he sat there waiting while she fed him and the dogs and made a batch of dog food. Unless they have a s**t load of dogs, he could have offered to take them for their walk while she sits and eats.”
“He could have done literally anything up until that point where she snapped from being exhausted and hungry.”
“I don’t think her response was warranted, but there were definitely things he knew how to do that could have helped prevent it from reaching that point. He doesn’t have to be a mind-reader to see, ‘Hey, she has already ensured the rest of the family has eaten and she’s clearly exhausted. What can I do to help?'” – Effective-Slice-4819
Though the OP didn’t think she could offer her boyfriend a genuine apology, most in the subReddit believed she should. Some found the outburst to be totally uncalled for, while others understood her frustration while also calling her out for yelling.
Criticizing your partner for not doing something the way you envisioned tends to create lose-lose situations.