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Woman Furious After BIL Makes A Scene At Her Birthday Dinner When Restaurant Doesn’t Have Burgers


Unless there is a surprise party planned, you get to call the shots when celebrating your birthday.

Redditor LateNightFalls—the 26-year-old birthday girl—made arrangements at a restaurant for a celebratory gathering.

However, on the night of the birthday dinner, one member of the family caused a scene and ruined the mood.

When the birthday girl was blamed for the drama that happened, she visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:

“AITA for not accommodating my brother-in-law [BIL] during my birthday dinner and telling him his taste wasn’t my priority?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I (26f) recently had a birthday. Some family and I went out to dinner to celebrate.”

“The guests were me, my husband, my parents, his parents, my two brothers and sister, and my husband’s brother.”

“So here’s the deal. My brother-in-law is weird about eating out. He’ll only order a burger or fries and chicken nuggets in a food place, no matter how fancy, no matter how much choice there is.”

“He goes so far as not even looking at menus in places and will ask for nuggets and fries by default and will be very difficult if a place doesn’t have those on the menu.”

“I know this but I won’t accommodate it when it comes to something I’m supposed to enjoy.”

“When my husband and I were discussing the dinner I told him to let his brother know they didn’t do burgers or fries at this place.”

“Cool. He still says he’s showing up.”

“The dinner arrives. Everybody’s looking at the menu except him. He waits and waits and when we’re all ordering he asks the server for fries and nuggets.”

“He explains they don’t have those and then my brother in law asks about a burger. They don’t do those either.”

“He asks could they make up some fries just for him and the server explains they can’t accommodate those. He starts sulking and my husband makes apologies and says they’ll get the final order to them asap.”

“Brother in law goes off about how sh**ty it was I didn’t think of him with dinner and we should have made sure there was something for him to eat.”

“I pointed out he was told and he chose to come. That it was not my job to accommodate for his pickiness when eating out and that his taste was not a priority during my birthday dinner.”

“Brother in law calls me a selfish a**hole and walks off. My mother in law tries to excuse his outburst that he’s hungry while my father in law can’t stop apologizing.”

“My husband confronted his brother after, his brother said he was still pissed at me, my husband said we were the ones pissed and he’d made a scene during my birthday dinner.”

“Their mom is saying I could have been more accommodating and it’s only fair to consider guests when inviting them out.”

“On one hand I’m annoyed that he acted that way but on the other I don’t want to cause any trouble between us and my husbands family.”


Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

Many Redditors sided with the OP as not the a**hole in the situation.


‘Their mom is saying I could have been more accommodating and it’s only fair to consider guests when inviting them out.’

“You did accommodate him by informing him ahead of time that those items weren’t available on the menu. You didn’t have to do that because checking the menu should be something he does for himself knowing that he’s so picky.”

“He still choose to come, knowing those items weren’t available. That’s on him.” – JustNoThrowsAway

“I’m fairly picky myself and always check the menu before we go someplace new. But I’m not ‘burger or chicken nuggets and fries only’ picky.”

“I will wreck some chicken tikka masala and have made it a point to develop my eating habits enough that I can find something off of basically any cultures menu that I can at least nibble on.”

“OP is super NTA.” – faeriechyld

“I’m going to go ahead and assume your BIL is a grown a** adult and, as a grown a** adult, he should not be throwing tantrums in restaurants and expecting other people to tolerate this kind of bullsh*t.”

“If you have a toddler, you choose restaurants that are toddler friendly to make your dinner, as well as that of other diners, reasonably pleasant.”

“When your entire guest list is adults, you, as the birthday girl, get to eat where YOU want, not where your adult BIL can enjoy toddler fare.”

“You SHOULD be annoyed that he decided to make himself the center of attention after having been fairly warned and choosing to ignore the warning about what his meal choices would not include. 100% NTA.” – slydog4100

“NTA I mean he knew about this beforehand. He still chose to come knowing that he wouldn’t be able to get what he ordered. Tell him to go to McDonald’s for his chickie nuggies.”

“ETA it was YOUR birthday aswell. And he made a scene. I would not be accommodating to someone like this regardless.” – Chica711

“I literally have food intolerances. I’ve eaten at places that don’t usually accommodate me… because I phone ahead. He was literally told they didn’t have what he likes and he still came, just to throw a tantrum.”

“I have to know, is he 5?”

“NTA.” – floss147

“I don’t care if your BIL is 6 (let’s assume he’s at least that old because he can read a menu and order for himself) or 36 (and why do I think that’s probably closer?), this is the dumbest thing I’ve read.”

“NTA in any way, shape, or form. Even your husband ‘warning’ him is hilarious. Your MIL excusing his behavior is hilarious. You’re clearly not that a**hole.”

“What a bizarre and embarrassing situation. The family has let this little sh*t get away with things for too long if they’re codling him like that.” – WEWE4E

“NTA. Out of interest though, what kind of food did they have? The waiter could have recommended some things like baked potatoes in lieu of fries or something.” – WebbieVanderquack

In response to the comment above, the OP said:

“He won’t eat baked potatoes in any kind of restaurant either. Just fries. Places have suggested substitutes before and he said no. It was an Indian restaurant.”

Overall, Redditors remained embarrassed for the BIL and they agreed the OP should not have to feel guilty for choosing the restaurant of her choice to have her party.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo