One always wants to go into a blind date with an open mind.
After all, who knows, the evening you’ve been dreading for weeks might end in your meeting the love of your life.
Of course, there’s also every possibility that your blind date might have one of your unequivocal deal breakers for a relationship.
Such was sadly the case for Redditor woejn, who knew that there was no future with a recent blind date after learning more about them.
Though their rationale wasn’t quite good enough for the original poster (OP)’s blind date, who accused them of being closed minded.
After the OP’s friend who set them on the blind date shared that sentiment, they took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for offending my date?”
The OP shared how they knew a future with their recent blind date was simply not in the cards came down to a pet.
“My friend set me up with a guy she is friends with who I met at a restaurant for a first date.’
“The guy set down and immediately I got a stuffy nose.”
“We talked for about an hour before he mentioned he has a cat.”
“I told him I’m allergic to cats and so a relationship wasn’t going to work.”
‘He was offended saying I can’t just exclude him because he has a pet and I told him unless he is getting rid of his pet we can’t live together.”
“He said we would just be dating so who talked about moving in together.”
“I said unless his cat is ancient I want to move in with the guy I’m dating eventually and I have symptoms already and I’m already getting a stuffy nose just sitting near him.”
“He argued I can just use allergy meds and I got annoyed because he thinks allergies are so easy to deal with and told him I’m not dating someone I need to take drug for and feel sleepy everyday just to be around when I can date someone that doesn’t have a cat.”
“He tried to storm off but I realized I was going to stick with the whole bill and quickly waved a waitress down to get a split bill and paid my half before leaving.”
“My friend texted me how to date went and I told her about it not working out because he has a cat and it not working out because I’m allergic and that offended him.”
“She defended him saying with modern medicine cat allergies can be treated and I should have given it a shot because ‘I never know what might happen, the cat could run away or pass eventually’.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for telling their blind date they didn’t have a future because of his cat.
Just about everyone agreed that if the OP didn’t see a future with their blind date, better let them know ahead of time rather than lead them on.
“What is it with people.”
“You’re looking for someone compatible.”
“He’s not compatible.”
“You found out on the first date and were straight with him.”
“This is good.”
“This means you’re up front about your intentions and the issue.”
“And he argues with you?”
“He took it personally?
“And now your friend is arguing with you?”
“Dude should have left well enough alone, but he couldn’t take no for an answer.”- theonlyone38.
“I don’t understand why he would try to like convince you he knows more about your allergies than you.”
“Also, being forceful rather than sympathetic was not the way to go.”- sage_ley.
“You don’t need to justify your deal breakers.”
“Just sitting with him made you sick.”
“Given his reaction sounds like you dodged a bullet.”- Shaft11375.
“Why do people always argue ‘if you get past such and such, this could be great!’ and then be the same people who say ‘didn’t you see the red flags?”‘-granite34.
“NTA as a cat owner.”
“You’re already feeling the effects just by sitting next to him.”
“This is a stranger to you at this point, not someone you’re attached to.”
“It makes sense to me that you’d want to avoid any sort of attachment.”-planted-autic.
“Bright side is at least he showed his colors early enough you didn’t waste your time.”- Agroskater.
“But I’ll admit I’m biased since I have a strong cat allergy too.”
‘Medicine can lessen the symptoms somewhat but they come with their own side effects.”
“Even with them I’ve still had strong reactions to people with fur on them.”
“You should not be pressured into pursuing a relationship for any reason.”-Bostonya.
“Who cares if he was offended?”
“His opinions are meaningless.”
“second, why would you deal with having allergies 24/7 when you could easily date someone without pets?”
“7B people in the world— he isn’t the only guy for you.”
“And judging by his attitude, def not someone to spend time with after this.”
“IDK anything about allergies but if you’re already being asked to rack up medical expenses just to be with the guy, it sounds like you should nope out.”- gracielagalaxy.
“You have the right to end a date at anytime for any reason.”- jasonglenn80.
“You did the right thing.”
“The relationship could never work because of the cat, it’s better to end it now early on than in the future.”
“He’s waving a massive ‘I’m super controlling!’ flag right in your face.”
“Meds don’t fix everything, and it’s creepy that he wants to control what you do and do not put in their body.”
“He barely knows you, and is trying to dictate your body.”
“Creepy and controlling to boot.”
“You were having a reaction just being near him.”
“Again, if he stays over at your house, how would that go?”
“He’d track dandruff all over your furniture, your car, your bed.”
“You’d be constantly suffering, and constant exposure like that can often worsen allergies as well.”
“This isn’t just about the cat or allergies, it’s about him not respecting a rejection and wanting to exert control.”
“You dodged a bullet.”- Proper_Garlic3171.
“Cat person (and with allergies) here.”
“You where having symptoms already just from the hair in his clothes, you couldn’t even hang out together!”
“You were clearly incompatible and it was nice to don’t make him lose more time.”
“It would be different if you liked cats, even with your allergies, but it seems that you are not interested in them, and that’s perfectly fine.”
“My SO is lightly allergic to cats, but he was the one who insisted we got cats.”
“Also, it’s ok for you to want a serious relationship, it seems he just wanted something casual.”
“He is AH bc he took offense instead of acknowledging that you were simply incompatible, and your friend is also kinda the AH bc she was saying that you should give it a try based on the possibility of him losing or getting rid of his cat.”- Eli_Drottningu.
“There is a clear difference between dating with the intention of getting serious and long term and then dating for fun or more casual with having an easy way out.”
“It needs to be established early which side of the dating you and the potential partner is on.”-Luvs2PWGE.
“Pet owners cannot fathom the idea of non-pet owners liking it that way.”
“Not being around cats is way easier than allergy drugs.”- robotcrackle.
“NTA you don’t need any more of a reason, if you didn’t want to date him, don’t date him.”
“No one wants to feel pressured into dating someone.”- ShannonS1976.
“NTA because you were upfront about it.”
“If you guys had been dating and you wanted to move in without all this being discussed, that would have turned into a huge mess.”
“Does he get rid of the cat?”
“Do you end up spending thousands of dollars just to live comfortably in your own place?
“That all sounds silly.”
“You understood that, he did not.”
“Anyways, isn’t that what a first date is for?”
“Call me an old fashioned soul in a younger body, but I was taught a second date was an honor, not a privilege.”
“The first date should be about figuring out if a relationship has the chance of going somewhere, and any after that is about finding out where it’s going.”
“I just don’t get people anymore.”- Ritehandwingman.
“A date is a try-out for a long term relationship, and if just being near him makes your allergies kick up, that’s a non-starter.”
“You might have been more tactful and less defensive, but there is literally no obligation on your part to take allergy meds to be with a guy who doesn’t sound all that great anyway, if he was going to storm off and leave you with the bill.”
“FYI, I’ve been on the other side of this.”
“I had a couple dates with a very nice man who then told me that if we wanted to keep seeing each other, I’d have to get rid of my cat because he was allergic.”
“I told him I loved my cat so thanks but no thanks.”
“He was a little offended, but honestly, if he doesn’t see pets as loved ones, we were probably not meant to be together, because I’ve always had pets and always will.”
“Nothing wrong with him for wanting an allergen free environment.”
“Nothing wrong with me for loving animals and considering them an important part of my life.”
“C’est la vie.”-ElisMaddy.
There did appear to be a much bigger red flag than the cat which the OP didn’t appear to notice was their date’s reluctance to take “no” for an answer.
The OP may have dodged an even bigger bullet than they realized.