Fights in a relationship often come down to not setting proper expectations. Someone may end up confused when a portion of the relationship doesn’t work how they thought it would.
Redditor Topayornot is very grateful her boyfriend could give her a ride home from work, but when the topic turns to money, things get a little out of hand.
The original poster (OP) accidentally starts a fight between her and her BF, but was she wrong? To find out, OP asks the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
Her question is:
“AITA for not paying my boyfriend Uber prices for picking me up from work?”
OP can’t understand why he’d make this request:
“I’m temporarily working somewhere else. It is £20 to get an Uber home. I used the app often enough that I get regular discounts up to 30%.”
“My boyfriend offered to pick me up from work after I told him the price of the Uber sometimes. He got us home. It’s a 30 minute ride, about 20 miles.”
“Afterwards he asked me to pay him; I said fine I don’t mind paying petrol costs. He said I’d have to give him £20 because he went out of his way to get me and I would have given it to the Uber driver anyway.”
“He insists that it makes no sense for me not to pay him what I’d would give to the Uber driver. I told him that’s different because he’s my boyfriend and an Uber driver is a service.”
“I told him I’d give him £10 which he wasn’t happy about it.”
“AITA for not giving him what I would give for an Uber driver?”
“It’s not like I’d pay the price of a Starbucks coffee if my BF made me a cup of coffee.”
On one hand, the boyfriend went out of his way to pick her up and drive her home. On the other hand, he never brought this up when he suggested he give her a ride, and also, he’s her boyfriend.
To figure out if OP is right or wrong to not pay her BF, commenters respond with one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
On top of the fact that it’s ridiculous for your significant other to try and charge you for giving you a ride, OP’s boyfriend is the one who suggested this arrangement. He offered.
Why would he demand payment after the fact? Why would he demand it at all?
Commenters agreed that OP was NTA for not paying.
“Your boyfriend heard you vent about Uber prices and his takeaway is ‘wait, I could be the one to profit here!’”
“Do you want a partner who sees you as a source of income?”
“NTA” – SnausageFest
“That’s exactly his reasoning I’m still baffled that he doesn’t think it’s a dumb thing to ask given I don’t mind paying for petrol.” – Topayornot (OP)
“Yeah, usually friends don’t get paid for helping you out, much less a boyfriend. He helps to save you money, not to become an uber driver.”
“I’d give him the money, and nothing else next time he wants to get romantic….just say you don’t want to impact your professional relationship….”
“NTA” – NoGuarantee3961
“NTA- you shouldn’t have to pay your bf after he offered to pick you up. Whats the point of him picking you up vs. taking an uber when you are still going to spend the same amount.”
“Your bf at least in this instance sounds like a major jerk. I can see maybe giving him some money for his fuel, but aside from that I wouldn’t give him anymore, I think id almost rather take an uber.” – Knots90
“NTA and whoa, that is such a bad look for your BF.”
“If he wants to get paid like an Uber driver, he can work there part time (not that drivers make what Uber charges you, btw.)”
“It’s a longish commute and you shouldn’t expect him to regularly put himself out – just time-wise it’s a lot if it’s a regular thing – but him wanting to charge you a premium price is very very uncool.” – SadderOlderWiser
The comments can’t imagine why the BF would even suggest such a thing. They’re dating.
What’s the point of charging your girlfriend like this?
“‘Hey hon, the price of Uber can be ridiculous. Can you come get me?’”
“‘Sure, but I’m going to charge you the same price as an Uber.’”
“And he went out of his way for you? Wow, what an awesome guy.”
“Imagine if the situation were reversed and he asked you for help, then you charged him? I bet he’d lose his sh**. This guy is being a major a**hole.”
“It’s cool that you contributed to gas, but with you two in a relationship, the thought of charging someone the price of an Uber should never even enter your mind. Who the hell does that?” – KaizureTheRed
“Yes I don’t think he’ll like it if it was the other way around either.” – Topayornot (OP)
“I don’t understand why he’d offer to drive you if it wasn’t for free…?”
“Don’t get me wrong, I have driven my truck to help my bf do something work related but he always offers to reimburse me for gas since it had nothing to do with me.. which sometimes I accept since gas is expensive now and sometimes it’s a long freaking drive but I don’t expect him to pay me.”
“NTA” – youallsuck22
“He offered because he said if I’m paying it for an Uber why can’t I pay him but did it on the sly so I thought he was being kind” – Topayornot (OP)
“Yea… I don’t like him.” – youallsuck22
Despite calls from commenters to dump the guy, OP took a different approach in an update to her original post.
“Thank you everyone, there are too many replies to respond to. He was adamant that charging me is normal so I’ll just show him this thread to convince him otherwise.”
It surprisingly worked.
“I showed him this post and made him read the comments. He apologised. This isn’t something he usually does and was out of character.”
Maybe next time OP’s BF sees his partner as a meal ticket, he’ll think twice before opening his mouth.