Food is a really important aspect of learning about different cultures. So much is poured into food. There’s history and love behind it.
And, some people can be surprised when you learn to appreciate it.
Redditor PorkGastromancer encountered an issue with his girlfriend. So he turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
AITA for ordering fried pork intestine at a Chinese restaurant my GF took me to?
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Me (24M) and my girlfriend (23F) of two years went out to an Asian restaurant yesterday.”
“I’m a white guy, she’s Asian, and she had been saying all before we went how I shouldn’t be afraid to try the real Chinese food that they have there, and I kept saying I was looking forward to it because I love trying new things, but every time I said that she just raised an eyebrow and went ‘we’ll see…’”
“Well we got there and the menu was in Mandarin with English subtitles and they had all kinds of things on it I’d never even imagined. It looked awesome.”
“I ordered jellyfish tentacles over vinegar as an appetizer and she just went ‘okay, I get it, ha ha, ordering the weirdest thing on the menu just to prove me wrong.’”
“And she like…wouldn’t believe me when I really enjoyed the dish.”
“She tried some and just went ‘whoa, oh my god, there’s no way you like that’ and I just went ‘well would you like to come take a seat inside my brain so you can tell for sure?'”
OP’s girlfriend was not having it.
“And she just rolled her eyes.”
“I ordered the fried pork intestine, I’ve had tripe and I liked that so I figured this would be cool, and the waiter was trying to discourage me from ordering it because he didn’t think I would like it.”
“As soon as he said that my girlfriend just pounced and was like ‘yeah no he wouldn’t like that, don’t order that, order something you would like, order fried rice or something’ and I was like ‘No, I want to try fried pork intestine, and I’m ordering fried pork intestine. I am not here to try fried rice, you can get that anywhere. I’m here for something I can’t get anywhere else.’”
“And the waiter just cautiously took down the order, and GF was like ‘well..you didn’t have to be like that.’ I didn’t even raise my voice.”
“So, I finally get the pork intestine, one of the chefs pokes his head out of the kitchen to watch me eat it, and it was incredible.”
“I asked my GF if she wanted any, she made a weird face and said ‘no, obviously, you went and ordered the grossest thing possible just to make a point'” and accused me of being passive-aggressive.”
OP actually enjoyed his food.
“I ate it all and wished there was more and all the way home she was saying how I’m passive-aggressive and she can’t believe I did what I did, and when we got home I just said ‘Look, I can’t believe you’re upset that I ordered food from a place you took me to, and you’re even more upset that I liked it.'”
“She said ‘If you’re gonna be like this about my culture, then you are never meeting my parents.'”
“I mean, idk, maybe I was being passive-aggressive and just didn’t realize it, people can be passive-aggressive unconsciously right? I thought I was ordering what interested me and eating food I enjoyed, and I’m probably gonna go back to that place without her because the food was straight up fire, but maybe I should have ordered something ‘less Asian’ so it doesn’t look like I’m bragging about how I can handle asian food, idk.”
“Sometimes I feel like she should just be with an Asian guy so she can be with someone she believes.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. Sounds like SHE’S the one being passive-aggressive tbh.”
“She tells you that you shouldn’t be afraid of ordering real Chinese food and then gets upset with you? Very weird reaction. I totally agree, why did she take you there if she wanted you to either order something ‘more American’ or not like what you got?”
“Feels like some kind of a weird set up.” ~ No-Recognition3929
“It does feel like a weird set up. I agree.”
“NTA, OP. It’s very odd that she was annoyed that you were willing to try new things. I mean, isn’t that the point of having authentic restaurants?” ~ SimplySam4210
“Exactly! He was never going to win. If he ordered fried rice she would have given him shit for not trying something more adventurous. She set him up to fail.” ~ elysep15
“NTA. What she wanted was for you to say ‘ewww gross,’ hate the food, and be all white about it so she could gloat about your racism.”
“You really let her down. She’s going to need to find another way to make you look or feel small and racist.”
“Think about it.” ~ Unit-Healthy
OP was excited to try something new.
“Personally, based on her comments I think she’s upset that he ordered and liked dishes that were too ‘Asian’ for her own tastes, i.e. made her look or feel less like a ‘true’ Asian due to her distaste of the dishes.”
“But yes, NTA.” ~ DirtyQueenDragon
“Exactly. She was expecting OP to get there and order something you can get at Panda Express.”
“She wanted, ‘Oh wow, the menu is in mandarin? I guess I’ll just have Orange Chicken and rice.'” ~ Slippy_27
“I’m not sure if she wants to make him out as racist, but perhaps she felt her white boyfriend ‘out-Asianed’ her and that caused an identity crisis (since there can be a lot of pressure to be an example of your heritage when a minority in America).” ~ Beautiful_Heartbeat
“I don’t think she was trying to ‘catch him being racist’ so much as ‘living life like she’s in a sitcom’ and he went off-script.”
“A shocking number of people want their lives to be like the stories they watch and will get bent out of shape when other people don’t play along with whatever story they think they are the protagonist in.” ~ MaximumDestruction
OP should continue to be open about food and cultures.