Food allergies and intolerances are a serious problem, and it’s concerning that there are people out there who do not take them seriously or even challenge them.
This situation is true for people, as it is for pets, cautioned the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor weirdestfight was considerate when planning his dog’s diet, and he became nervous when his girlfriend didn’t respect the diet and gave his dog unsafe foods.
When his girlfriend didn’t appreciate being accused of being an unsafe pet owner, the Original Poster (OP) wasn’t sure whether he was being overly protective of his dog.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for taking my dog to work because my girlfriend is essentially poisoning her?”
The OP gave his dog a healthy diet.
“I have a 9-year-old dog. She’s been with me since she was a puppy.”
“I feed her a diet of fruits, specialized kibble, and meat. She loves blueberries, apples, and bananas and isn’t a picky dog. She event eats carrots sometimes.”
“She is not allowed chocolate obviously, or grapes or raisins, onions, and garlic. I understand most people only really know about chocolate being toxic to dogs, but the other things listed are as well.”
The OP’s girlfriend was forgetful of the diet.
“My girlfriend recently moved in and she will not stop feeding my dog unsafe foods.”
“She knows about chocolate being toxic and never does that, but I’ll see her toss a grape to her.”
“When I get upset, she says she forgot.”
“She’s upset because growing up, her parents’ dogs always ate leftovers, and the only thing they couldn’t have was chocolate, and ‘they were fine,’ but I don’t care.”
The OP decided to start taking his dog to work.
“I was getting stressed out worrying about my dog all day, so I asked my boss if I could just bring her to work, and I was told that was fine.”
“Now my girlfriend is upset because she’s home alone all day by herself and I’m showing I don’t trust her.”
“My reasoning is once she can show me (with me there to supervise) she knows the rules, I’ll start feeling comfortable leaving my dog at home again.”
“Until then, I’m not going to let my dog be poisoned to appease her.”
His girlfriend didn’t appreciate his accusation.
“She was extremely offended I used the word ‘poisoned’ and has been giving me the silent treatment all night.”
“I mentioned the original problem in passing when some folks at work asked why I was bringing my dog in, and they said they had never heard of dogs needing so strict a diet.”
“Am I crazy here? I don’t feel like I am being overprotective, but maybe I am.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the OP was absolutely right to give his dog only safe foods.
“You’re not being overprotective. My dog doesn’t eat any of those things either.”
“Another commenter mentioned Xylitol, which is in a lot of peanut butter, check for that too.”
“NTA for protecting your dog. YTA for not breaking up with your girlfriend, she’s a clear and present danger to the dog.” – megbookworm
“If I’m having a conversation with someone eating grapes, if a grape is dropped on the ground, all conversation stops, because someone says ‘Grape!’ until the grape is found, just so the dog can’t eat it.”
“That’s being responsible pet owners. We do get grapes, but we make sure we don’t leave any for our dog to eat.” – HavePlushieWillTalk
“My 4-year-old son left his raisins on the couch two weeks ago and our puppy got into them. We had him to the vet within 45 min. The vet said if we hadn’t noticed, the puppy probably would have died by the evening.”
“I still keep raisins in the house for my granola but they are hidden and no one knows about them. I’m not taking any chances. A small handful of raisins can kill a dog.” – Emergency-Willow
“This is why the ‘Leave It’ command is so important. People often teach their dog stuff like sit, down, stay, come, etc, but they often forget that commands like Leave It can save a dog’s life.”
“People drop stuff all the time, and sometimes it takes a few minutes to find something on the floor if it’s small. A dog’s nose, on the other hand, is so sensitive that it can easily locate any trace of food in seconds. But if you train them to know to Leave It, and immediately give the command as soon as you drop something, then the dog knows not to go for it.”
“Leave It can also be used to teach dogs how to ignore things they want to chase, how to ignore distractions, to move away from anything that isn’t safe, to ignore stuff on the ground, and more. That’s why to me, the commands Stay, Come, and Leave it will always be the most important – because they’re the commands that can save a dog’s life.” – Repossessedbatmobile
“I was actually afraid to buy grapes for a time and generally don’t allow them in the house because I was afraid there would be an accident and our dog would get into them.”
“I also buy non-xylitol toothpaste just in case. Good thing I did because I accidentally used human toothpaste to brush my dog’s teeth once.”
“Our dog is our whole world so yeah, could she eat a grape and not die? Probably, but WHY WOULD YOU RISK IT???” – corgi_data_wrangler
Others challenged the girlfriend and didn’t think she was “forgetting” anything.
“She’s not forgetting. She’s trying to prove by doing it that she’s right. People don’t repeatedly forget things they are often told. She’s making excuses, so you stop fighting.” – PrincipleAway
“She’s waiting to say, ‘See? I fed the dog grapes and she didn’t die.'”
“Not a risk any dog owner should be willing to take. We have 3 dogs and just 2 responsible adults in our house who would never give them grapes, but we still almost never buy them.” – LadyGreyIcedTea
“Feeding a dog grapes is playing Russian roulette. Some dogs have eaten grapes and were fine. Others not.”
“We don’t even know the exact mechanism that makes it dangerous – is the difference in the dog? In the grape? Some strange alchemy between the two?”
“It doesn’t matter if her childhood dogs survived eating grapes – that is not a risk you are reasonably willing to take. If she can’t handle that, you are NTA.” – Various-Pizza3022
“Op, she isn’t going to stop. My family who I no longer speak to killed a family dog because they refused to stick to the vet diet and wouldn’t stop feeding her people food. Which kept causing her illness to get worse, which eventually killed her.”
“They never listened to me and I wasn’t in a position to take the dog away from them. Protect your dog. People like this don’t listen.” – ShibeDogeBork
“I have ADHD and absolutely repeatedly forget things I’m often told. That said, I’d make d**n sure I write the ‘no-no’ foods on a Post-It or white board or my phone or SOMETHING so that I have a reminder if (when) I forget!” – ImpossibleGuava1
“This is the kind of situation where I’d find one of those posters with good and bad animal foods and put it up on the pantry door somewhere or keep a copy on my phone.”
“If you know you have memory problems, you have a responsibility to work around that as best you can, especially in a situation like this where someone could get hurt or sick.” – CryptidCricket
A few wondered where the OP’s relationship could go from here.
“NTA, but if you don’t trust her then why are you with her?” – IAmGettingThePig
“100% this OP!”
“My husband didn’t know grapes are toxic to dogs and two weeks ago, fed him half of one. I freaked out and told him that much could kill a small dog like ours.”
“You know what my husband did? Drive our dog to ER, had the vet induce vomiting until they found the grape, asked for charcoal to be administered, and demanded blood work to check our dogs’ kidney levels since grapes can cause kidney failure.”
“That’s how someone who really doesn’t know grapes are harmful acts when they accidentally feed a living animal something that can possibly kill them.”
“Your girlfriend is lying about forgetting and continuing to purposely attempt to poison your dog to death. Why?”
“She claims to ‘love’ the dog. Is repeatedly attempting to poison the dog love? No, it’s insane.”
“Seriously, I don’t often just jump to ‘dump them,’ but if you do not break up with this person, your dog will eventually die because of her.”
“NTA but YWBTA (you would be the a**hole) if you don’t break up with her to keep your dog safe.” – Jedi_Belle01
“Question, if you can’t agree on how to feed an animal, how are you ever going to agree on children?”
“This is a small issue that can extend to bigger problems.”
“I’d keep taking the dog to work and tell her to get a job or a hobby to keep herself busy while you’re at work.”
“Also, I bet everyone starts loving your work dog…. I’m jealous I can’t take mine to work.” – stickydebater
While his girlfriend was giving him the silent treatment and some of his coworkers questioned the many rules of his dog’s diet, the subReddit insisted he was doing the right thing as a pet owner.
If the girlfriend was truly forgetful, she could keep a list of items posted somewhere visible, like on the refrigerator, so she wouldn’t make mistakes.
Otherwise, it seems likely that she wanted to prove a point, claiming that each time the dog didn’t become sick from grapes, it would somehow be less and less likely to be a legitimate problem.