Support in a relationship can mean many things to many people. For some, it’s the emotional bond that allows you to continue in the face of adversity.
For others, it’s a cup of tea.
When Reddit user RedBullisBad encountered an issue with his boyfriend, he asked the “Am I the A**hole” board if he was right to be upset. Considering the actions of the original poster’s (OP) significant other, it’s not difficult to understand why he’s upset.
He asks the internet:
“AITA for telling my BF I won’t stop drinking hot tea?”
As the story goes:
“Sorry but this is an alt. I had to make one cause my boyfriend and his friends are borderline harassing on all my social media. I don’t want him to know about this.”
“Anyway I like tea. I have about three to four cups of hot tea today. Tea brings me so much happiness and peace.”
“I won’t go into details but just know it brings me back to a lot of happy memories from my childhood.”
“My boyfriend whom I will call Josh didn’t mind my tea drinking. Our first date was even at a tea house. He doesn’t drink as much as me but will have a cup in the morning or if I offer to make him a cup.”
“Recently Josh went to the hospital complaining of pain and they found out he had a pretty sizable kidney stone.”
“Thankfully they said he would pass it on his own, gave him some meds and a list of things to eat/drink. You know the do’s and don’t’s of what causes kidney stones.”
“Well I woke to make my morning cup of tea and the kettle was gone. I looked everywhere and couldn’t find it so I asked Josh.”
“He said he threw it out cause tea is on his list of things that could cause kidney stones.”
“He didn’t want the temptation around anymore and even went so far as to blame for me the stone. I love my boyfriend, however we have totally different diets.”
“I do my best to drink plenty of water, avoid fast food and always cook for myself. If I order out, I try to find a healthy choice on the menu. I’m working on losing some weight so I do my best to stay on track.”
“Josh pretty much pisses red bull, mountain dew, and dr pepper. He loves junk foods and will opt for greasy fast food burger over the grilled chicken I made for dinner. Its rare I see him drinking water. In fact he has his own little mini fridge fully stocked with soda and red bull.”
“I told him that it wasn’t my problem that he had kidney stones and that me having a cup of tea wasn’t going to ruin anything. He snapped and said that as his boyfriend I should go through this with him cause we’re a couple.”
“I need to give up my tea so he’ll get better. He even freaking said he asked him mom if she wanted the tea I had in the apartment so he wouldn’t have to see it.”
“Again I said that a cup of tea didn’t cause his stupid kidney stone! That him drinking up to 6 Dr.Peppers a day did and I will not stop having a cup of tea cause of him! I am not responsible for his health!”
“After that I took my tea, my stuff and went back to my apartment. (We don’t live together. Just stay over sometimes). Since then Josh, his friends, and even his mom have been blowing me up on social media and my phone.”
“They are calling me awful things, saying I’m selfish and should be thinking of Josh in his time of need.”
“AITA here Reddit?”
On the AITA board, people are judged with one of the following acronyms:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes here
- ESH – Everybody sucks here
While in many situations you may think the request that you support your partner would come on top, in this case the actions of Josh went too far.
The internet deemed OP was NTA, and provided him with their own support.
“NTA.”
“Your boyfriend is being ridiculous. This can’t even be blamed on poor self control as you said he seldom drinks tea.”
“It’s strange his friends are harassing you on social media over something so petty. I suspect he has told them a different story which could be another concern.”
“Do you plan on moving in with this man in the future? Has he acted like this before over miniscule “issues”?” – BirdsEyeViewZ
“I’m sure he told them a different story based on some of the messages and comments I have received.” – RedBullisBad
“Josh is a prick. dump Josh and his overbearing mother” – squashsoupchristmas
“She accused me of her harming her baby and said I needed to support cause that is what you do when someone is sick. He’s not sick. He has a kidney stone yes but he’s not sick.” – RedBullisBad
“NTA. You don’t have a tea problem. You have a boyfriend problem.”
“Trade him in for a new kettle and less bs in your life.” – GloryIV
“Agreed. That seems like the sensible next step in OP’s relationship.” – onesmilematters
“NTA and dump this dude. He doesn’t want the temptation? No, he wants company in his misery. Tea is the least of his problems, and you should not stop for his health choices.”
“Take your tea and leaf.” – mercyofnod
OP updated their post to confirm they have broken up with Josh. He’s done a lot for Josh and been his “freaking doormat” but won’t be any longer.
Josh would have had an easier time of this if he spoke with OP about his concerns, rather than just attempt to throw out the tea and bully OP into accepting it. A bit of self-reflection on his own drinking habits would probably help too.