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Parent Called Out For Breaking SIL’s Kosher Kitchen Rules By Heating Up Son’s Food In Microwave

A person puts a plate of chicken nuggets into a microwave

A happy meal doesn’t always make everyone happy.

People have so many allergies and aversions to ingredients.

Others are on strict health and fitness diets,

And then there is the religious aspect.

Some cultures have to follow certain rules when it comes to the kitchen.

And those rules can cause major clashes with family members.

Case in point…

Redditor Salty_Register_3267 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

They asked:

“AITA for heating my son’s lunch in my brother’s microwave?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My son has sensory issues (he likely will be diagnosed with autism in a few weeks) as well as chronic GERD.”

“Whenever we go anywhere to eat I pack food for him.”

“My brother is marrying Tisha.”

“Tisha grew up in a fundamentalist religion.”

“She’s not nearly as devout as when she grew up.”

“One of the things she’s held onto is very specific dietary laws.”

“Which is fine, but the way she enforces them seems very legalistic and way beyond the point of any actual rules.”

“Anyway, she had my brother change his whole kitchen to fit these dietary rules.”

“He spent a fortune of money and now has two dishwashers.”

“The problem is that now my brother won’t let any food that Tisha doesn’t pre-approve into the house.”

“She either has to cook everything, or they have to drive an hour to get food at restaurants she’s okay with.”

“This has caused some issues in our family.”

“My brother, since before he met Tisha, has always hosted family events at his place due to his central location and that he has the largest house by far.”

“But now we have to eat what Tisha cooks or all eat outside on plastic ware (bad for the environment and not feasible with our summers).”

“Today we did Father’s Day at my brother’s house.”

“We had pizza which is my Dad’s favorite, but my son can’t eat, so I brought a lunch for him.”

“My brother has a microwave in his basement and some old bowls I’m supposed to use.”

“But today, it was busted.”

“So I just went and heated up his food in the kitchen.”

“Tisha walked in while I was doing it and lost her mind.”

“Started freaking out about what was in my son’s lunch, what plates did I use, what did it touch, etc.”

“Just borderline hysterical.”

“Soon everyone was in the kitchen, my son was crying, and my husband and brother were going at each other. It was just chaotic.”

“Over some Dino nuggets.”

“My Dad’s day was ruined.”

“So we eventually left.”

“And then my brother texts me saying how ‘disrespectful’ I am.”

“My husband is pissed.”

“And now my mom wants me to apologize for putting my son’s food in his Uncle’s microwave.”

“I have no plans on doing any such thing and think I and my son should be apologized to.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.

“YTA. You know the rules of the home. Period.”

“It sounds like Tisha keeps Kosher, which means yes, things need to be kept separate.”

“You can disagree with the household rules by not attending events.”

“You cannot go in a disrespect their home because you don’t like being inconvenienced.”

“Plus, they make plenty of thermoses and other gadgets to keep your child’s food warm.”  ~ sheramom4

“They have the non-kosher microwave in the basement for her son.”

“They knew it was broken but failed to tell her.”

“Kashering a microwave takes about 24 1/2 hours (24 of which are leaving it idle).” ~ inFinEgan

“OP could have asked for an alternative option instead.”

“OP knows the rules of the house and that it would cause problems, it could have taken a few seconds to ask, and maybe Tisha could have given her another option, or at least it would have been more respectful.”

“OP disregarded the house rules without consideration or asking if they had an alternative solution.”

“For those asking me what the alternative option is.”

“THAT’S MY POINT!! OP could have ASKED. Just like you are.”

“I don’t know their house or their life. They could have had another option, but we don’t know because OP didn’t ASK.”  ~ De-railled

“Tisha and her husband knew OP needed the microwave.”

“They knew the broken microwave would likely be an issue.”

“It would have taken a few seconds for Tish to call OP and let her know so that OP would bring food that didn’t need a microwave.”

“Tisha disregarded her nephew’s dietary needs and then freaked out so incredibly hypocritically when her dietary needs were infringed upon due to something Tisha caused.”  ~ inFinEgan

“I think the point was. There may be times he eats food that doesn’t need to be heated.”

“The correct thing to do would be to warn OP that they could not accommodate heating outside food that day, so OP could plan accordingly (bring something cold or not attend the gathering).”

“But it sounds like OP also didn’t use the downstairs dishes after finding out the microwave wasn’t working.”

“OP also has some pretty clear disdain for Tisha’s choices (her summary comment calls it a ‘holy microwave’).”

“Overall, it feels like ESH except for the kiddo and probably OP’s dad, sitting in a corner, eating pizza.”  ~ vilebunny

“Maybe they didn’t know it was broken?”

“Either way, I don’t understand what makes people think that it’s ok to disrespect someone’s home like that.”

“Being kosher is a BIG DEAL.”

“Dietary restrictions in some religions are a VERY BIG DEAL.”

“So clearly if they re-did their entire kitchen to follow those restrictions, it is a BIG DEAL to them.”

“And OP knew the rules of the house.”

“The fact that she didn’t even ask or talk to her brother or his future wife about it, or asked for an alternative solution and just decided on her own she’s gonna disrespect their home because she is being inconvenienced is disgusting.”

“Whether you have a child that has special needs or not, it does not give you the right to disrespect other people, their home, and their religion because you are being inconvenienced.”

“OP bluntly just disregarded all the rules she knew were a big deal and in place for a reason, again without even speaking to her brother or future sister-in-law, and y’all think that’s ok?”

“Lol. The entitlement on this sub is so wild.” ~ Pizza_Lvr

“From the comments, OP clearly KNOWS this is a big deal to Tisha and legitimately just looks down on her religion and practices.”

“This feels like a deliberate and opportunistic f**k you to Tisha.”

“Also, OP framing it as if Tisha’s response is what ruined the day like NO it was your disrespect for her religion that ruined the day OP.”

“So much YTA.” ~ AsianMurderHornet

“No. You have no reason to believe that they knew the microwave was broken. You have made that up.”

“You also seem to know all about how to kasher a microwave, but you’ve missed that anything else they f**ked with will need kashering too.”

“And since OP snuck the food into somewhere they knew it was not allowed to be. They cannot be trusted if they claim they haven’t touched or used anything else.”

“Tisha clearly takes remaining shomer kashrut seriously – the principle in operation here is that if she cannot be sure something is kosher and could not have been tampered with by this AH, it has to be kashered.

“OP is the AH for their contemptuous, frankly antisemitic attitude to Tisha’s culture.”

“’Legalistic beyond the point of actual rules’ – this is screeching bigotry, someone projecting their massive and total ignorance onto a culture they haven’t bothered to learn about despite someone of that culture now being part of their family.”

“And ‘fundamentalist?’ If her approach is legalistic, that is the antithesis of fundamentalism in Judaism – OP is just using a prejudicial, ignorant term for ‘observant.'”

“People can be that serious about kashrut without being ‘religious’ in the sense culturally-christianised AHs mean it, nevermind ‘fundamentalist.'”

“OP’s behavior would not have caused that level of concern or distress if they had any history of respect or engagement whatsoever.”

“As is, I hope Tisha’s husband has the sense to keep his ignorant bigot relatives out of his home. OP, YTA, monumentally.” ~ MaintenanceFlimsy555

“The bigger red flag to me is ‘I think I and my son should be apologized to.'”

“Makes me feel certain that her son was there for the arguing and probably partly blames himself for having different dietary needs, you know, as Trisha does.”

“So not only did she disrespect Trisha’s needs in her own home, she’s also probably made her kid feel bad about his own needs while also teaching him it’s okay to disrespect other people’s needs for your own.”

“Absolute AH.”  ~ 32redalexs

“Your disdain for Tisha is very obvious.”

“And it makes me doubt the accuracy of your description of her reaction.”

“I have a feeling this wasn’t the first time you ignored her house rules due to a lack of respect and possibly bigotry (antisemitism, I’m guessing since their kosher rules require separated equipment for cooking different things).”

“If you can’t handle her house rules, don’t visit her house. YTA.”  ~ InterestingHusk

“YTA. It may not be a big deal to you, but it is to Tisha and you knew what you were doing would upset her.”

“If she keeps kosher, which is what it sounds like based on your description, she may no longer consider the microwave kosher, and depending on how devout she is, may replace the microwave you used.”  ~ adjective-study

Well, OP, Reddit sounds pretty clear.

You knew the house rules.

They may be difficult rules, but you’d expect your rules to be followed in your home.


Hopefully, this can all be resolved.