We all have bills to pay, and how we earn money to pay them is ultimately up to us.
Whether or not others approve of our career choices doesn’t change the fact that (1) we need to make money and (2) how we do it is our choice.
In some situations, a significant other may not necessarily support the work that provides said income.
A woman on Reddit is at a complete loss after her boyfriend broke up with her over her temporary job as a “topless maid,” so she turned to the “Am I The A**hole Here” (AITAH) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors.
Redditor PerceptionFew2622 asked:
“AITAH for telling my bf ‘you knew my job, why do you care now?’ when he broke up with me because of it?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“So I want to start by saying I (f[emlle]/21) have a really unique job that not a lot of people agree with.”
“It’s okay if you don’t, it’s not your job, and it doesn’t have to be!”
“I respect your opinion just please don’t be rude about it.”
“I currently work as a maid, a topless maid.”
“As in, I clean people’s homes with no clothes but my bottoms on.”
“I do this because my friend found it as a ‘side hustle.'”
“I am currently in college, and it is how I pay for each of my semesters, enabling me to graduate with zero debt.”
“I graduate next semester! At that point, I will quit my job.”
“I typically clean very expensive homes for very rich people, and I have never really had a bad experience at my job (thank god!).”
“Of course, there is leering, but I mean, that’s the appeal.”
“It really doesn’t bother me.”
“I told my bf (m[ale]/25) this on our second date because I know that some people, especially men, have a problem with it.”
“I have to admit he was a little put off at first, but ultimately, he decided he was okay with it, as long as it isn’t my life goal, which it certainly isn’t.”
“We have been dating for six months now, and it has been very good.”
“He honestly is a great bf and I did see a future with him.”
“Unfortunately, last night he broke up with me.”
“It started because I told him to come to my house at 7, and I would make us dinner.”
“Well I ended up being late because there was an accident on the bridge I take from one of my clients house.”
“My boyfriend heard it on the news and told me to take my time. He will chill at my apartment, and it’s not a rush.”
“When I got home, I was exhausted from driving and went to my bedroom to put some comfy clothes on.”
“My bf was there.”
“It didn’t bother me, I just took my shirt off the throw a pj shirt on.”
“My bf looked at me as I did, and I could see in his face that something changed that instant.”
“He saw me topless and with my uniform bottoms on, and it seemed like he just now made that connection about what I do and look like.”
“He broke up with me right then and there.”
“I sobbed all night and all day.”
“When he called me just recently, I asked him why.”
“He told me my job.”
“I told him that he’s known my job, why even waste my time and break my heart?”
“He called me a sl*t and an a**hole for that.”
“He told me ‘you can’t even see this from my perspective, I actually loved you.'”
“I’m just so hurt.”
“AITAH for any of this?”
“I thought I was so clear about everything my job is.”
After posting, OP was flooded with questions in the comments, so she addressed them with an update.
“WOW okay I am literally shocked about how many people saw and commented here !!”
“Thank you so much for those who were kind to me.”
“This whole break up sucks but this has really helped me.”
“To answer a few popular questions- No this is not fake.”
“Yes this is really my job for now.”
“No I do not, have not, and never will sleep with my clients.”
“Yes my clients look at me, but it would be weird if they did not.”
“Yes I get paid about $1500 per ‘shift’ which varies on hours.”
“They tip me for ‘more’ BUT IT IS NEVER SEXUAL. Or anything flirtaous.”
“I pay my way through college like this because I go to community, I will graduate as a nurse, and I have an academic scholarship already as well.”
“Yes my bf had seen me naked before?? That was an odd question.”
“And my uniform bottoms are black shorts.”
“Yes I have to look pretty when I go lol.”
“Yes I actually clean but it’s more like your everyday stuff you do rather than a real housekeeper.”
“I think that’s it but again thank you for the kind comments on here it genuinely helped me so much :))”
Redditors weighed in on the situation, and most decided that OP was not the a**hole (NTA) especially since her boyfriend was already aware of what OP did for work.
“NTA. You told him from the start.”
“You will be debt free.”
“Do what you need to.”
“You don’t need him.” – Fancy_Bass_1920
“NTA! Graduate and move on.”
“The job is temporary it’s not your future.”
“Focus on graduating. Your Mr. Forever is still out there.” – Nay0704
Some did, however, mention that perhaps her boyfriend had a “seeing is believing” kind of moment when he suddenly realized he was not okay with OP’s job.
“NTA – Sometimes ‘knowing’ something is one thing at an intellectual level.”
“Seeing it with your own eye makes it real.”
“For instance, a person can know they are pregnant but when you see that first ultrasound, hear the heart beat or maybe the first kick it becomes very real.”
“As a guy, it would be tough knowing your GF is showing her breasts to a perv that’s paying more just for the show.”
“HOWEVER BF was an AH for verbally attacking you.” – Charlielovestuna
“NTA.”
“People can think they are fine with all sorts, but then when presented with the reality find they are not.”
“He is wrong for taking the emotional whiplash he feels out on you.”
“Sure, he can’t cope, but he shouldn’t be a d*ck about it towards you.” – Apprehensive-Math499
“Many (most?) people regardless of gender are visual about it.”
“Your bf had heard your job, but since you weren’t prostituting yourself, he kind of accepted it.”
“But now, he saw what you looked like on the job, it clicked on his mind, and he could no longer accept it.”
“Similarly, most people who are cheated on (not saying your a cheater, just an example), might consider saving the relationship (few succeed), but if they happen to walk in on their partner cheating, the image is burned in their minds, and the chance of saving the relationship is almost zero, because of the mental image.”
“I think something similar happened with your ex-bf.”
“Anyway, congratulations on graduating debt free and not fully effing your life by doing prostitution or porn.” – Educational_Gas_92
Several also agreed that OP’s boyfriend became the a**hole (AH) when he started calling OP names.
“If he didn’t pull out the ‘sl*t’ or ‘a**hole’ I’d say there is no asshole and he realized he wasn’t okay with it.”
“Well he’d still be an a**hole for not talking to you first.” – Capital-Notice9488
“NTA”
“Ironic thing about this is she wasn’t planning to do this job for much longer anyways.”
“BF wasn’t the AH either until he started calling her names and shaming her.”
“He knew her job, and she was upfront about it.”
“I probably wouldn’t have an issue with a GF doing this kind of job, especially when she said it would end when school was finished.”
“It was just a way for her to get through school with zero debt.”
“Something I can respect.” – New-Art-7667
“NTA, he has the right to break up with you, but there is no reason to be an a** to you while doing it.”
“On the bright side you’re probably better off from breaking up with him now than dragging it out.” – ESLsucks
“The sl*t and a**hole part were over the line.”
“But not counting that, people can be cool with something they don’t really understand from secondhand conversation until they see it for themselves, and then change their minds when they see it.”
“He’s not the a**hole for breaking up with OP over her job – his view simply changed when he got a better look at what it entailed.”
“That said, he is certainly an a**hole for calling her the names he did.”
“That’s messed up.” – trip6s6i6x
While it doesn’t sound like there is a future for this former couple, OP can find some comfort in knowing her fellow Redditors don’t think she was in the wrong for pointing out that her boyfriend was aware of how she made money for college.
And soon, she will have a college degree and a completely different career altogether.