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Bride Balks After Sister Refuses To Come To Catholic Wedding Ceremony Because She’s Evangelical

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Religion, faith and politics, all things people can’t seem to discuss calmly anymore.

Why is that?

And how is it that religion can makes its way into every simple situation?

Even a wedding guest list.

Case in point…

Redditor TAMyWe wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for uninviting my sister to my wedding party after she said she wouldn’t come to the ceremony?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“Me (F[emale]) and my sister, Kate, have different religions.”

“I am Catholic and she is Evangelical.”

“We have our ideological differences, but we have a very close relationship, after all it was just me, her, and my mother our entire childhood/adolescence.”

“I was proposed to 3 months ago.”

“I decided I would have the M[atron] O[f] H[onor] my sister and no bridesmaid.”

“My fiancée agrees and he only chose his best friend.”

“There will be a religious ceremony at the church and then we will go to a venue where the party will take place.”

“For me, it’s important to get married in church.”

“It will happen in 4 months.”

“When I asked Kate to be my MOH she was super excited.”

“But during the preparations, when she learned that I would have a ceremony at the church, she seemed uncomfortable.”

“But I didn’t question it (I waited for her to speak).”

“Well, last week, she called me over for coffee and said that she didn’t feel comfortable going to a Catholic church because of her religion.”

“So she couldn’t attend the religious ceremony, but she would love to go to the party, participate in everything, she just wouldn’t go at the ceremony.”

“I got really upset and said ‘This is an important moment for me, much more than the party and I wish all the people I love were there, including you.'”

“She replied, ‘I don’t feel comfortable going into churches other than my own, but I will participate in everything else.'”

“Me: ‘I don’t feel comfortable in other churches either, but I went with the greatest honor to your wedding, because I know it was important to you as well as for me.'”

“She still stuck to the decision and I felt so tired and sad that I just got up and walked away.”

“After a lot of thinking, I called her and said ‘If one of the people I love the most, can’t stay 2 hours at the most important moment for me, even though I asked it to be there for me and not for our religion… then I think you shouldn’t come to my wedding.'”

“‘If you can’t make a concession for me, then I shouldn’t make one for you.'”

“Well, she keeps texting me saying that I’m overreacting and that I should respect her stance.”

“She and my mother are pressuring me to go back on my decision.”

“I’m just really upset, it’s something extremely important to me.”

“I would like to have her be there and on my side, but she doesn’t want to and I felt betrayed because I did it for her and she didn’t for me.”

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA. If her faith is that fragile that being in a building where people practice a slightly different method of faith, TO THE SAME GOD SHE WORSHIPS, then she is beyond ridiculous.”

“Write her off.”

“Her fragile faith is more important to her than family.”

“A MOH who feels OK with refusing to be at the wedding. Unbelievable.” ~ lotus_eater123

“Lol, reminds me way back in time when I worked at a place where a large part of the staff was from a local religious college.”

“There was one guy that would not stop trying to convert me.”

“One day I snapped when he asked if I worried I’d go to Hell.”

“I looked him straight in the eyes and said I can’t go to a place that doesn’t exist.”

“That shut him up.”

“The next day he came up to me apologized and said I was the Godly pagan he know.”

“I’m a nonbeliever but had no problem being the MOH in my sister’s Catholic wedding.”

“It was a beautiful church and the priest didn’t sermonize at all.”

“I also go with my husband’s family to Xmas eve Lutheran mass every year.”

“I even take communion.”

“I feel guilty about this but the first year I tried to get out of it but all the dirty looks I got made me uncomfortable so now I just do it. NTA.” ~ Iwantaschmoo

“The last time I heard a religion say that you can’t attend other religious services it was a cult.”

But her mom and sister are being ridiculous trying to make her still involve her mentally ill sister.”

“Anyone that believes like OP’s sister has issues.” ~ emmaheaven1

“Right?? And Catholics and evangelicals are both Christian.”

“So it’s not like it’s an ENORMOUS gap like strict Muslims and Catholics where the entire ceremony, rituals, etc could be very different and she’d potentially be asked to participate in religious bits that aren’t hers.”

“I was a bridesmaid for a friend who had full Catholic mass, and the only part I didn’t participate in was communion, since while I attend church, I’m a Protestant.”

“Another bridesmaid also just sat that bit out, as did many guests.”

“I was an usherette for another friend who had a full Catholic mass wedding, and again, was no big deal at all.”

“If sister is that… whatever she is… about her faith, then no, she shouldn’t be attending the wedding at all.”

“She can’t properly support her sister in the most important part of the day, the actual wedding ceremony, so she doesn’t get to come to the party after.”

“And someone else pointed out too, traditionally the maid of honor signs the license as a witness to the marriage along with the best man.”

“If she isn’t there to witness the vows, she shouldn’t be signing the paperwork that she did.”

“NTA for the bride.” ~ TheBearWillBeFine

“This stuff always makes me sad. It’s the SAME GOD.”

“It’s just a different religious ‘branch’ per say.

“Plus the fact that she put you in the same position and you willingly did it for her but she can’t do the same for you is a huge double standard.”

“Still though, she has every right to refuse to take part in the religious part of the ceremony.”

“And you as the BRIDE have the right to decide who does and does not attend. NTA.”  ~ Mental-Woodpecker300

“MOH is full of herself, is not even about faith but image.”

“My parents are extremely religious (fundamentalists) my dad’s side of the family are all evangelicals and everyone on my mother’s side are hardcore Catholics.”

“However, both sides have always compromised for important events, weddings, quinceaneras, funerals, communions, etc.”

“Because at the end of the day they understand that attending each event is about supporting family and not entering the church to worship.”

“Is not all peaches, of course, sometimes there is tension or both sides refuse to participate in service practices, standing up to sing, etc.”

“Hell a lot of the times they sit all the way at the back, to be closer to the exit?”

“I don’t know, but they still show up… lol.”  ~ Janitor0fLunacy

“My father walked out in the middle of his sister-in-law’s funeral.”

“He couldn’t stand to be in a church as his religion does not do churches.”

“He was 65ish at the time.”

“His S[ister] I[n] L[aw] and brother were 80ish.”

“He was never forgiven for walking out, never apologized, and never expressed regret.”

“NTA. It’s petty and small-minded of your sister.”

“It’s a building. Good for you.” ~ modernwunder

“NTA. People of different religions go to churches for weddings all the time.”

“I’m Protestant, and have never had an issue going to Catholic churches for various weddings.”

“That’s crazy pants.”

“No one is forced to take communion or cross themselves.”

“She’s being completely unreasonable.” ~ incogspeedo

“This isn’t an issue of faith, at least doctrinally speaking.”

‘There’s no tenet of a Christian faith that restricts you from setting foot in another church.”

“In my opinion, you should stick to your guns and say if she can’t attend the wedding she isn’t welcome at the party.”

“Ask her to point out how, specifically, attending this wedding is contrary to her faith.”

“It isn’t, and it’ll boil down to the fact that Protestants just don’t like Catholics.”

“NTA. Enjoy your wedding, and good fortunes to your marriage.” ~ NuketheCow_

“This is probably the issue.”

“I grew up in a religion that believed that praying to saints was idol worship and that the Pope was literally the Anti-Christ in the flesh.”

“OP is NTA, the sister literally can’t be a MOH if she doesn’t attend the ceremony, it’s where most of the MOH duties will occur.”

“If she chooses to interpret her faith to mean she can never enter a Catholic church then she doesn’t get to be MOH.” ~ mjot_007

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

It sounds like your sister needs to do some deep soul-searching.

But you should have the wedding you want.

Your wedding. Your guest list. Your rules.