Main Character syndrome is a term used to describe a person who believes that their personal story is the story of everybody.
The idea being that they are the main character in the story of life and we're all here to push that story forward.
So what happens when this belief conflicts with reality - and with your choice of dress?
That was the issue facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) labamsy71 when she came to the "Am I the A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for judgment.
She asked:
"AITA for not buying a new graduation dress?"
OP got right to the problem at hand.
"I (17F) bought a champagne-coloured grad dress (I go to a small school so high school grad and prom are the same night/same dance event). So this is a formal prom dress."
"A couple from my grade just got engaged and announced they're going to get married the weekend after graduation. The problem is, the bride-to-be is planning to wear white to prom and asked that I get a new dress because mine is too "bridal" and would take away attention from her. I told her no, and her and her friends are being really mean and hostile towards me."
She was left to wonder,
"AITA? It would be timely and costly to sell mine and buy a new dress, and I really love the one I bought."
Having explained the situation, OP turned to Reddit for judgment.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
-
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: NTA
Some pointed out the obvious.
"NTA prom is not her wedding" ~ 0000udeis000
"Corollary: You may safely ignore anyone who mistakes a prom for a wedding (and related wedding rules)"
"I hope they look back at this and cringe." ~ Ruval
"NTA."
"Prom isn't her event and has nothing to do with her wedding. Wear your dress!" ~ mozzarella_lady
"Your dress isn't white. It is champagne colored."
"If she wanted to color coordinate the grad dresses, she should have informed the people attending way earlier. You already spent your money on a dress."
"Just because she wants to color-coordinate the grad party, doesn't mean you have to agree."
"It's the grad party of your class, not her wedding."
"Grad party means the end of high school. The future bride and her friends need to grow up and learn how to behave in the post-high-school world." ~ DoIwantToKnow6417
"NTA at all."
"You're kids celebrating two important events as a class before you venture out into the world and discover how to be adults."
"If your classmate thinks she can hijack these milestones from everyone else by making herself the center of attention, she's far too immature to get married, which is no surprise as she is, as I said, a kid."
"Just ignore her and her friends and wear your dress. Congrats btw!" ~ tessahb
There were those who expressed how age changes your perspective.
"I look back at my 18yo self and cringe all the time. In my opinion, if you're not cringing at your 18yo self, then everyone else will still be cringing at you." ~ MagentaKevin
"I'm almost 26, and with every year that passes, I look back at myself from the year prior and think, 'what an idiot'. We're human."
"We grow and learn and change all of the time!" ~ feckingloser
"Super common, unfortunately, at least it was in my area."
"Half my graduating class got married right out of high school."
"Most popped out a kid or two and divorced within 1-3 years."
"I'm only in my 20s, but my entire Facebook feed is baby announcements or divorce drama."
"The ones who made it past three years are still divorcing left and right."
"I got married young, but I had at least graduated college and lived with my partner before deciding to tie the knot."
"Trust me, you don't know your partner's annoying little quirks until you've lived with them, even if you've known them your entire life like I've known my husband."
"Most of the people who got married were couples that would break up every other week, to begin with before 'making up' until the next fight."
"I think my graduating class is just cursed with bad luck to begin with though, since a quarter of them died within a year or two of graduating."
"Out of the remaining quarter I'm a part of, over half of them, are in jail or prison from things ranging from petty theft to straight-up murder."
"I called the murder part all the way back in high school. I said for years the guy would end up killing someone."
"I was wrong about the other guy I said would end up killing someone, though. He ended up becoming infamous on TikTok and became the laughing stock of everyone who knows him personally."
"People who don't know him speculate if it's just a persona made up for Tiktok but I can vouch he's just f*cking crazy and even worse in real life." ~ River_7890
Others were concerned about the future.
"To be real though, I've been with my partner since hs, and every single couple I know who has rushed into marriage under 20 has been divorced by 30."
"We aren't officially married yet but did not rush into an engagement."
"People change so much mentally and emotionally between 16 and 24 that you really can't be sure you'll even still get along." ~ Auroraburst
"Bingo bango, kids this age getting married bodes ill, particularly ones this bothered about a dress." ~ SuzannesSaltySeas
"Why is no one else pointing out how ludicrous it is to get married in high school!!!"
"Like Jesus Christ, you haven't even discovered who you are yet, let alone how you and a significant other can fit with one another." ~ Kjolter
Commenters embraced the petty.
"NTA"
"Graduation is not her event."
"Because I'm petty, I'd see how many parents I could convince to get their daughters flowers."
"So as many girls as possible can be standing around in nice dresses with bouquets." ~ salamanderinacan
"Ohhhh, prom veils!!" ~ Peachy_Witchy_Witch
"That would be hilarious."
"Although you'd have to explain the motivation to get people to do it."
"I mean, I would have if a friend had asked me to for this reason. But again, I'm petty and happy to stick it a bridezilla."
"Flowers can be encouraged by simply saying to proud parents - but why wouldn't you buy your daughter flowers for her graduation?"
"Isn't that just a nice thing to do?"
"Plausible deniability and all that."
"No, I didn't mean to stomp on your plan to use graduation as an engagement party. Oh look, Sally's roses match her dress." ~ salamanderinacan
Some were worried about bullying.
"You are right… She is wrong… NTA… AND…"
"You may want to consider a change to avoid the drama."
"See if you can get the dress dyed or altered to avoid a bridal look."
"The reason I say this is for you… to avoid Miss 'main character' trying to ruin your night."
"Then if anyone asks, you can say… "
"'oh well Missy is getting married and insisted on being the only one wearing white or a cream. She had people sending me nasty messages, and I just wanted to have fun with my friends… let's just go have fun'"
"Then they know she is a bully with main character syndrome, and you can enjoy your evening in a killer truffle brown dress that emanates class." ~ FlyingSpaghettiFell
"NTA but expect them to try to ruin your dress, tbh."
"High school girls are mean, and if you show up in it, I can see them planning on how to spill punch or sauce or something on it to embarrass you."
"I wouldn't get a new dress personally, but I'd be cautious of being around them & their friends." ~ totally-tarythia
"NTA it's prom not the wedding (unless they plan to hijack it, getting someone there to officiate). Be cautious. They may try to ruin your dress." ~ Corpse_Thing
"NTA - I wouldn't get too near anyone she's close with while they're holding drinks."
"They may have the bright idea to try and ruin your dress MOH-style."
"Prom is not a wedding, and she should have fun with her idea but mind her business." ~ synthgender
"NTA"
"But be careful as one or more of them might be planning to 'spill' something all over your dress."
"If it were me, I'd pack a small squeeze bottle of red food coloring."
"You can easily tuck it into your bra, and if your dress gets ruined, make sure the bride's dress does too."
"And get that dye all over her face and arms to f*ck up her wedding pics."
"Don't tell anyone. Just do it."
"You'll be glad you have that tiny little bottle tucked away when the rage overcomes you after that ruin your dress and start pointing and laughing at you." ~ shikakaaaaaaa
She did return to express her gratitude.
EDIT: Thank you so much everyone. I'm reading all of your comments! I feel like less of a bad guy now!
We all start with a certain level of self-centeredness, of course.
Every kid thinks they are the main character of the story, but as we mature, we realize that other people have stories just as vibrant as our own.
And sometimes, those people get to wear pretty dresses.
Woman Breaks Up With 'Clingy' Boyfriend For Making Joke About 'Getting With' Her Sister
As much as we might want to date someone, there's no point in trying to gain the attention and affection of someone who does not want to reciprocate.
Dating someone "similar" to fill that void isn't a good look, either, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Flashy-External1666 had been long-distance dating a guy from her friend group for about a month, even though he'd expressed his attraction to her older sister repeatedly before they started dating.
When her sister entered a new relationship, the Original Poster (OP) was hurt and disgusted that her boyfriend insinuated that he could have been trying to "get with" her sister while he was instead busy dating her.
She asked the sub:
The OP was aware that her boyfriend had his eye on someone close to her before dating her.
"I (19 Female) am with M (21 Male), and we've been together for a month. We were friends before this, for a while."
"For some background, when we were in a friend group, he'd always talk about how my sister (23 Female) was super hot and how he wanted her, but she was in a relationship at the time."
When he found out that her sister had been in-between relationships, he had an unsavory reaction.
"Earlier today, I mentioned to him how my sister started seeing this new guy, and I was super proud of her, because she went through a lot with her last relationship."
"His immediate reply was, 'Dang,' one month too late' with a sad emoji, insinuating that he was one month too late to get with her, because we've been together for a month."
You can see the text message exchange here:
The OP was immediately turned off by the idea of dating him.
"After I got upset and he apologized, he immediately sent me a reel that said, 'When she's already upset about me, but I have a second joke in mind.'"
"I feel like he genuinely doesn't care about me."
"He has also gotten weirdly clingy within the month, like red-flag clingy."
"He keeps trying to say how he loves me, wants to marry me, and wants me to go live with him. But he also always brings up my exes and gets super jealous when HE mentions them."
"I don't know what to do. Should I block him??"
"He's mentioned before that I would need to block him on everything if we ever broke up because he'd never leave me alone (we are currently long-distance)."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some were grossed out by the boyfriend's text message and understood why the OP was upset.
"The fact that he wrote all that out and even added a little emoji at the end and still decided to send it, knowing it would be hurtful for you."
"Seems like he’s texted that to see if he could get away with it. Either way, you don’t say something like that to someone you care about…" - Oven_Traditional
"NOR. Ew! That’s so disrespectful coming from someone who should be thrilled to have you."
"I’m team 'dump him.' If he has a brother, maybe ask for his brother’s number as you end it just to see how he likes it." - Entire-Tonight-1463
"NOR. He's not joking about your sister. Based on what he's said about her in the past, it would have been a wise move to NOT date him at all. PERIOD."
'There's a possibility that he's clingy/close to you for the purpose of indirectly keeping an eye on your sister. Release him and let him go, thereby setting yourself free from foolishness." - AtlJazzy2024
"He’s not for you… Break up with him and block him. You deserve a guy who treasures YOU!" - Muted-Lynx-8745
"He might be your boyfriend, but you're not his girlfriend. In his mind, your sister is." - Save-your-spoons
Others urged the OP to block her boyfriend and move on.
"Girl, it's been a month. Let that loser go." - sleepymelfho
"He kept OP as a backup, while circling her sister's orbit. What has happened to transparency and honesty in relationships? All I read now is obnoxious men doing obnoxious things to their partners."
"OP, he's keeping you around to stay close to your sister. You deserve better... NOR." - ColdHandGee
"NOR. You know that he's not joking about wanting your sister. He told on himself before you even got together, talking about how hot she was. Believe him."
"Break up with him and cut him off immediately. I can't believe you ever agreed to date him in the first place. I'd never want to date someone who had the hots for someone else in my immediate circle, whether that was a sibling or a friend." - Lanky_Mud_8148
"You’ve been dating one month, and that’s one month too long."
"He’s not joking about your sister. He fancies her more than you, and you’re the consolation prize. He will pursue her given the chance."
"Time to dump him." - Special_Wind_6708
"NOR. He can't have your sister, so you're just the next best thing. Him being a clingy weirdo that 'will never leave you alone' is the cherry on top."
"You know what to do. Dump him and block him on everything. If anyone from the friend group asks, just tell them what you told us. And you REALLY should warn your sister; you have receipts." - sdoM-bmuD
"Ditch him. Honestly. What are you waiting for?" - forget_me_not_uwu
"NOR at all. Cut this loser out of all channels of your life."
"I wouldn’t block, though. Just ghost so that he can watch you become happier without him as the ultimate revenge because I’m petty like that, and he clearly deserves it."
"ALSO, if he's as creepy and clingy as he sounds, you can have him muted, so he can see your activity, but you won't have to see his... But you'd have all of his messages as receipts if he ever became threatening or stalkerish for police purposes."
"For more context: My mum started dating my dad (when she was 19, too), who initially tried to go for her older sister (two years older) and got rejected."
"After three years of dating, seven years of engagement, and 20 years of marriage where she put up with an incompetent man-child that wouldn’t do anything for himself and expected her to completely cater to him while he berated her and treated her like s**t..."
"...it ended in him cheating on her with a waitress for over a year and denying it until my mum had literal photographic evidence, to which he had the audacity to respond with the reasoning that she was the reason he was 'driven to cheat' (as if that was even remotely close to the truth and the only option to solve his ‘problems’)."
"Save yourself, girl. This man-child can learn to pine over you and your sister from afar as you both skip into the sunset together, moving on with your lives and into better relationships that fulfill you the way you deserve!" - peachycritter
Some cautioned the OP to also cover her tracks after the breakup, as he sounded worse than "clingy" to them.
"The actual scary part isn't even the sister joke; it's, 'he said he'd never leave me alone if we broke up,' only one month in."
"That line gave me chills, and that alone would have me Googling how to block someone on every platform that exists." - babydoodle91
"Ew. These super clingy guys right out the gate are scary. Please watch your step, and erase your tracks." - Immabirb
"He sounds like a stalker... Drop him now, fast. And block him everywhere." - Admirable_Program720
"NOR, yes, you block him, and you keep him out of your life, and you tell mutual friends that if they try to facilitate contact between you two, you will block them as well. He isn't joking." - JustAsICanBeSoCruel
"I watch way too much crime for this!"
"Girl, block him. Also tell your sister to block him, too; he’s obsessed with her." - MrsRoronoaZoro
"NOR. You're underreacting, honestly."
"He wants your sister, but you're close enough. He's obsessed with her and won't give it up even though he has someone he 'wants to marry.'"
"Also, he's not lying. He probably will stalk you online afterwards; please be careful." - Phoenix-Phire-38
"NOR at all. Your post kept adding on more red flags with each additional sentence. I know you’re young, but he’s toxic, and yes, you will need to block him."
"Breaking up with someone you have strong feelings for is really difficult, so when you leave, you should make sure to lean on friends and family and keep yourself distracted with things you like and find engaging." - query_tech_sec
"The s**t with your sister is nothing compared to the love-bombing and jealousy. This guy is trouble, and scary, and you will have done the right thing when you leave him and maintain the distance between the two of you. NOR." - potatomeeple
After receiving feedback, the OP posted an update, but it seemed to be only the beginning.
"Thank you for making me feel less crazy."
"I blocked him on everything and deactivated my Instagram."
"He DM'ed a girl that I had posted ONCE on my Instagram Stories, asking about me."
"I'm not sure if he's going to keep trying to talk to me, but I hope not."
The subReddit's internal alarm bells were ringing while reading the OP's post, and they hoped that she'd leave her boyfriend in every sense of the word. They already lived long-distance, but she needed to cut him off in every other sense.
Not only was it obvious that he wanted someone else and was with the OP to "make up for it," but his "promises" of not leaving her alone if she ever broke up with him were love-bombing and stalker-like, at best.