Every couple is unique, and that includes how they met.
No matter how solid a couple is, some relationship stories aren’t going to be as cute as others, admitted the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor chasingyourvision was at a loss when he realized just how disappointed by that his future bride was.
When she expected him to embellish their story, the Original Poster (OP) began to question who he was marrying.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for telling my fiancée I am not willing to lie about how we met to her family and friends?”
The OP met his future bride in a more contemporary way.
“I met my fiancée online on a dating app.”
“We have been together for 2 years now and got engaged recently.”
He was dismayed to discover his fiancée wanted to change their story.
“However, she keeps telling me that during the wedding she wants me to give a ‘speech,’ talking about how I met her while she was working at a coffee shop.”
“She wants me to say, I was so attracted to her that it was love at first sight and I immediately asked her to be my girlfriend.”
“She says that this makes her look better and will make her look good to her friends if I say that she was so beautiful that I immediately asked her out.”
“To clarify, she is saying I have to say that I asked her to be my GF right at the counter without even having any sort of conversation with her first.”
The OP didn’t particularly like this new story.
“The only problem is I feel very uncomfortable with this untrue version of events.”
“I am happy to say she is beautiful and that I really love her personality and that we had a great connection, but I am uncomfortable with this portrayal of myself as some sort of creep who asked a complete stranger to be my girlfriend.”
“There are other lies that she wants me to go along with, too.”
“For example, I inherited a house from my grandparents, but she is asking me to tell all her friends and family that I myself paid for and ‘bought her’ the house because she is so special.”
The OP found out why his fiancée wanted him to say these things.
“Just to be clear, my fiancée said that the reason she wants me to do the speech and tell people I bought her a house is so that her friends will envy her.”
“She has already told her friends and family those things, but it’s another thing to want ME to actually talk about them and lie about these things.”
“She knows that my friends and family know I inherited the house and that we met on a dating app, but she says I have to warn them not to say anything and pretend to believe me at the wedding.”
The future bride was not happy with the OP.
“After I said no, she has been saying that I care more about the opinions of other people than how she feels and that she is reconsidering if she wants to be with someone who isn’t on her side.”
“She even gave me an ultimatum that we won’t get married if I don’t agree and hasn’t talked to me for days.”
“Do I have a point or does she?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the fiancée cared about appearances, not the OP.
“SHE cares what other people think, that’s why you need to change the narrative. She’s ashamed of the dating app and doesn’t like you didn’t buy your own house.”
“Also OP, no reason to lie about meeting online. Got my GF on Tinder almost 5 years ago and I’m proud of it!” – holy_roman_emperor
“Yo, OP, my dude, let’s make a list:”
“She cares more about portraying a fictional life than living the real one.”
“She will lie about anything.”
“She would rather end the relationship than be honest.”
“She would rather end the relationship than care about OP’s wishes.”
“What part of this is something you want to spend your life with? Or force on your (hypothetical) children?” – AQualityKoalaTeacher
“Your fiancee shows a bunch of red flags. She is the one caring too much about people’s opinions. She is a shallow person who only cares about what others think. Something that will affect your marriage negatively in the future.”
“She will have no problem lying to you or doing anything that could harm you as long as she gets what she wants.”
“Do not get married OP. You will regret it. You will regret it and you will look back on this post and see all the comments and wonder why you didn’t listen to us.”
“Don’t get married OP. Dump her. You should be with someone who is true to themself and doesn’t let others’ opinions about them affect them.”
“Someone who won’t let you make a fool of yourself by lying to make herself look better. Someone who isn’t as selfish as your fiancee is right now. NTA!” – wantout87
Others pointed out the bride was incredibly manipulative.
“Everyone’s saying the lying is the red flag but had anyone stopped to consider the fact that she’s trying to get him to reconsider by threatening to leave him and call off the wedding?”
“That’s manipulation. She’s trying to manipulate you by implying she’s going to leave if you don’t do exactly what she wants and comply with her crazy rules.”
“To me, that’s the biggest red flag of all, OP. The rest of your life is going to be like this. Reconsider marrying her. NTA.” – HaiMar_
“Oooof, think about what will happen when this relationship ends.”
“If you read OPs comments, he says his GF has already told her friends that she’s going to quit working when they get married, he’s going to give her a monthly allowance, and buy her expensive things because she’s so pretty.”
“He already knows all these statements are lies. Now imagine divorce court in 2-5 years. Alllllll the lies she will tell the court and have her friends back up how she has been supported and given these things, and how OP has himself said these things.”
“She will get spousal support and the house, and more.”
“OP, what happens when she meets someone who actually can provide her with all those things? Do you think she’ll lie to you about it?” – Super_Ad5277
“She’s waving the red flag right in front of your face, OP. If you do this you will have to catch yourself and remember all these weird lies for the rest of your life whenever you are around her family/friends.”
“Eventually those friends and family will be around someone from your side of the family and the lies will be uncovered (if they aren’t uncovered at the wedding, which I’m sure they would be).”
“The delusions, insecurity, and dishonesty are startling. But even more so is the controlling nature of this. She’s not going to marry you if you don’t lie about these things? Wtf it’s just time to reevaluate this relationship.”
“These lies aren’t the only ones. Be prepared for a whole marriage chock full of little situations like this. NTA, OP. RUN.” – lostinabsentia
The OP was at a loss when his future bride started talking about calling off the wedding, but the subReddit honestly wondered if that might be a blessing in disguise.
The more lies you tell, the more details you have to remember. It sounds like if the OP were to marry his fiancée, he would have his work cut out for him.