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Bride Disinvites Sister From Wedding For Complaining About Last Minute Wedding Date Switch

Wedding cake toppers being placed on a pie of coins.
JGI/Jamie Grill/Getty Images

If there’s one element when planning a wedding that arguably trumps all others, it is choosing a date.

For one thing, wedding planning can’t really get rolling until a date is set.

But picking the right date is important for a number of reasons, including how much it will cost, what the weather might be like, and who will and won’t be able to come.

The sister of a recent Redditor was getting married and told the original poster (OP) and their parents when she intended to have the wedding.

Much to the surprise of the OP and her parents, the bride later decided to change the date of her wedding.

To a date that the OP’s parents had mentioned a number of times, they had made plans for.

While her parents kept calm and quiet about this date change, the OP did not, confronting her sister for being insensitive.

Resulting in the OP’s being disinvited from the wedding.

Wondering if she was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for telling my sis her wedding date was poorly chosen and getting uninvited?”

The OP explained why she felt the need to confront her sister about her chosen wedding date, resulting in her invite being revoked:

“My parents have been planning a long and far away trip for about eight months.”

“There is a Long A** Weekend (LAW) with three bank holidays later this year, and they are taking advantage of them.”

“My dad recently switched jobs and only has very limited vacation days, so this would allow them to travel for longer periods of time, considering the few days he has available.”

“This is a trip they have been talking about constantly for months.”

“Late last year, my sister got engaged, and they were planning a December wedding, which we all thought was a done deal.”

“Fast forward to today, and she tells my mother they moved the date to the day before the LAW in order to cut costs.”

“My mother was disappointed but kept it to herself.”

“I, on the other hand, reminded her she knew about our parents’ trip and that it was not the best date.”

“Many people are going to take advantage of the LAW, so I also feared their guest list would dwindle.”

“She said her friends had no issues with going and that my parents had not yet bought any tickets, then left it at that.”

“The thing is, they had not bought tickets because the trip is still eight months away, and the best prices are 6 to 4 months before your travel date.”

“Some hours later, I found out they had asked her in-laws-to-be (both retired and able to travel whenever they want) if they were available for the new date, but did not extend the same courtesy to my parents, knowing they had those dates reserved for their trip.”

“So, I texted her saying that it wasn’t considerate and that she had all this information available but decided to choose the new date anyway without even asking our parents.”

“So she proceeds to uninvite me.”

“Am I the a-hole?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for confronting her sister about changing her wedding date.

Most people agreed that the OP had every right to confront her sister about changing her wedding date, as not only did she know their parents had been planning a trip this weekend for a long time. Also, if she checked with her future in-laws that the weekend worked for them, she should have checked with her own parents as well, with some wondering if the OP’s sister was deliberately trying to exclude her parents from the wedding.


“I also have a question for OP: Is the sister normally like this if you two have disagreements, or is this something new?”- AgCloud


“Your parents had made clear communications that they have plans for that time, so it’s baffling to me that she still picked that date.”

“I wish your parents would just go on their holiday and skip the wedding, but they probably would not do that.”

“I hope then at least they can still go after the wedding and enjoy the long weekend.”- PropQues

“NTA but your sister and mother are.”

“Your mother for being a complete doormat.”

“But make sure you stick to being uninvited OP and don’t entertain any of your sisters BS.”- Proper-Foundation668

“Read the room, she planned that date purposefully.”

“She either doesn’t want you and your parents there, or she wants to punish your parents.”

“NTA.”- Beautiful-Report58


“But actions have consequences, though it sounds like she isn’t blessed with the best personality.”

“Now you’re free to travel that weekend too.”- vt2022cam


“Very selfish of your sister.”

“I feel bad for your parents who were looking so forward to this trip.”- dutchy81

“NTA this is a power play by your sister seeing just how much she can trample over the other people in her life.”

“Don’t let her get away with it.”- Big_Alternative_3233

“NTA and if she’s being like this I’d happily not go.”

“I’d encourage your parents to take the vacation they want to as well, but they might be unwilling to miss their daughter’s wedding even though the daughter is a narcissist a**hole.”

“At least they have one decent kid, you.”- Ok_Expression7723


“Enjoy your LAW.”

“Hope your parents go on their trip.”- Hushes

“NTA, but ‘dis-inviting’ a sister because she criticized the approach to selecting the date is somewhere on the AH spectrum.”- CatteNappe


“It sounds like this was intentional and not to cut costs, considering she spoke with her ILs before making the change.”

“Is your sister accustomed to being invited on vacations with your parents?”

“Were they planning a trip to a location she wanted to visit?”

“It feels like she intentionally did this to sabotage their trip knowing they’d cancel for her wedding.”-cryssylee90


“Your sister is being completely unfair.”

“She should have asked your parents first if changing the date was okay.”

“Also, your parents should have said something.”- the_greek_italian

“NTA and by your parents’ resigned response, seems like she tends to pull selfish/entitled acts regularly.”- Ladyughsalot1

“NTA but your sister is extremely inconsiderate.”- MegRB1

“NTA Weddings bring out the worst in people.”- mostly_bad


“It looks like sis sees this as a feature, not a bug.”

“I hope your parents aren’t chipping in for the wedding.”- AnnoyedRedheadedMom

“So she has the courtesy to ask her soon-to-be-in-laws but can’t be bothered to ask your parents when this entire time she has known about this trip being planned.”

“And then deciding to un-invite you because she knows you’re right, let’s be clear here.”

“There was absolutely no other reason to do such a thing except for the fact she probably knew there wasn’t really an excuse for her behavior, so she uninvited you as a way to lash out.”

“Either way, NTA but she sure as hell is being one towards your parents.”

“I don’t understand people sometimes.”- Ali_Cat222

“She probably hopes they will donate their travel fund to her wedding since they probably can’t go now.”

“NTA, but she sure is.”- Sure_Flamingo_2792


“Your sister is incredibly selfish.”- Artistic_Tough5005

“NTA, your sister is though.”

“What a horrible thing to do to your parents.”- SubarcticFarmer

“NTA but your sister sure is.”

“Hope your parents get to go on their trip, and Sister is somehow forced or coerced into not doing this.”

“Maybe her soon-to-be will wise up and flee when he sees how she’s treating her family.”- mifflewhat

The OP later returned with an update, sharing that her sister and her parents had a discussion regarding her choice of wedding date and sharing why she felt the need to speak up and question her sister about changing the date:

“My father called my sister and asked her to please reconsider the date, as they would be unavailable.”

“He also stressed that they absolutely want to be a part of her wedding because it is a very important date to her.”

“She seemed agreeable, so I’m hopeful she’ll change it.”

“Some of you asked why I butted myself into the issue, which is a fair question.”

“I guess it’s more cultural than anything.”

“Families here tend to be close here and we all have Opinions.”

“It’s difficult to disentangle yourself from family drama.”

“Besides, my mother was upset, and if you mess with my mom, I will have Words.”

Considering the OP’s sister took the time to check with her future in-laws that the new date worked for them, it seems fair for the OP’s parents to speak up when her sister didn’t grant them the same courtesy.

Hopefully, this means that the OP’s parents can still take their long-awaited trip, and the OP’s sister will find a date that suits her.

Now let’s just hope the OP gets her invitation back.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.