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Bride Sparks Drama After Kicking Her Drug Addict Sister Out Of Her Wedding For Falling Off The Wagon

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Redditor vpowa is a bride-to-be who is putting her foot down with a difficult decision to ensure she has a wedding without family drama.

When the bride’s initial decision to involve her ostensibly sober sister in the wedding party proved to be unwise, she went to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit and asked:

“AITA for removing my sister from my wedding?”

The Original Poster (OP) indicated the problem from the start.

“My sister (36 f[emale]) is on meth. I know I (27 f[emale]) say it so nonchalant, but it is what it is.”

“I’ve been dealing with her drug addiction since I was 12. She’s been on and off drugs for so long and when I got engaged, she was clean.”

“Everything was great, she was participating in the planning of the bachelorette party and the bridal shower, she sounded like she was sober and excited, etc. Then out of no where she decided the dress I picked for everyone wouldn’t suit her.”

“She wanted a completely different dress. I was annoyed by this but agreed.”

“Then she decided she and her boyfriend should be staying in the same house as me and my fiancé the days leading up to the wedding. She said it was selfish of me to want the house we rented to ourselves.”

“I said f’k no you’re not staying with us and my mom has been b*tching ever since (I just ignore her).”

“The day of the shower comers and she doesn’t show up, she texted me three days later to say she fell off the wagon and she’s sorry but that I should understand and forgive her for not being able to attend. Fine, it’s my sister, I’m not going to cause a problem so I let it go.”

“Well three weeks later and now it’s time for the bachelorette party. She has been MIA according to the other bridesmaids (she doesn’t answer any of my calls either) so I decided she’s not going to be in the wedding.”

“She needs to work on getting better and this isn’t going to help her. Well after doing so my mom flipped her sh*t and told me that it’s wrong of me to exclude my sister. ‘She’s family and I need to have a bit of ‘grace’.’”

“In my head this is a big what the f’k no. She isn’t in a good spot and for once in my life I want something to be about me and not revolved around the family.”

“I decided to go ahead and remove her from the wedding party despite the family objections. Needless to say everyone is p*ssed at me. Yeah she’s family but, AITA for kicking my sister out of the wedding?”

Anonymous strangers on the internet were asked if and where guilt belongs by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

“NTA. ‘She’s family’ is a stupid thing to say. Family is supposed to go both ways. You’re her family too, and she doesn’t care for you.” – YourUsernameForever

“Whoa big NTA. It’s your wedding. What your sister is doing IS selfish and also she is the a**hole. Your family needs to realize that she’s basically the problem and not you.” – Vaermina44

“NTA. Your sister needs counseling and rehab. Even if she did show up to the wedding (which seems unlikely given recent behavior), I doubt she would be in a good/coherent state and could very likely cause problems.” – Deceptivejunk

“NTA it sounds like your mom has a bigger problem with it than your sister does. It’s not like you plan on kicking out of the wedding completely right? Like she’s still able to attend?”

“I agree she needs to be focusing on getting better and the stress of being part of a wedding party might be a part of what’s triggering her relapse. The thing is, the next time she’s tempted she might think about what it costs her including being in your wedding party. It might actually help her.” – chronocontract

In response to the above comment, the OP wrote:

“I kind of thought the same at first, but everything I’ve done to keep her engaged has failed.”

“At this point my mom wants me to continue to beg my sister to be apart of everything and to stop doing what she’s doing. I’ve done this though and it hasn’t helped.”

“I’m so stressed from work and this and two of my friends are getting married soon after me (I’m in their weddings) so I don’t feel like I have all this extra time to continue to beg and plead my sister to be better.”

“I text her daily but she doesn’t respond. She lives four states away from me so I can’t just go to her house and force her to be better. I feel I’ve done all I can to do and I can’t trust her to be sober at my wedding and give the toast and whatnot.”

Someone who can relate to the sister offered this insight:

“As a former addict, I would always have to be on something to get through family events, although I know everyone’s different. If drugs are your coping mechanism and you’re new to sobriety it would be very, very tempting to have something to get you through a social event.”

“Your mother is not doing your sister any favours in the long run by protecting her from the consequences of her decisions. NTA and good luck!” – Gutter_Twin

“You have no obligation to your sister if she won’t do the same for you, and as others have said, what your mother wants you to do will continue to enable her. Frankly, I wouldn’t blame you if you said you didn’t want her at your wedding at all.”

“I finally cut my sister off for alcoholism after repeatedly falling off the bandwagon over and over again. I told her if she can stay sober for a year I’ll consider reinitiating something but until then it’s too much emotional stress for me.”

“You deserve better than that and honestly I’d recommend therapy for you if it’s within your means.” – Mysterion_Rising

Overall, Redditors declared that the OP was NTA and expressed that she was entitled to have a stress-free wedding.

Hopefully her sister will get the help she needs to get and stay clean.

Koh Mochizuki

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a New York-based actor and writer. Originally hailing from Los Angeles, he received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese. Disney parks are his passion, and endless cups of coffee are a necessity. Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1