There are those who claim that love at first sight does, indeed, exist.
When they see a stranger across a crowded room whom they know, deep down in their heart, is the one they are going to spend the rest of their lives with.
Even if these predictions turn out to be accurate, most couples in this day and age take their time before making it official and saying, “I do.”
While others don’t see the point in waiting and jump right to it.
Redditor unsupportivesister fell into the latter category, who excitedly accepted her boyfriend’s proposal after only 6 months of dating.
This decision raised more than a few doubts for the original poster (OP)’s sister, who wasn’t afraid to share her uncertainty.
A move that the OP did not appreciate one bit, leading her to make a rather drastic decision.
Wondering if she was being fair, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not inviting my unsupportive sister to my wedding?”
The OP explained why she didn’t think her sister was worthy of a wedding invitation.
I (24 F[emale]) got engaged to Derrick (30 M[ale]) one month ago.”
“Prior to that, we had known each other for six months.”
“I know that’s not a long time, but when you know, you know.”
“We are madly in love and ready to commit ourselves to each other fully.”
“My sister (26 F[emale]) has a problem with that, though.”
“She was supportive of my relationship with Derrick before we got engaged.”
“When I sent her a text telling her we were engaged, she responded by saying ‘congratulations.’”
“But then, when I saw her the week after that, she got all serious and said I should strongly consider the marriage.”
“She told me I was young and could meet people I loved more.”
“That was offensive to me because I love Derrick more than anything, and she’s basically saying my love isn’t that important.”
“She also told me that Derrick and I could date for longer before we got married.”
“But we are already fully committed to each other, so we might as well get married and be recognized as soul mates in the eyes of the law.”
“Anyway, the conversation was so hurtful to me.”
“I eventually asked her, very directly, ‘do you support me marrying Derrick?'”
“She said no.”
“So I stood up, told her she shouldn’t be at the wedding if she didn’t want us to get married, and left. I haven’t talked to her since, although she has texted me multiple times asking to talk.”
“Derrick and I were working on the wedding guest list yesterday, and we both agreed my sister should not come if she doesn’t support us.”
“So we are planning not to invite her.”
“I mentioned this to my friend yesterday, and she pointed out that it may be a little rude of me not to invite her.”
“So, AITA for not inviting my unsupportive sister to my wedding?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The OP’s decision did not sit well with the Reddit community, who generally agreed she was indeed the a**hole for not inviting her sister to her wedding.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s sister was not being unsupportive but was instead expressing genuine concern, with many agreeing that the OP’s sister’s concerns were more than valid.
“How much about Derrick do you know?”
“Because I feel like your sister maybe right about not wanting you to get married, I mean you’ve only dated 6 months, and he pops the question, that’s very suspicious if you ask me.”-Common_Exam_1401
“YTA, and she’s not being unsupportive of your relationship, she’s being supportive of you.”-RememberKoomValley
“YTA.”
‘Getting married is not being recognized as soulmates in the eyes of the law.”
“You don’t have a realistic view of what marriage is.”
“Your sister is supporting you by giving you the best advice she can.:
“Are you willing to torpedo your relationship with your sister forever because she hurt your feelings regarding your relationship?”
“If your relationship is meant to last, it will survive a reasonable amount of time before the wedding.”
“Think carefully before you overreact to your sister’s words of caution.”- squirrelsareevil2479
“I don’t know if YTA per se, but I think you’re being very naïve, and I agree with your sister.”- lihzee
“I’m going to tell you this right now:”
“Love is not a feeling.”
“Love is an action.”
“Love is work.”
“Six months into a relationship is not long enough to know that you are ready to put in the work that it will take to maintain it.”
“I’ve seen too many relationships that start like this and end in flames.”- sarcastibot8point5
“YTA.”
“Your sister said nothing negative about Derrick or your love for one another.”
“She gave you incredibly GOOD advice.”
“If my 24-year-old sister got engaged after only a few months of dating, I’d give the same advice too.”
‘It’s concerning to me how readily you and Derrick are to cut your sister out.’
“This is a big red flag to me.”- Pepper-90210
“YTA.”
“I’m sorry, but 6 months ain’t enough.”
“What’s people’s problem with waiting?”
“I don’t get it.’
“Y’all can’t be madly in love for like a year or something?”
‘Also, your sister is just concerned.”
“It doesn’t mean she doesn’t like your fiancé or is “unsupportive” of y’all’s relationship, just the ‘getting married so fast’ part.”- Own-Whereas-7420
“YTA.”
“You’re upset because your sister expressed honest concern.”
“Your response was childish.”
“And kicking her out of your wedding is equally so.”- CivilAsAnOrang
“YTA.”
“I do agree that people can know after 6 months that they have found the person for them.”
“But those people would also be mature enough not to permanently shut someone they live out with no chance of redemption because the initial reaction to their engagement isn’t unequivocally supportive.”
“Their future spouses would also not encourage them to cut ties with loved ones after a single conversation.”- Curious-Mousse-8714
“This is very valid concern from a sister that wants the best for you.”
“Six months sounds like an awfully short time to already consider someone your ‘soulmate.'”
“You both may disagree with her, but this concern is reasonable.”
“She was honest and direct about it instead of telling you exactly what you wanted to hear.”
“And you reply to that by being petty and vengeful not inviting her to your wedding.”
“Mild / soft YTA.”- Frank_Acha
“YTA.”
“Your sister is correct.”- Mabelisms
“You can invite (or not) anyone you want, but YTA for not realizing more than half the people there will privately have the same concerns.”
“Your sister cared enough to say it to you directly.”- purplewoodcarver
“This would confirm your sister’s suspicions.”
“That you are not mature enough to take such an important decision.”
“She was honest when you asked her directly, and you are behaving like a teenager.”
“YTA.”- Far_Opening2859
“YTA, six years older man, 6 months total length of a relationship.”
“That is throwing red flags all over the place.”
“Your sister is trying to protect you.”
“It is possible that your relationship will be OK, but I’d doubt it.”- It_s_just_me
“YTA, but here is some advice.”
“You should try a long engagement and maybe living together.”
“7 months at 24yo is not enough time.”
“I don’t doubt you feel like you’re in love, but if it’s true love, you’ll feel the same a year from now.”
“The worst thing to do is rush into it.”
“So what’s the rush?”
“You can be fully committed with a ring and don’t need to be legally married.”
“The upside of waiting is a stronger bond, learning more about interests, travel together.”
“Downside is potential for loss of time, money and assets due to nasty divorce.”
“If he loves you, he’ll wait.”
“He’s 30 and will understand.”- PlusBackground9874
“You are not mature enough to be married.”
“YTA.”
“The reason people wait until later in their relationships to get married is not always because they’re not sure they love each other enough to commit.”
“It’s very often so that they can get a fuller view of each other as people.”
“After six months, how many arguments have you had?”
“Do you know how each other handles conflict?”
“What about a life-altering situation like the death of a family member or a serious illness?”
“Have you had to make any major decisions together about money, where to live, etc?”
“Big experiences like this tell you a lot about a person and a potential future spouse.”-her_ladyships_soap
It’s the job of an older sibling to look out for their younger siblings.
That seems to be all the OP’s sister was doing, as she otherwise seemed to like Derrick, as well as his relationship with her sister.
Hopefully, after some time to pause and reflect, the OP will realize that not having her sister at her wedding is a decision she will regret for the rest of her life.
This is also how she might feel about her marriage if she really doesn’t give it due consideration.