in , ,

Bride Called ‘Sexist’ For Insisting Her Large-Chested Sister Wear A Bra To The Wedding

woman putting on a bra
jacoblund/Getty Images

The term “wardrobe malfunction” means a clothing failure that accidentally exposes a person’s intimate anatomy or “an unanticipated exposure of bodily parts.”

Chambers Dictionary defines it as “the temporary failure of an item of clothing to do its job in covering a part of the body that it would be advisable to keep covered.”

While the etymology of the term traces back to a February 2004 joint statement by two pop icons, it’s since become a common phrase in the English language. And while performing before millions of people on live TV is probably the worst imaginable place to have a wardrobe malfunction, the middle of your sister’s wedding or reception isn’t ideal either.

A bride-to-be was concerned a wardrobe malfunction was in her sister’s future, but when she tried to mitigate the threat of a wedding day “nip slip,” she was accused of being sexist.

Hoping to avoid embarrassment and conflict, the woman turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for a sanity check.

Technical_Weight4608 asked:

“AITA for telling my sister she is required to wear a bra at my wedding?”

The original poster (OP) explained:

“I love my sister. And truthfully when I say required I’m obviously not going to kick her out if she doesn’t wear one but like she really, really, really needs to.”

“My sister is well endowed and hates bras.”

“When she’s wearing certain items like baggy t-shirts it’s not so noticeable but in the dress (that she chose, I just gave her a color) she’s wearing in my wedding it will be very, very obvious she’s not wearing a bra and one wrong move and she could be flashing everyone.”

“Not only does it look bad, but it’s also borderline inappropriate.”

“I told her let’s go shopping and she can try a bunch of different ones, I even found a boutique in our area because stores carry very few options in her size and said I’d pay for whatever she picked out.”

“Now she’s saying I’m playing into sexist stereotypes.”

“I’m saying that there’s a good chance if you dance too hard in this dress your titty is going to pop out and I don’t think thats sexist.”


The OP added further clarification.

“The dress is low cut made with two panels that criss cross. It is too tight so the panels cut her boobs ‘in half’ if that makes sense with half exposed and half not.”

“When she walks in the dress her boobs shift towards the exposed center so that she is constantly pulling the material back over and tucking them in.”

“Also, it’s not about my sister’s cleavage looking better then mine.”

“She’s my sister, I want her to look fantastic. I’m going to be wearing a thirty pound bright white dress, I’m not worried about people not seeing me.”

“If she had smaller boobs it wouldn’t be an issue with this dress. If she had small boobs and was wearing a dress that could expose said smaller breasts I would still have an issue.”

“If a man were to come to my wedding with his nipples exposed he would be kicked out. I’m not into the frat bro take off your shirt and wear your tie around your head, it’s not happening either.”

“I’m all for topless beaches. I’m not for topless weddings.”

“To everyone saying ‘well in Europe’, please point me to a European country where it is considered normal for European women to attend a wedding with their boobs out.”

The OP summed up her conundrum. 

“I could be the a**hole because it is my sister’s body and her choice to wear or not wear what she likes.”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

Redditors mostly voted the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).

“Nah, NTA. If she doesn’t want to wear a bra at an official event, she needs to choose the dress that allows it. If she chose the dress that is tight fit, thin, see through or with noticable cleavage, she needs to wear a bra.”

“No one wants their sis to flash her t*ts during their wedding.” ~ Ok_Yesterday_6214

“Even I wear a bra sometimes if I am about to flash my boobs to other people (wider croptops), and I barely have boobs.”

“Outlines of nipples? Usually okay. See through? Wear a bra. Your boobs almost falling out? Certainly wear a bra! NTA.” ~ EggplantHuman6493

“NTA to expect someone to not flash half the wedding and cause a scene.”

“That’s kinda basic for attending someone’s event.”

“Different dress, bra, whatever. Long as boobs remain where boobs need to be.” ~ Jhe90

“NTA Buzzwords are all the rage these days even when they clearly do not apply.”

“Not wanting your sister’s boobs to fall out is NOT sexist.”

“Using sexism as a bludgeon all the time renders the term useless.” ~ BlueGreen_1956

“NTA, you’re trying to compromise here. You want your wedding to be remembered as ‘that beautiful wedding where OP and partner pledged themselves together,’ not ‘remember that time OP’s Sister flopped a t*t out on the dancefloor?’.” ~ Sufficient-Rock2243

However, some felt the OP was the a**hole (YTA)…

“YTA—I feel like you’re trying to micro-manage. I don’t think nipples are going to make or break your wedding. This reminds me of a girlfriend I had who was a bridesmaid and forced to cover all her tattoos with makeup. It almost ruined their friendship, to be honest.” ~ giglbox06

“YTA. You don’t get to dictate other people’s underwear.” ~ EmeraldIbis

“Also, why are all y’all Americans so horrified at half of the population’s nipples?” ~ Cent1234

…setting off a debate in the comments.

“As a European, there really is a time and place. This isn’t about sexism, I wouldn’t want a man to slip a nipple at my wedding, either. Wanting your sister to not flash everyone with her t*ts is not unreasonable.”

“This isn’t sunbathing on the beach, this isn’t your own home, this isn’t a sauna, this isn’t a swimming pool, this is your sister’s wedding. Wearing a bra for once, just one day, one evening even, is not that hard.” ~ lunablah_blahblah

“No woman should have to wear a bra, ever.” ~ Halvus_I

“Americans are, yes, weird about nipples. But that’s not something that’s gonna change in time for OP’s wedding.”

“Also… guys don’t usually show their nipples at a formal event. I would be unhappy if my brother showed up in a nipple-baring outfit to my formal wedding.” ~ Unfair-Fox-6947

“YTA. She’s a grown woman, and she can make her own choices about what she wears. She can see how she looks, she’s had this body her whole adult life, she knows what she can and can’t do in different garments.”

“Even if the local boutique carries her size, the bras there might not suit the dress, or pinch and dig in. Let her live!” ~ batikfins

“You’re right, bro. I’ll just wear some silk pants and no underwear, so my d*ck and balls are swangin back and forth like a grandfather clock whenever I move. Definitely appropriate, right?” ~ Subdivisions-

“Does she have a history of her tatas popping out at inappropriate times? Seems like she has a long history of going braless, so I would assume there have been some non-isolated nip slips which have you worried?”

“If the answer is no, then YTA and are perpetuating objectification and sexism. That’s your right, it’s your wedding, and neither of those are illegal socially, but it still makes you an AH.” ~ Name-Initial

“This is really getting blown out of proportion. A whole bunch of people are getting on OP about how tits aren’t a big deal, which is true, but they are ignoring the fact that a wedding is not the time to see them.”

“Penises aren’t a big deal either, but if I whip it out and let it fling around during the reception people won’t be happy.” ~ Starryskies117

“Exactly. Some people are acting like OP created the patriarchy or something.” ~ ManicPixieDreamGirl5

But some saw no maliciousness or inconsideration from either sister and decided there were no a**holes here.

“Going NAH. I think you are allowed to want your wedding party to look a certain way. I think they are allowed to respectfully reject things that will make them extremely uncomfortable.”

“Now it is just a decision on your end if this is enough to have her sit out the wedding party duties or if you want to keep working with her in a resolution that works for both of you.” ~ Youaresomethingelse

“NAH. Maybe nipple covers would be enough to keep them both happy? Or the tape kind?”

“I have big boobs, and I LOVE my bras! Not wearing one will result in pain, so I don’t get the issue.” ~ Thedonkeyforcer

“NAH, just two women with conflicting ideas of what’s appropriate for a wedding. Your sister is allowed to wear what she wants, but I think it’s very valid to sit her down and tell her you want her to look her best, and right now, this dress isn’t doing it. Say you, of course, won’t control what she wears, but ask if you can find something that fits her awesome body just the way it should.”

“Instead of fighting it, maybe appeal to her distaste for sexism to find a solution. Most ready-to-wear dresses are designed for B cups. Your sister sounds like her breasts are bigger than that. That works for loose-fitting garments, but for tight garments, it becomes obvious that the soulless clothing manufacturers didn’t have her in mind. (I say this as a DDD.)”

“Tell her you’re happy to pay for a dress made more to her measurements so that you’re supporting companies that are inclusive of all body types instead of sexist companies that assume women are the same size. If she’s still committed to this dress, look into body tapes. There are some great YouTube tutorials on taping up larger breasts in dresses like the one you described.” ~ FKAFigs

The OP responded to this comment:

“I really like this suggestion, thank you!”

Many Redditors offered alternatives to bras, complete with links to products and tutorial videos.

“Could you suggest tape as an option, ie, the double-sided one that holds your clothing to your skin? It may be an easier trade-off.” ~ Karma-Chameleon_

“YYYYAAAAASSSS, she has so many options. Double-sided tape, boob tape, pasties, silicone sticky cups, literally so many that don’t involve straps around your body.” ~ Minty_Green63

“I’m a J cup, and I wore pasties and boob tape for my sister’s wedding last year and it worked out great. They make boob tape specifically for busty women.” ~ 0eozoe0

Fumi Desalu-Vold has an excellent tutorial on how to use tape for bigger boobs on her YouTube channel!” ~ Egga-Mooby-Muffin

“Check out Goodlines! They have video tutorials with women of all sizes, and they have a lot of different products. It’s my go-to, I wore it for my own wedding.” ~ Laureltess

“The store Juicy Body Goddess, they are a boutique for extra curvy sisters, and then look for their Big O’Titty tape. They have tutorials too.” ~ LouismyBoo

“I follow a girl on Tiktok, Roxy Stylezz, and she has big ol’ boobies, and she did a tutorial on how to give yourself a lift and tuck in the chest area not too long ago.”

“It’s a tutorial with bright green strips of tape, so should be easy to pick out from her profile.”

“I found it informative as someone who dislikes bras but definitely needs something.” ~ Agitated-Handle-7750

“I’m a 34GG/36G and I’ve done support just fine with boob tape. Is it as perky as an underwire bra? No. But it certainly would work for preventing a wardrobe malfunction.” ~ Thequiet01

The OP returned with a final update.

“I have decided I am just going to leave it alone.”

In the end, the OP decided to let her sister handle the possible wardrobe malfunction however she wanted.

After all, she’s lived in that body her entire life.

Who knows better what it will or won’t do?

Hopefully this bride can let her worries about her sister go so she can just enjoy her big day.

Written by Amelia Mavis Christnot

Amelia Christnot is an Oglala Lakota, Kanien'kehá:ka Haudenosaunee and Metís Navy brat who settled in the wilds of Northern Maine. A member of the Indigenous Journalists Association, she considers herself another proud Maineiac.