One thing many couples look forward to after their wedding is a honeymoon. Jetting away to an exotic locale is the dream for many.
Time away with just you, your spouse… and your sibling. What could be better?
Yes, that is an actual scenario and yes, a bride’s sibling is really wondering why their sister doesn’t want them tagging along.
Baffled by their sister’s objection, the sibling turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
“AITA for booking a holiday at the same place my sister will be for her honeymoon?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“This is a resort that can have 1000+ people at once, so not like I’ll keep running into them. She told me that she found this great discount deal because it’s undergoing maintenance and off-season.”
“I don’t like swimming in chilly weather, but like the other amenities of the resort, and the location is somewhere I’ve always wanted to go so decided to take a look and found the same deal.”
“Now my sister is pissed at me saying I’m ‘stealing’ her honeymoon. I have no plans to be hanging out with or paying any attention to them.”
“They’ll be in a suite, and I’ll be in the cheapest room, they’ll have access to exclusive areas I won’t be allowed in, and I don’t plan on spending most of my time with binoculars looking for them.”
“How is privacy different if 1000 strangers are there and 999 strangers are there plus one person you know?”
“If I had chosen to go there before she mentioned it, and it happened to be the same dates would I have had to change the dates?”
“Like I’m not trying to argue, I’m genuinely asking. As I said, I have no plans of bothering them or even seeing them.”
“We’re interested in wholly different activities. The chances of us running into each other are slim and if I did see them somewhere, I wouldn’t approach.”
“I just don’t see it as a huge deal. There will be 1000+ other people there. I’m not stalking her to a private island.”
“I didn’t pick exactly the same dates. I’m taking off to fly to her wedding anyway, so chose 7 nights after her wedding. She’s leaving on the second day after so we’ll only overlap for four days.”
“As I said, she found a good deal with specific limitations, and I thought it worked too. We’ve both wanted to visit the city for a long time.”
“I don’t do a lot of time off and don’t have a lot of extra cash, so decided to go for it.”
“She could have been going there for a work conference and mentioned the deal, and I would have looked it up.”
The OP summed up their situation.
“I might be the a**hole because my sister found this place first, specifically for her honeymoon.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The majority of Redditors declared the OP was the a**hole (YTA).
“A thousand people are not really that many people. It’s weird and off-putting. YTA.”
“Figure something else out if money is that tight, and you simply MUST combine a vacation with this wedding trip. Look for B&Bs in the area or hostels or something, ANYTHING but being at the same place your sister is for her honeymoon.”
“Why? Because a honeymoon is supposed to be a time of sort of fantasy and ‘just us two’ for the bride and groom. Having you there ruins that feeling.”
“It takes them out of their alone time…yes, even just knowing they COULD see you in passing, even if you’re not doing the same things, is weird and uncomfortable.”
“Let them be. Figure something else out.” ~ canvasshoes2
“My high school had almost 3000 students, and I still ran into the same jerks every day. I don’t understand OP’s thought process.” ~ ChiMomSLP
“My town has 60,000 people, and I still ran into my parents two nights in a row while out to dinner. It’s not even a question of if OP will run into the sister but when and how many times.” ~ ColonialHoe
“It’s also removing how special the location will be for them. Makes it just a regular everyday resort that the sibling went to too.”
“So for years and years and years, the married couple will be asked about their honeymoon and if the sibling is in the room, they can butt in and add ‘oh & the view was to die for’ as if it’s the most normal thing in the world.”
“What the f*ck‽‽” ~ lawless_k
“My grandparents did this to my dad when he remarried. My grandpa he was just excited about the local golfing scene.”
“But while my grandma didn’t go, my parents assumed she set it up to ‘spy’ on them basically.”
“My grandma is not a malicious person, but it’s WEIRD to want to knowingly go to the same place as someone’s honeymoon.”
“My grandparents also wanted to put my grandpa on the same flight, and that didn’t help the weirdness. I doubt my dad and his new wife were able to be comfortable the whole time because of it. YTA.” ~ AmayaMaka5
“I went with my family to a resort in Mexico for spring break one year while I was in college. The previous year, I was in a toxic living situation with some roommates, one of whom bullied me to the point of me breaking the lease.”
“I saw her at the same resort once with her family, and it ruined a lot of the vacation for me since I was constantly worried about running into them. For all I knew, it was their last day there.”
“Either way, I no longer felt like I had my private time and was constantly paranoid and looking around.”
“Don’t do that to them on their honeymoon. YTA.” ~ Worried-Liver123
“YTA – There are hundred of thousands of resorts worldwide, and this resort will be available at any other time of year, including the week before and the week after.”
“Going at the same time as your sister will be there on her honeymoon is really weird behaviour.” ~ Sloppypoopypoppy
“Clearly there is not going to be 1000s of people there because they are undergoing maintenance and it is off season, that is the reason behind the special deal price.”
“So your chances are even greater to be there with your sister when she’s using the amenities, at breakfast, lunch, dinner etc…”
“Why should she have to actively try to avoid you so she can have a quiet romantic trip with her new husband OR be forced to have meals with you, sit by pool with you etc…?”
“Because, come on, you know with so much less people at the place it will either be one or the other.”
“Why do that to her? And her new husband?”
“Can you not go before her so there is only the wedding day overlap? Or just go another time.”
“You’re really being very selfish here. YTA.” ~ ContactNo7201
“It’s not even about potentially running into them—it’s the couple constantly having it in the back of their minds that OP could be wherever they are.”
“It would be such a distraction when they just want to be by themselves having a good time.” ~ Pale-Towel2069
“Also, 1,000 people at a resort at the same time? Is OP really that stupid?”
“Every resort I’ve ever been to we see the same people every freakin’ day around the pool, on the beach, or at dinner. YTA.” ~ DeviceStraight4707
“Yeah, we went on a cruise with several thousand people and literally saw the same people multiple times a day, every single day for 7 days. YTA.” ~ vwscienceandart
“They need to do some serious self-reflection. It’s not a normal thing to book a trip at the same time as your sister at the same place she’s honeymooning after taking the information she shared to help yourself out.”
“I don’t know if it’s just plain selfishness. I don’t know if OP feels the world revolves around them. I do know that this is probably not the first time OP has done this to their sister.”
“Maybe a therapist can help OP figure it out.” ~ crystallz2000
“Agreed. YTA. Just let her have this moment. Geez.” ~ C0V1Dsucks
“There are a number of places you can sign up to be notified by email of travel deals so OP can easily find another resort that’s as good or maybe even better at a discounted price.”
“These include Travelzoo, Just Vacation, and Gate 1 Travel, to name a few. I am planning a vacation later this year and have been amazed at how reasonable some of the prices are!” ~ Leading-Knowledge712
However some saw no issue with the OP being at the same resort during their sister’s honeymoon.
“Woah, I’m realising how important anything wedding-related is to most Americans. I would not give a sh*t.”
“Their very presence in the same area is an intrusion even though they probably won’t even bump in to each other? Haha.”
“And why is it such a big deal to meet someone you know on your honeymoon? NTA.” ~ roadrunnner0
“NTA. I don’t think it’s weird, as long as you’re not planning on trying to third wheel with them the whole time.”
“If you run into each other just say hey, hope you’re having fun and move along. People are acting like this is an unforgivable crime.” ~ moonfazewicca
The OP later provided an update.
“I canceled the vacation (with a fee). A lot of people are making a ton of assumptions about me.”
“I really didn’t understand why this was a big deal. I’m not a center of attention type person, I’m not wearing white to my sister’s wedding, I’m not in love with the groom, etc…”
“I genuinely didn’t think it was that big of a deal; clearly it is.”
“Thanks for the advice, everyone.”
While the OP may still not understand why their sister was upset, they did take a step toward resolving the issue.
Hopefully, they get their dream vacation someday soon.