No two weddings have the same dress code.
While most people consider weddings formal affairs, it’s not so often anymore that everyone arrives in evening gowns and black ties as much as they used to.
Indeed, if there’s one rule for female guests at a wedding to follow, it’s don’t wear white and avoid stealing attention from the bride.
Although, wearing white isn’t the only way to draw attention away from the bride.
Redditor Lopsided_Phone_4737 was at a loss as to what to wear to her close friend’s wedding.
However, after the original poster (OP) saw the requested color scheme of her friend’s wedding, she realized she had the perfect dress for the occasion.
Until, that is, her friend saw her in said dress at her wedding and was unable to hold back her fury that the OP would so willfully upstage her on her big day.
Wondering if she had done anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for wearing my wedding dress to someone else’s wedding?”
The OP explained why her choice of dress caused such a scandal at her best friend’s wedding:
“I (20 F[emale]) married my husband two years ago.”
“We aren’t rich and don’t care that much about weddings, so I wore my prom dress to my wedding.”
“It’s not a super fancy dress or anything, it’s basically a long sequin dress in deep dark blue with one sleeve.”
“My friend Ciara (22 F[emale]) was attending my wedding.”
“Since the wedding, I wore it on a few occasions because it’s basically the only one fancy dress I own.”
“Recently, Ciara was getting married and I was obviously invited.”
“The wedding color scheme was dark blue and she requested fancy attire, so I thought my dark blue dress would be fine.”
“It’s not white and it’s not even remotely close to a wedding dress.”
“I also didn’t feel like wasting money on another fancy dress that I wouldn’t ever wear again, especially since we aren’t rich.”
“So I showed up at her wedding in my dark blue sequin dress.”
“It wasn’t standing out or anything, most of the guests were wearing even more fancier dresses.”
“However, when Ciara saw me, she lost it.”
“She yelled at me in front of all the guests, in front of her husband and my husband, saying that what I did was horrible and that no one shows up at a wedding in a wedding dress.”
“I tried to reason with her, saying that the dress isn’t a wedding dress, it’s the only fancy piece of clothing I own, I wore it to multiple occasions before and after my wedding.”
“She didn’t listen and kept yelling at me to the point her bridesmaids and her husband started trying to calm her down.”
“She also said a bunch of unsavoury names to me.”
“I was very upset with the drama and decided to leave with my husband.”
“Then I started getting texts from Ciara, who blamed me for upstaging her on her wedding day, for driving a wedge between her and her husband since he said that she overreacted massively and upset her friend over a dress.”
“I decided to ignore them because I think she is being unreasonable, but a part of me thinks that I was an AH because I wore the dress to my own wedding.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for wearing her wedding dress to Ciara’s wedding.
Everyone agreed that Ciara way overreacted, as the OP’s dress didn’t come close to resembling a wedding dress, nor did it stand any chance of upstaging Ciara on her big day.
“This is your ‘fancy occasion’ dress that you wore to prom and multiple other events and just happened to wear to your wedding.”
“It’s not a wedding dress, and Cara manufactured a conflict where no one would have even been the wiser.”
“You didn’t drive a wedge between her and her husband, she did by acting ridiculously.”
“NTA and girlie’s husband is right.”
“She needs to get a grip.”- pacazpac
“NTA.”
“It’s clearly not a wedding dress, and nobody there will have thought it was.”
“She’s just annoyed that you wore your wedding dress.”
“Maybe it speaks to the sort of person she is that she thought you were doing it to try and undermine her wedding day.”
“It definitely speaks to the sort of person she is that she decided to blow up her wedding over it.”
“It’s that extreme a reaction. It feels like she was just waiting for something she could lose her sh*t over.”- thegodcomplex17
“NTA.”
“I am so curious to know what the other guests were thinking as they watched her yell at OP for wearing a blue dress to a wedding with blue as the color theme, lol.”
“That must have looked absolutely unhinged to them.”- Little-Blueberry-968
“NTA.”
“Anyone reading the headline would have their finger straight on the Y.”
“In this circumstance, however, it was absolutely ok to wear that dress & she ruined her own wedding as well as shouting at you for no reason.”
“Even her husband thinks she’s an AH from the sound of things.”
“I suspect she’s not only lost you as a friend, but her husband is likely to lawyer up soon.”
“She sounds like she’d be a nightmare to live with.”- Apart-Ad-6518
“Just a thought: if she is a close enough friend to know a blue sequined gown was your wedding dress and had seen you wear it to other social events, then she had a pretty good idea you would wear it to her wedding.”
“She could have asked you ahead of time to wear something else, but instead, she chose to make a massive scene.”
“A friend doesn’t do that.”
“NTA.”- Prize_Diamond_7874
“NTA.”
“People think that at their own wedding, they can do and say whatever they want for some reason.”
“Very unreasonable to get out of line like that.”
“She made a fool out of herself; you didn’t do anything wrong, in my opinion.”
“The only rule at a wedding is that you don’t wear white.”
“Sorry you were treated like this, I think you did the best you could by walking out.”- Fideyy
“I wore jeans and a blouse to my wedding.”
“I didn’t realize that meant I could never wear them again.”
“Your ‘friend’ showed you who she is.”
“Believe her.”
“NTA.”- skillz7930
“NTA.”
“It was originally your prom dress that you have since worn for multiple other events & is BLUE!”
“Well done walking out!”- Appropriate-Bat2762
“NTA.”
“You didn’t ruin her wedding; her throwing a massive temper tantrum that was witnessed by everyone and more than likely recorded by at least several someone was what ruined her wedding.”
“You don’t need to justify why you only own one fancy dress; many women own at least one or two – a floor length and a cocktail length – and that is enough to get them through many situations and events.”
“You also smartly bought a dress that went from prom to your wedding and several events without issue until now.”
“Well done on that purchase.”
“You were smart to leave and even more so to ignore the continued harassment.”
“I wish you all the best with your fancy dress, hopefully, you can wear it again soon and have some real fun!”- TheatreWolfeGirl
“I feel like she set you up.”
“She’s seen you in that dress multiple times, set the theme, and called out as soon as she saw you?”
“Really weird.”
“NTA.”- flmdicaljcket
“NTA.”
“That dress is in no way a ‘wedding dress’. It’s the dress you happened to wear to your wedding.”
“Your friend sounds unhinged.”- reeserdog
“You didn’t wear a wedding dress to your own wedding.”
“It was a prom dress.”
“So your friend ruined her own wedding because you wore your prom dress to her wedding.”
“NTA.”- lilly742
“NTA, and just ignore her, and don’t let it bother you.”
“That in no way resembles a wedding dress.”
“And even if you had worn arrived in full white lace and taffeta regalia with a 50-foot train, the right thing for her to do would be to ignore it and act gracious, and then everyone would be impressed with her, and you would look like the**.”
“Instead, she acted like a five-year-old throwing a tantrum.”
“Take comfort in knowing that she ruined her own wedding.”
“The only thing anyone is going to remember about her wedding now, forever, is that she had a gigantic meltdown over a dress and acted an a**.”
“That’s on her.”- Junior-Fox-760
Everyone wants their wedding day to be perfect.
Granted, many other brides would likely be furious if another woman showed up to their wedding wearing a wedding dress.
In this case, however, while the OP’s dress was the dress she got married in, it was neither white nor specifically a wedding gown and the only thing that was drawing attention towards the OP and away from Ciara was Ciara herself.
Something Ciara will likely look back on in embarrassment and shame with each passing year.