Redditor Glass_Marzipan5856 has found herself in a bit of a conundrum regarding her wedding.
She is having an early afternoon ceremony, but the time of which apparently conflicts with her nephew’s nap time.
A disagreement grew out of this scheduling snafu between the Original Poster (OP) and her sister.
This drove the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
She asked:
“AITA for telling my sister the world doesn’t revolve around her and her son?”
She went on to explain.
“I [Female age 24] am getting married to my fiancé [Male age 26] in October this year. We got engaged in January and couldn’t be more excited.”
“It’s a very small wedding and we’re only inviting close family and friends.”
“The problem is with my sister Lisa [Female age 30]. Lisa has a 2 year old son with her husband.”
“I don’t have a super affectionate relationship with Lisa for multiple reasons that I can’t fit into this post.”
“We sent out the wedding invites last month. Our wedding ceremony starts at 1:30pm and we asked our guests to please arrive at the venue by 1:00.”
“The venue is in our hometown so is close by to the majority of the people in our guest list including Lisa.”
“Lisa told me that the time ‘wouldn’t work’ because of her 2 year old’s nap schedule.”
“She said he takes a nap at 12 and that she’s not forcing him to be awake so she can get him ready for the event or he will be a terror.”
“I don’t have kids but I thought this was a silly reason? I asked Lisa if she could find a babysitter and she said she can’t because everyone she trusts will be at the wedding.”
“I suggested that they at least attend the reception but she said she won’t if she can’t be at the wedding.”
“She told me she won’t attend the wedding unless we change the time. I told her we can’t do that. Lisa said she’s not going then.”
“I was quite hurt by this. I wasn’t sure how to react in the moment so I just abruptly ended the conversation with an excuse.”
“A few days later Lisa asked me if I thought about her suggestion. I reminded her there’s no way we can change the time.”
“She told me she hopes I’m happy that they aren’t attending and said that everyone is going to ask why she’s not there and it’s all because I can’t accommodate my nephew.”
“I snapped at her and told her the world doesn’t revolve around her and her son. She called me a bridezilla and has blocked me.”
“My mom is pestering me to make ammends with Lisa but I just don’t think I’m in the wrong.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
-
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“NTA. Wow, I see why you don’t have a good relationship. She’s doing the best she can to make your day about her.”
“Ask mom how exactly she wants you to make amends? She told you she won’t come to your wedding because her son needs a nap. That’s petty level sh!t.” – Thowawayforrbn
“NTA. I have a 2.5 year old and while it’s nice for her to have consistent naps, there are times when she’s gone down earlier/later to accommodate appointments or visits.”
“There are still 3? months until the wedding, I think that’s plenty of time to find a babysitter and build a good rapport with them.”
“What about family on her hubby’s side? I’m assuming they wouldn’t be at the wedding.”
“Her asking to change the time is ridiculous.”
“She should know the planning, costs, and timing associated with weddings and that vendors aren’t necessarily going to be able to budge on time (nor should they have to).” – Top_Structure_8080
“NTA. Asking someone to rearrange their entire wedding to accommodate your kid’s nap schedule is beyond ridiculous and entitled, no matter how you’re related to them.”
“If she doesn’t come, that’s on her, not you.” – headdeskreact
“NTA.”
“If people ask why she’s not there, be sure to tell them. It’s your wedding, and the only schedule you should be concerned with when setting the time is yours and your fiance.” – Anxious-Routine-5526
“NTA”
“I’m not sure what the issue is. If she’s not coming, you don’t have to put up with her nonsense or her screaming child.”
“She doesn’t get to dictate your wedding schedule. Let her stay home and pout.” – Individual_Soft_9373
“NTA, your sister is being ridiculous. Is there no one on her husband’s side of the family (presumably not invited to the wedding) that can watch her son?”
“I do have a suggestion that might help, if your sister were reasonable.”
“When I got married, I had a 3 month old nephew, so I asked the venue if there is a quiet room that could be used as a nap room for babies.”
“There is almost always some kind of space, like an office, or the bridal dressing room, that can be used for this, and is not a big deal for most venues to accommodate.”
“This would also solve the problem of finding a babysitter, because as your sister mentioned, all her trustworthy childcare options are already at the wedding.”
“Anyone can step in and watch the baby nap while your sister enjoys herself.”
“I also invited my SIL’s parents for this purpose – they were able to watch the baby, and didn’t feel like they were missing out on my wedding, since they weren’t really expecting an invite anyway.”
“Not sure if you are able to add another person for your sister’s childcare, but it would be a nice olive branch, if you can.” – randomcharacheters
“Your sister wants you to RESCHEDULE YOUR WEDDING because it interferes with her two year-old’s NAP TIME?!?!! 😂😂😂”
“Holy entitlement, Batman!”
“Totally, NTA!” – arianrhodd
“NTA. You’re supposed to inconvenience dozens of other people so that your sister doesn’t have to be inconvenienced?”
“Let you mom know that you will be happy to make up with your sister as soon as she apologizes for making an unreasonable demand.” – Dull_Occasion3016
“NTA and you already know that. The fact that you can’t fit all the reasons you’re not close says it all.”
“Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Make sure you eat some of the food you paid for and enjoy your say! God bless!” – Legitimate_Spell_529
“NTA. Does she realize how often little kids, and especially toddlers, go through sleep cycle changes?”
“For all she knows he could decide he’s done napping by time the wedding rolls around. He could have gone through three different nap schedules, one for each month.”
“Practically the first rule of childcare is that if there is a God, he exists specifically to laugh at caregivers who try to make schedules and plans.”
“You could be the most accommodating bride in the world and it would be impossible to schedule it according to the sleep schedule of a child.” – Formal_Pea9167
“NtAH. I have 3 kids, and never once was their nap time a reason to act that way towards anyone for any reason when it comes to weddings.”
“I would tell mom politely to understand that her daughters are adults and don’t need a referee.”
“As to your sister, I would not worry about it. She either makes the effort or not.”
“I think most families understand that kind of thing, so if your sister is banking on you being shamed over her ridiculous reason for missing her own sister’s wedding, then so be it.” – Sharp_Equipment5135
“NTA – she has a lot of gall to ask you to change your time to accommodate her.”
“First off she’s not paying for any of it, so no, you’re not going to change your time.”
“If she was providing any kind of financial support, I would take it into consideration, but I’m strongly getting a sense that she is offering no form of financial support for your wedding.”
“So you do you if she’s going to be there, she’s going to be there. If not, then that’s on her. It’s your day, not hers.” – Metalstitcher_
“NTA, and feel free to tell the truth to whoever asks where she is like she says. ‘She couldn’t make it because she didn’t want her son to miss his naptime and didn’t want to get a sitter.’”
“Simple, no judgment, matter of fact. How she tries to spin it against you afterward is her own lookout and will only reflect on her, not you.” – bitofagrump
“They will ask, and you should say with a smile and with sisterly sympathy as if you totally understand:”
“‘Oh, Lisa’s son always naps at noon, and she didn’t feel good about waking him up early just for the wedding.’ Nothing more. People will understand exactly what happened.”
“NTA and don’t give in. She just wants to control your wedding and make you knuckle under to her whims.” – corgihuntress
Would this sister be called a Sisterzilla?