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Bridesmaid Balks After Bride’s Mother Demands She Take Off Her Glasses For Photos

Basak Gurbuz Derman/Getty Images

For all the joy and love they bring, weddings also come with an unavoidable amount of stress.

Any number of things can go wrong. It might rain, the cake might collapse or a bridesmaid might need to wear glasses.

Yep, apparently for redditor 4eyedandproud’s aunt, wearing glasses at her cousin’s wedding was an unfathomable offense.

This left 4eyedandproud—who was one of her cousin’s bridesmaids—questioning if she was in the wrong, eventually leading her to the subReddit Am I the A**hole (AITA).

She asked fellow redditors:

“AITA for refusing to take off my glasses at a wedding?” 

The Original Poster (OP) began her post by making it clear how dependent she was on her glasses.

“My (34/Female (F)) baby cousin Amy (24/F) asked me to be a bridesmaid.”

“Background: I have bad eyesight and wear glasses. I only take them off to shower and sleep.”

“Before the wedding Amy told me another bridesmaid was going to get contacts specifically for this, implying I should as well.”

“I reminded Amy that I don’t wear contacts but since I have multiple pairs of frames she can pick which set I wear.”

“I showed her all my options.”

“She picks the neon pink ones because she likes how they look with my dress.”

It seemed to the OP that everything was fine, and she had nothing to worry about. 

That is, until the day of the wedding.

“Fast forward to the day of the wedding.”

“While we’re getting ready, Amy’s mom (my aunt) asks me if I need access to the mirror so I can put in my contacts.”

“I’m like, ‘No, I don’t wear contacts’ and she makes this disgusted face but I find somewhere else to be before she can keep talking.”

“We get all lined up and Amy’s mom starts fussing about my glasses again.”

“She asks if I can take them off for the ceremony which is a huge no.”

“I cannot see ANYTHING without my glasses.”

“She asks if I have a less flashy pair, and I say no, this the only pair I brought with me.”

“Amy tells her mom it’s fine and they kinda tussle but the ceremony is starting so that’s the end of that.”

One could only imagine a bridesmaid’s glasses would be the last thing on any mother’s mind after seeing their daughter get married.

Not in the case of the OP’s aunt.

“Now it’s time for photos and yet again Amy’s mom is coming for my medically required accessibility aids.”

“She tells me I’m ruining the photos and to take off my glasses.”

“I protest that I can’t see without my glasses.”

“She says I don’t need to see to smile.”

“I say I’m not comfortable putting my glasses down somewhere strange and she offers to hold them for me.”

“I ask why the photographer can’t just adjust the lights but the photographer has a very clear ‘don’t bring me into this’ reaction (poor guy).”

“This whole time Amy’s either trying to tell her mom to lay off or pleading with me just to do it.”

“Finally I say that I do not want to be photographed without my glasses and that’s final.”

“If I’m ruining the photos so much, they can continue without me.”

“I take my bouquet and leave.”

“Later at the reception I keep my distance from Amy and her mom.”

“Before it’s over though I pull Amy aside to talk.”

“She apologizes for her mom, I apologize for losing my cool.”

“We hug and everything’s good between us.”

The OP believed this would mark the end of any tension between her and her aunt, but found herself in for a surprise.

“That was Saturday and Amy’s on her honeymoon, but Amy’s mom out here slandering me to the world.”

“The photos went up on Facebook and when my grandma asked why I wasn’t in half the shots … yeah.”

“My parents are on my side, but other people are saying I was stubborn for no reason and taking off my glasses wouldn’t kill me.”

“That might be the case but I wasn’t comfortable doing it.”

“I’m not ashamed of my glasses and hate anyone trying to make me feel otherwise.”

“Maybe my baby cousin’s wedding wasn’t the place to dig in my heels but I’m sick of the world acting like I’m ugly just for existing the way God made me.”


Fellow redditors offered their opinion as to where the OP fell in this particular situation:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors unanimously decided the OP was not the a**hole at her cousin’s wedding.

A few redditors pointed out the OP would likely have made funny, awkward faces without her glasses, which would have made the pictures look far more ridiculous than if she had her glasses on.

“If OP is anything like me (prescription strong asf), I can’t really pose for a photo without corrective lenses.”

“My eyes look unfocused like no one is home, it’s honestly kinda creepy. Cousin’s mom would have b*tched about that too.” – napsXfactsXsnacks

Others agreed after the bride already approved which glasses the OP would wear, the matter should have been settled and the bride’s mother only made matters worse.


“Amy literally picked out her favorite pair of the ones you had because she liked how they looked.”

“Her mom was on a rampage for no reason.”- ReginaVestra

“Definitely NTA, only Amy’s mom is the AH here.”

“It was ok for Amy to ask once, and she accepted your answer and y’all picked a pair that she agreed would work together.”

“That should’ve been the end of this whole thing.”

“Sorry you had to deal with this on what should’ve been a fun day!!”- catslady123

Several were shocked to read how little sympathy the mother of the bride showed to the OP’s medical condition.


“Clueless mother of the bride.”

“I am similarly afflicted with poor eyesight, and I am completely unable to function without glasses or contacts.”

“The ignorance of lack of empathy from that woman is disgusting.”

“Your glasses are part of who you are, and there is no reason to hide them.” – personaperplexa


“You literally need your glasses to function normally.”

“It would be like asking someone to show up without their wheelchair.”- ForkMinus1

The OP eventually thanked her fellow redditors for their feedback.

She also made it clear whatever unresolved tension she may have with her aunt, her cousin—the bride—was completely blameless in this situation.

“Amy was trying to keep peace but like her mom’s paying for everything and this wasn’t exactly out of character for my aunt either.”

“I didn’t expect or want Amy to start throwing hands.”

“She tried her best, and I respect that.”

“No beef between me and Amy, this was all auntie’s drama that we both got roped into like usual.”

The OP also shared both she and her husband wore glasses on their wedding day, and couldn’t have been happier with the way their pictures turned out.

“LMAO okay that’s the real kicker cause I got married wearing my glasses and my husband wears glasses too, so we were both glasses-ing it up the whole day and in aaaaalllllllll our photos.”

It seems safe to say the OP isn’t losing much sleep over not being in her cousin’s wedding pictures.

Not when her true, beautiful, bespectacled self was captured in all her glory on her own wedding day.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.