We can all agree that abiding by a dress code can be a pretty annoying feat, especially if it’s a color scheme or cut that we don’t usually wear.
But when it’s a special occasion, sometimes it’s best to just play along, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Preparing for her friend’s bachelorette party, Redditor Floraldress8 noted the dress code requirements and decided she had a dress that would work well enough for the event.
But when she showed up and was the only one stealing focus from the bride, the Original Poster (OP) was even called out by the event’s photographer.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for wearing a floral dress to a hen party (bachelorette party)?”
The OP received dress code instructions for her friend’s bachelorette party.
“Last week was my (29 Female) friend’s (28 Female) hen party (bachelorette party).”
“The organizers requested we all wear black and stated the bride can wear something colorful of her choice, so that way, she could stand out as the bride.”
The OP chose a dress she thought fit the dress code enough.
“I wore a floral dress with a black background which I thought was perfectly on the theme because it is black as the base. It looked similar to this dress.”
“But when I got there, everyone else was wearing all black only.”
“One of the girls in the group asked why I was wearing florals when we were supposed to wear black.”
“I said my dress is still black too, just with a floral print.”
The OP’s apparel choice backfired.
“Then when we were having group photos taken, one of the girls who organized it looked annoyed and said the photos looked off as everyone was wearing full black, and the bride was in the middle wearing color, but there was a random floral print taking away attention.”
“Later, I confided with another girl, saying I don’t see why it was a big deal, it’s just a hen party, and I didn’t think it needed to be that strict.”
“She said it’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but it also wouldn’t have been a big deal for me to just wear black like instructed.”
“She pointed out that everyone owns something black, and it was chosen to make things easy, but it seemed like I was being difficult for the sake of it by purposefully choosing a print.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some pointed out that the instructions were incredibly clear.
“YTA.”
“Instructions seemed pretty d**n clear and you seem to be the only one who didn’t get it and not follow it to the letter, so that’s on you.”
“‘Wear black’ does not mean, ‘Oh, so long as the base is black, anything goes.'” – BoyoDee
“Dress codes exist for a reason, and it also wasn’t a big of an instruction given by the bride.”
“She couldn’t follow a simple dress code, knowing very well that it didn’t go well with the theme. She also didn’t apologize but continued to double down on her behavior, trying to find someone who will side with her.”
“OP, YTA.” – Fantastic_Bag4908
“The fact it’s black is what really pushes this into the AH category for me. There really really couldn’t be a simpler color to ask people to wear. I don’t wear black as part of my wardrobe really besides some pants… but I do own a basic black dress I could easily use for this.” – GraveDancer40
“Even if they don’t have a black outfit, that is something that should be so easy to either borrow from a friend or go buy something cheap. I’m not a big fan of the coordinating outfit thing, but if you are going to require everyone to wear the same color, black is by far the easiest request.” – anglerfishtacos
“You can buy a cute, solid black dress on Amazon (with Prime!) for like $30-$40. And, in my experience, they’re actually decent quality and will last so you can use them for other outings. It’s my opinion that everyone should have a nice, solid black outfit or ‘little black dress’ (or longer black dress, whatever makes you comfortable) in their closet.” – Palindromer101
“It’s pretty normal to want the bride to stand out at her bachelorette party. They were obviously considerate enough just to request black, so people can have more money to spend on having fun instead of having to buy an outfit to wear, and even if they did have to go shop for something, it’s not like it’s a color that’s hard to find or one they might never wear again.” – buttstuffisfunstuff
Others agreed and thought the OP was intentionally being difficult and stealing attention.
“YTA. All black means ALL black. I am not someone who thinks every single whim of a bride needs to be catered to, but wearing all black is pretty simple and the explanation is easy to understand. What I don’t understand is how you could interpret ‘all black’ as ‘clothes with some black in it.'”
“If I had been in your place, I would have been absolutely mortified that the entire group managed to correctly interpret the instructions and I messed things up. And that I ruined the plan for the whole party.”
“In fact, I’d be so mortified that I would’ve apologized profusely and tried to make it right. I probably would’ve offered to be the photographer all night, so I wasn’t in the pics.”
“Edited to clarify: I could’ve sworn the post said they were supposed to wear ‘all black,’ but I checked again, and it just says ‘black.’ The point is the same, though. I think most people interpret ‘wear this color’ as ‘wear ONLY this color,’ not a print with some of the color in it.” – sizzlesnarl
“She definitely understood the rules. She was just trying to feign ignorance. They literally told her the objective was for the colors on the bride to stand out. No sane human would think a floral dress in black meets that objective.”
“Also, I want to take a moment to shout out the bride, who didn’t make a scene that she (rightfully) could have made over this.” – LunaMunaLagoona
“She literally said, ‘It’s just a hen party,’ which meant that she just didn’t care about the rules.” – SoSoSquish
“I went to a bachelorette party once where she wanted us to be in all pink for one of the nights. I was really irritated because it was a destination, and I didn’t want to wear pink.”
“Then I realized I agreed to go to HER party for HER and what I wanted had NO bearing on the event. I bought a $20 pink dress and got over it and somehow managed not to post on Reddit for confirmation.” – Small_Ostrich6445
“You don’t see what the big deal is because you’re selfish. Fundamentally.”
“You don’t see what the big deal is, so it’s not a big deal. Step outside your selfishness and consider what the bride wanted, that she’ll have these pictures for the rest of her life. It’s a big deal for her. Everyone realized that, but not you for the singular reason given already.”
“YTA.” – Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnie
“When my mother and her husband got married, they wanted to elope on a beach. I REALLY wanted to see her get married, so it was ultimately decided that it would be just them, their adult kids, and their kids’ partners.”
“I went out and bought myself a nice dress to wear, and my mum bought my brother’s girlfriend a dress in the same color and material but a different cut because she knew she probably didn’t own any dresses.”
“When I showed my stepsister the dresses, she said she had a dress that matched, so she would wear that.”
“Because we would all be matching, I reached out to my stepbrother’s girlfriend and asked her if she happened to have anything similar, and that if not, I would be more than happy to get her a dress. I explained that I was going to take my DSLR camera and get some professional photos, and it would be nice if we all matched.”
“She flat-out refused to match us even if I paid.”
“We all showed up on the day of the wedding, and not only were us girls all matching except my stepbrother’s girlfriend, who was in a hideous floral dress, but my brother and my partner were both wearing white dress shirts and khaki shorts, and my step-brother was wearing dark shorts and a dark dress shirt.”
“When you look at the wedding photos, they look like two strangers we found on the beach who joined our photos. It really does make the photos look AWFUL when someone doesn’t match.”
“YTA, OP. It would’ve been so easy for you to play along.” – littlebetenoire
While some Redditors could understand how annoying dress codes could be, especially at someone else’s wedding, most found the instructions to “wear black” to be straightforward enough that anyone could abide by it.