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Bride’s Sister Calls Her ‘Bridezilla’ For Insisting MOH Buy Pricey Dress She’ll Never Wear Again

Bridesmaid and bride
Victor Dyomin/Getty Images

Redditor throwawaybride824 is getting married soon and has a very specific vision for her wedding day.

This vision includes specific colors, and a specific color for her maid-of-honor, in particular, to wear.

However, the Original Poster’s (OP’s) maid-of-honor and long-time best friend doesn’t want to spend money on a dress she’ll never wear again.

This has caused friction between the two, ultimately driving the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).

She asked:

“AITA for not letting my maid of honor choose her dress?”

She went on to explain.

“I’m [32-year-old female] getting married in August. My best friend Crissy [fake name, 30-year-old female] agreed to be my maid of honor and seemed really excited for me.”

“I told her I wanted my colors to be dark green and and pale pink and she agreed it was a really pretty combination.”

“So when we were dress shopping she kept picking out green dresses. I told her I wanted her to wear pink instead.”

“She was disappointed and said she doesn’t like pink and would probably not buy a dress from the store we were at if it wasn’t in a color she liked (because the boutique was pricy).”

“I can understand that so I just asked that she find an appropriate dress in the specific shade of pink I like.”

“Since then she has been sending me links to dresses that are NOT close to the color at all and green ones with pink floral.”

“She made a comment about how when I was her maid of honor a few years ago, she let me buy a dress I’ve worn multiple times since.”

“This pissed me off because her colors were navy and silver, so of course the blue dress she wanted me to buy is more versatile.”

“But it’s my turn now and I think the dress is a standard part of the maid of honor role. Its making me think she’s not going to be a good maid of honor to me.”

“I mentioned this to my sister and she said I was being a bridezilla.”

“She reminded me that crissy was a really relaxed bride and that we obviously have different expectations about wedding roles and need to talk it out.”

“I know she’s probably right, but I’m upset that she thinks I’m being a bridezilla.”

“Crissys wedding was a lot different than what I would have picked for myself- it was really casual and had a lot of cutesy, homemade elements.”

“My style is more elegant and classy and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

“When I first started talking to Crissy about my wedding plans, she kept reminding me that it’s one day and just a party and stuff like that.”

“But I have dreamed about this day since I was little.”

“I feel like Crissy doesn’t understand how important it is to me that my day is picture perfect because she admitted getting married wasn’t ever really important to her.”

“My fiancé says he understands why I’m upset, my sister says I suck, and Crissy hasn’t texted me back since I shot down the last few dresses she sent me.”

“So AITA??”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“YTA. If you want her in a pink dress from a pricey boutique, you pay for it. I don’t understand this tradition that a bridal party should pay for their own outfits anyway.” – PoetRevolutionary160

“YTA. Pull your head in. If you want to dictate what someone wears you cough up the cash. End of.”

“And Pearl pink does not automatically equal elegant. Newsflash different colours work/don’t work on different skin tones.” – princess_banana_

“So basically you want her to purchase a dress that she never ever would wear again? Usually pink dresses are not as desirable beyond the age of 12.”

“Perhaps you should pay for the dress if you are so much into it.”

“YTA” – Purplefox71

“YTA for asking for feedback on something and then just being defensive and arguing in the comments.”

“Why don’t you let her wear green? It’s still in your colour scheme. Or cough up the cash and buy the dress you want her to wear.”

“Yikes. If this is the expectations you are already putting on the day I can guarantee 100% that you’re going to be disappointed.”

“Your wedding isn’t about what other people are wearing – it’s about you and your partner and enjoying an amazing day with people you love.”

“If you are making it about this kind of thing already you will only focus on the things that go wrong – which they will.” – No_Artichoke4544

”So essentialy ‘I want you to wear a diffrent color of a dress and I don’t care if you will fell worse in it, I just want to feel good’”

“ofc YTA, however its your wedding so you can do whetever the hell you want.” – bajlajs

“Yta. If you’re going to insist it be a dress she’s never gonna be able to wear again, you need to pay for it.” – Troytegan


“You got to spend on a dress that fit her relaxed attitude to her wedding knowing fine rightly you’ll get lots of subsequent use out of it.”

“You’re trying to make her pick a colour, not even a style as such but a colour, that she is not going to get anywhere near enough use out of. While still expecting her to pay for it.”

“Your attitude sucks, you might think it looks elegant etc and yes it is your wedding (hoping fiancée had a say but something tells me he got no input at all)…”

“…if you’re that set on her wearing pink and she obviously doesn’t like it then you pay for the dress.”

“‘my sister says I suck’”

“You do, high five to sister”

“‘Crissy hasn’t texted me back since I shot down the last few dresses she sent me.’”

“Gee I wonder why” – ZookeepergameNo7151

“YTA automatically for basically saying her ‘cutesy homemade’ wedding wasn’t classy like yours is going to be.”

“I’m not sure you understand what ‘class’ actually means, which is unsurprising considering you clearly don’t have any.”

“You’re trying to force your good friend to wear something she’s not going to feel comfortable in and she gets to foot the bill to boot?”

“You should want your bridal party to feel their best on such a special day which means taking their feelings into account…”

“…especially when your other colour option is something she was happy to accommodate!” – Medical_Insurance_39

“NTA Every wedding I know of the bridesmaids had to pay for their dresses and shoes, which the bride chose.”

“This is so common, there are jokes about being stuck with expensive dresses you’ll never wear again. This is in Michigan USA. I know customs differ.” – Holiday_Trainer_2657

“YTA – If you want Crissy to wear a dress she hates, you buy it, if you expect her to pay for it, you compromise.”

“You are not owed a picture-perfect day, your bridesmaids are not dolls for you to dress up.”

“I was a bridesmaid at my friend’s wedding, she paid for the dress, I wore what she chose, I literally didn’t care since she was paying…”

“…but I would never have wasted several hundred pounds of my own money on the monstrosity she chose.”

“Most people don’t want to waste their hard-earned money on a dress they hate and will never wear again to prevent an entitled bride from throwing a tantrum”

“You have three choices here, insist she wears the dress you pick but pay for it yourself, she pays for the dress and wears a colour she is comfortable in or she isn’t MOH in your wedding.”

“Life is compromise. Even for brides.” – history_buff_9971

“Ok, in Portugal we don’t have a panoply of maid of honour, we have a best man and the equivalent female counterpart. So, maybe I’m insensitive to your, really 1st world problem. But you svck.”

“If the colours are light pink OR dark green and she likes the last one and not the 1st, let her buy it! You say navy blue is mire versatile. Gess what, so is dark green.”

“Stop being a snob. YTA” – boredportuguese77

“YTA – what sealed it for me is how you talked about her wedding vs yours. Calling hers ‘cutesy/casual’ and yours ‘classy and elegant’ says way more than you probably think it does.”

“It comes across that your day matters more than hers did therefore you deserve to get your way.”

“It’s 2023, if you’re hellbent on her wearing a dress color you know she won’t wear again, buy the dress. Otherwise let her wear a green dress or ask her to step down and likely lose her as a friend.”

“It’s time for you to decide if aesthetics that really only you care about or your friendship matters more.”

“ETA: your second edit REALLY Seals you as the AH. Don’t post on AITA asking if you’re the AH if you’re going to refuse to accept the verdict and be hyper defensive.” – Strict-Issue-2030

The OP went on to edit their original post before deleting the whole thing:

“Edit: I want to make it clear that Crissy is my best friend, we’ve known each other for almost 10 years. I’m not kicking her out of the role or asking her to step down.”

“We’re not fighting about this, she’s very supportive about everything else except this one thing. I just wanted to know if I was being unreasonable expecting her to wear what I want”

“Edit 2: fine I will ask if she wants me to help pay for the dress. I still don’t think I’m the a**hole”


Well, here’s hoping the bride’s compromise to help pay for the dress will help some.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)