Some people are culinary explorers. The love to try new things all the time.
Others pick a food or restaurant they love and always arrange to eat that food and nothing else at every gathering.
A culinary explorer turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
EntertainerIll9058 asked:
“AITA for buying my own dinner because I don’t like what the in-laws order?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I’d like to preface by saying that I am not a picky person. I don’t just…turn down food.”
“I’m always willing to try new things, even if they’re weird or unconventional. One of my favorite things to do is to pick out something I’ve never tried in the grocery store.”
“But my in-laws are hooked on this one take ‘n bake pizza joint that I just cannot stand. I’ve tried to like it. I’ve ordered so many different things off of their menu.”
“I just. Don’t. Like it. They order it for every single family event. Every get together. Every holiday. Every birthday.”
“I have explained many times. They’ve asked me what exactly I don’t like about it. I told them that, for some reason, everything that this place makes tastes bitter to me.”
“Like actually BITTER. Sour. They told me that they don’t think it tastes bitter, but they continued to try and have me try different things on the menu.”
“It has such an awful taste. Everything there, for some reason, is bitter. And the toppings taste like they’ve been sitting in a tin can for too long. I just do not like it!”
“It hasn’t stopped. They just don’t believe me, I guess.”
“I started ordering my own meals to bring to the parties. They got upset when they realized what I was doing.”
“I explained that I LIKE ordering my own food, because it’s a chance to get a treat for myself that I don’t normally order. Still, they’re always trying to convince my partner to get me to change my mind and just eat the same pizza as everyone else.”
“This Halloween, we’d all planned to get together for a Halloween party. My partner and I had actually planned out a fun homemade meal (pasta bar) for everyone, but MIL became VERY upset that we weren’t getting pizza.”
“She put her foot down so hard that we thought there’d be an actual honest to God fight about it, so we told her she could order the take ‘n bake she wanted.”
“And of course, I was going to run to the store and get my own favorite pizza. She became SO angry.”
“She insisted that I eat what she ordered, what everyone else was eating, and even offered to buy me ANYTHING that sounded good off the menu. I told her again that I don’t like anything on the menu and that I’m perfectly willing to go and buy something that I do enjoy instead.”
“She’s still angry with me. FIL is angry with me. They tried again and again to convince me (they always do) to get something off the take ‘n bake menu.”
“But I just don’t like it!”
“AITA for buying my own take out instead of what’s being served at the party?”
The OP later added:
“Because there’s questions, my partner is ALWAYS supportive of me and would never try to make me eat something I didn’t like. He does stand up for me and tells them, just like I do, that I just don’t like that place.”
“He’s a lot more confident about standing up to them than I am. But even when HE gets them to back down, the issue is brought back up the very next time we eat together.”
“And yes, we were planning on hosting and cooking everything. We’d actually bought all of the ingredients already.”
“But when she gets upset it’s a whole big thing that could last for days and ruin the whole party, so it’s really a ‘pick your battles’ thing.”
“Have everyone together for Halloween? Or have a silly fight over pasta vs. pizza and miss Halloween altogether trying to do damage control?”
“It’s a mess.”
The OP summed up their situation.
“Am I the a**hole for buying a completely different food than what is served at my in-laws parties just because I don’t like it?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“NTA. It’s a power play. MIL is trying to still be in control and, for the most part, is.”
“The only part she’s not controlling is OP’s eating what she wants and not her damn pizza.”
“That’s why she gets so angry. Whatever you do, don’t give in!! OP’s NTA at all.”
“MIL is just being really weird about this pizza joint because that pasta thing the two of them had planned sounded like fun.” ~ East_Bee_7276
“NTA…So, they are mad at you for the same thing that they would not do? I would ask why they get so upset that you do not eat any pizza from their favorite place.”
“You have tried different things many times from their place of choice. You do not like it. What more do they want or expect from you?”
“Where is your partner in all of this? Are they saying something? I would not be going to their events any more if they continue to act like this.” ~ Worth-Season3645
“Yep. The mental gymnastics is impressive. In-laws don’t want to eat what OP and husband prepared, but when OP doesn’t want to eat what in-laws ordered, then OP is the bad guy. WTH?” ~ One_Ad_704
“Wait. So you and your husband were hosting and MIL was furious that you weren’t serving food from the place she knows you hate? Yeah, that’s a hard no. NTA.”
“You’re all adults and no one else gets to tell you what you must eat. Maybe she’s too used to being in charge.”
“Maybe she’s a little titched in the head and can’t process the rejection of what she loves. I don’t know. But what she absolutely is NOT is the boss of you.” ~ External-Hamster-991
“NTA. My MIL used to invite us out to dinner in a town that had so many delicious and moderately priced restaurants, but she always picked this same buffet place where I really hated the food.”
“After the 3rd time, I just started saying thank you, but I’m not hungry right now. That offended her. So I asked my husband to ask if we could maybe try a different restaurant next time and she blew a gasket.”
“Threw a tantrum about how nothing was ever good enough for me and she would just never invite us out anywhere again. He said that was fine. And she didn’t.” ~ WaterWitch009
“NTA. My in-laws love this one pizza place near their house. I’ve hated it since elementary school. I make it very clear I hate the pizza from there.”
“When they order from there, they make sure they get something else for me that I do like or let me know so I can grab food for myself from somewhere else on the way to them.”
“That’s what normal people do. Your in-laws sound unhinged.” ~ horsecrazycowgirl
“My brother-in-law grew up with peanut butter on bread as an alternative whenever his family had a dinner with beef. It’s weird AF, but my whole family puts out peanut butter for him when we make beef stuff.”
“We all tend to stock regular guest’s favorite drinks, even if the people in the household don’t drink diet coke or dr pepper or whatever.”
“I’m not a fan of a take out restaurant my parents like, so I’ve always gotten something else from a place in the same strip mall when they wanted it.”
“My sister hates a particular meal my mom makes that I love, so that’s the dinner mom makes when my sister is busy and not coming to a family dinner anyways.”
“It’s generally not that hard to accommodate people’s tastes.” ~ notthedefaultname
“NTA. Your in-laws are insane. Why hasn’t your husband put his foot down firmly and refused to give in to her toddler tantrums? He needs to set a clear boundary.”
“When she is hosting, she can order from wherever she wants to, but if it is from THAT restaurant, you guys will bring your own food and if she throws a tantrum or makes ANY comments you will both leave and skip the next get together.”
“And if you guys are hosting, she does not get to dictate the menu, but she is welcome to bring her own food. But again, any complaints or comments about the food will result in her being asked to leave and again you will skip the next get together.”
“It is critical, though, that you and your husband are on the same page and that he is willing to enforce this boundary.”
“Hopefully once she knows that her behavior will no longer be tolerated, she will stop acting like this OR other family members will realize that this is NOT NORMAL.” ~ Little_Loki918
People felt OP’s decision to bring their own food—at their own expense—was a completely reasonable solution for their situation.
Constantly pressuring OP to eat from a restaurant they dislike? Not very reasonable at all.